Home

HOME PAGE THOUGHT OF THE WEEK:
Does the Bar Mitzvah boy unhappy about his take at Chanukkah have a gelt complex?

Welcome to Les Pages aux Folles, a collection of satirical writings and comedic doodles. The most recently written articles can be found in the New section; two or three will appear each Sunday. I now also rotate two cartoons (My Toronto and/or Delicate Negotiations); while the latest will appear on this page every Sunday, recent cartoons can be found on the appropriate pages in the New section. Collections of older material (currently numbering 16: 12 books of prose and four of cartoons) appear in the Archive.

Enjoy,
Ira Nayman

WARNING: This Web site contains words, images or concepts that may be offensive to some. While reading, please be sure that your inner child is otherwise engaged.

New

This Week's New Columns

Here, as promised, is Alternate Reality News Service catch up week. Enjoy.

The Daily Me - Lady Felicity Fitz-Phartasse

Did anybody call for a Conservative pundit
Who can make the corporate agenda sound like profundit-
y?
Well, I'm your man! Your man is me!
Today's your lucky day!

I have a bag of rhetorical tricks
Guaranteed to bedazzle and bamboozle hicks.
By the time I'm done, they will be certain
(Just do not look behind that curtain)
Their problems are all other people's faults - and those other people must be made to pay!

When The Pleasure Principle Peters Out [ARNS]

The microchip had the usual side effects (including: swelling of the middle finger, nasal hair edema, beating of teeth and gnashing of breasts, baby navel, flash headaches, flash mobs, flashing, cholesterol immaturitation, paisley lips, prolonged hardening of the nipples, Republicanism, roofing shingles and onomatopoeia). But, according to the satisfied customers in Smerck Industries' advertising campaign, it worked!

Bat (Shit Crazy) Murder [ARNS]

All of the epic battles between the Batman and the forces of evil that I had read about in newspapers, people in this other universe had only read about in comic books! The villains, the heroes, the love interests, the innocent victims, they weren't real people at all - they were the copyrighted property of a company called DC Comics!

They Voted With Their Defeat [ARNS]

The revelation was made clear: the world is a simulacrum in a vast computer-generated virtual space known as "The Matrix." It is run by machines for the power they can harvest from unconscious human bodies. Morpheus sent out the call to all who lived in The Matrix: join us in the real world.

So far, 37 of the over six billion humans in The Matrix have.

"Well, that was...anti-climactic," Morpheus commented.

Other Things Worth Knowing

Les Pages aux Folles is now out of diapers and in your face! That's right: the little Web site that knew better but went there anyway is seven years old! To celebrate, I have posted something completely unrelated to the main purpose of LPAF: the first section of a Dr. Who novel I wrote a couple of summers ago called The Laughing Elders. If you are a fan of the show, or if you'd like to know what I do when I'm not doing...this, be sure to check it out!

Les Pages aux Folles has a *STORE* where you can buy *MERCHANDISE*! (Sorry, I don't deal in "Merch:" it rhymes with Lurch, and that brings up childhood memories that are best left buried.) Because nothing says you love your readers more than trying to sell them something! Check it out!

Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, on dead trees desecrated with black ink, has received a pretty darned positive review in the June/July issue Fantasy and Science Fiction magazine. What are you waiting for? Get your print version now! Or...go to the Archive and read book 10. Your call. I'm just saying. Les Pages aux Folles in print: because if you don't buy a copy, those bastard flying squirrels will have won!

You can still find my posts to Follesbook, a discussion group on Facebook, in the archive. (And, hey, if you want to respond to anything you read there, you're always welcome to join the group...)

As always, all praise to Gisela McKay of Pixcode for her assistance with Les Pages aux Folles since its inception. Not only has she donated space on her server for me to park the Web site, but she has withstood an onslaught of newbie questions that would have made a lesser woman run away screaming (not an uncommon reaction to me, I must admit). This Web site would not have been possible without her. Gisela is, truly, a tech goddess.

All material on this Web site is (c) copyright by Ira Nayman. For more on this fascinating subject, go to the Les Pages aux Folles Legal page.

Merry Christmas!

And, I'm secure enough in my Jewishosity that I can say that! To celebrate Christmas with you, as well as a belated Hanukkah and whatever other celebrations occur around this time of year, I have put together the first collection of Delicate Negotiations cartoons! It is called Round One: The Quiet Melancholy. Look for it in the archive, or, as we say in my country, Chrissifus explatore blech!

Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!

If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!

Les Pages aux Folles is now out of diapers and in your face! That's right: as of this week, the little Web site that knew better but went there anyway is seven years old! To celebrate, I have posted something completely unrelated to the main purpose of LPAF: the first section (eight chapters in all) of a Dr. Who novel I wrote a couple of summers ago called The Laughing Elders If you are a fan of the show, or if you'd like to know what I do when I'm not doing...this, be sure to check it out!

If You Buy My New New Book, I Promise To, Like, Be Your Friend Forever!

You say you've hated trees since the flying squirrel incident when you were four years old? That, as far as you're concerned, the only good tree is a dead tree? Well, I can go you one better, because you can now buy another volume of Les Pages aux Folles, Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be on dead trees desecrated with black ink all over them! This time, you even have the choice of hardcover and paperback flavours! If this offer has gotten you excited, clean yourself off with a tissue and go to the Store/Books page for links to where you can take me up on it. Les Pages aux Folles in print: because if you don't buy a copy, those bastard flying squirrels will have won!

Would you be interested in immortality?

As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!

Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?