Les Pages aux Folles
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Welcome to Les Pages aux Folles, a collection of satirical writings and comedic doodles. The most recently written articles can be found in the New section; two or three will appear each Sunday. I now also rotate two cartoons (My Toronto and/or Delicate Negotiations); while the latest will appear on this page every Sunday, recent cartoons can be found on the appropriate pages in the New section. Collections of older material (currently numbering 19: 15 books of prose and four of cartoons) appear in the Archive.
Enjoy,Ira Nayman
WARNING: This Web site contains words, images or concepts that may be offensive to some. While reading, please be sure that your inner child is otherwise engaged.
New
This Week's New Columns
The Daily Me - Hirschman Montooth
Then, like, a month later, Amanda Bynes returned to acting. She's only 24, and already she's come out of retirement! Please! When we were 24, we had just been fired from our seventh Wal-Mart and were wondering if we would ever be gainfully employed. (As it happens, we haven't been so far, but that's not the point.) Twenty-four year-olds shouldn't be allowed to come out of retirement!
By the way, who is Amanda Bynes?
What the Heck Do You Know? Is So Not Into Burping the Baby
17) Why do all those birds and fish dying in the Gulf of Mexico hate capitalism?b) the storks run drugs for big Mexican cartels, and they have the contempt for their customers that only people engaged in criminal activity can have
c) plankton hate our freedoms
What I Did on My Summer Vacation - June, 2010
For the last 90 minutes of the Small Press Book Fair I had to pee. I was tempted to use the water bottle that I had recently emptied, the water bottle that had been the cause of my problem in the first place. Unfortunately, it brought to mind bad 1970s wilderness survival movies, so I suppressed the urge. Well, that and the fact that the tables didn't have cloths that entirely covered them in front. As tempting as it was, I may want to be asked back again.
The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up
Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?
Don't answer that.
Other Things Worth Knowing
Delicate Negotiations Grows A Moustache
You're one of the lucky few who have been reading Delicate Negotiations on Les Pages aux Folles. Yay. Go you. But, what of the unfortunate many who do not read Les Pages aux Folles and, therefore, have never been exposed to Delicate Negotiations? I bet you've never given them a thought. Well, I have. Two or three thoughts, in fact. And, one of them (the one without the profanity) was actually worth pursuing.
Delicate Negotiations is now available on Comic Genesis (formerly Keenspot). Comic Genesis is "a free webhosting and site automation service for webcomics." Woo hoo free! I mean, woo hoo automation! No, really, I mean woo hoo webcomics! If you want just the comic, the whole comic and nothing but the comic, check it out!
New Book...In Print - On Paper And Everything!
Dead trees...hot ink...moveable type - that's so 17th century! And, yet, there is something about holding a book in your hands...something sensual...something that can send shivers of pleasure up and down your spine. Oooooh! Good news! The latest Alternate Reality News Service Book, What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys, is now available in print. You can order it from Strategic Books. First, get the book. Then, get a room!
Calling All Bookstore Fetishists!
If you live in Toronto, you don't like to buy books online and you say please really, really nicely, you can buy a print copy of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be or What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys at Bakka Books! That's right: you can now buy my books at a real, live science fiction bookstore! Better hurry, though: if you don't get them before Bakka moves out of its Queen Street location, then...well...you'll just have to buy them at its new Harbord location!
Les Pages aux Folles has a *STORE* where you can buy *MERCHANDISE*! (Sorry, I don't deal in "Merch:" it rhymes with Lurch, and that brings up childhood memories that are best left buried.) Because nothing says you love your readers more than trying to sell them something! Check it out!
As always, all praise to Gisela McKay of Pixcode for her assistance with Les Pages aux Folles since its inception. Not only has she donated space on her server for me to park the Web site, but she has withstood an onslaught of newbie questions that would have made a lesser woman run away screaming (not an uncommon reaction to me, I must admit). This Web site would not have been possible without her. Gisela is, truly, a tech goddess.
All material on this Web site is (c) copyright by Ira Nayman. For more on this fascinating subject, go to the Les Pages aux Folles Legal page.
Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!
If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!
You may already be a winner? Well, actually...
It is with great pleasure that I can announce that I have taken first prize in the Swift Satire Writing Competition. This was for a poem called "Love Amid the Construction. The official announcement can be found here. Details of the contest, including, at some point soon, my winning entry, can be found here. What can I say?
WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!
The Universe Is Leaking!
Okay, now that I have your attention... Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, the first Alternate Reality News Service book, has just been given a five star review by the Web site Science Fiction and Fantasy. Yes, that is out of five stars, smartass. Be sure to check it out!
July Appearances
It was touch and go there for a while, but it would appear that I will have (half) a table at this year's (full) Polaris/Trek Con. So, if you're in Toronto and you don't have anything going on from July 16 to 18 (because, let's face it, this city is dead in the summer), drop by and say hi.
I will be giving a lecture on the promise of fame and fortune that the Internet has held out for poor slobs like me called "You, Too, Can Be Famous" at Gallery 1313 on July 21. (HINT: the idea may have been a little oversold.) If you have ever wanted to see me give a talk that wasn't about science fiction (be still your beating heart!), drop by. Festivities begin at 7:30. Debate begins at 7:31.
July is Stephen Harper month at Les Pages aux Folles!
To celebrate the crowning achievement of his Prime Ministership, the G20 summit, I have given Stephen Harper free reign to create My Toronto cartoons throughout the month of July. Of course, when I say "I have given Stephen Harper free reign to create," I really mean, "Stephen Harper took complete control of the creation of." Still, who am I to quibble during his moment of triumph? You can find them on the front page of the site.
To kick off Stephen Harper month, I wrote an ode to the G20 summit called lf{2508::No, THIS Is Democracy::10}. If you cannot get enough comedy at the Conservatives' expense - and, who among us can, really? - you will surely not want to miss this!
The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up
Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?
Don't answer that.
Would you be interested in immortality?
As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!
Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?