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Book One
Book Two
Book Three
Book Four
Book Five
Book Six
Book Seven
Book Eight
Book Nine
Book Ten [ARNS]
Book Eleven
Book Twelve
Book Thirteen
Book Fourteen
Book Fifteen [ARNS]
My Toronto
My Toronto, Book 2
Delicate Negotiations, Book 1
Blackout Funnies
Follesbook
Rocket Folles

Chapter 1: Introduction

  • Alternate Reality News Service Frequently Unasked Questions
  • Chapter 2: Alternate Technology

  • Alternate Reality Ain’t What It Used To Be
  • The Soul of the Old Machine
  • Your High School Impression Was Correct – History IS Boring!
  • But, Who Will Teach The Children?
  • Where Many Have Gone Before, Just Not Lately
  • "Oh - Ha Ha Ha - That Kook - Hee Hee - Kurzweil!"
  • The Tall and The Short Of It
  • The Bots Are Back in Town
  • Trial of the Nanosecond
  • A New Meaning Of The Term “Undercover Operation”
  • Survivor: Heaven
  • Abandoned Robot Pet Crisis Feared
  • If You Don't Like This Universe, Try Another One!
  • Chapter 3: Alternate Relationships

  • Ask Amritsar: Beauty and the Beast In One Inconvenient Package
  • Size DOES Matter
  • Whose Identity Is It, Anyway?
  • Seeing Red for the Last Time
  • Unholy Matrimony?
  • The Path of True Google Love Is Never Smooth
  • What Price, Vanity?
  • Men Are From Microsoft, Women Are From Apple
  • Father Knows Least
  • Alien Love
  • Nothing Subtle About Fools
  • Chapter 4: Alternate Games

  • I Don’t Want To Be Part Of Your Revolution If I Can’t Dance Dance
  • Profiles in Courage: Martin Felderhoffer
  • Fit For a King?
  • History Is Made At Night
    (019:57:32 Internet Standard Time, To Be Exact
  • Until the Smiting Begins
  • Chapter 5: Alternate Politics

  • US Signs Deal with DUGOO
  • Political Brand Standing
  • But, Is It Good For The Jews?
  • Red Blood + Whitewash + Blue Nation = Blackwater
  • Do Politicians Really Believe The Bullshit They Say?
  • Just Another Typical Wedgie Issue
  • How Robert Novak’s Eyebrows Saved America
  • The Quality of Merciless Is Not Litigated
  • The Magic Is Gone
  • What Goes Around…Makes You Dizzy When It Comes Around
  • DoD Can’t Hack It!
  • The Old Ball Game Is Juiced
  • Those Who Forget History Are Doomed To Keep Living It
  • Chapter 6: Alternate Economics

  • Progress – It’s in the Air!
  • Turn! Turn! Turn! A Time To Work And A Time To Work More
  • Last Tree Standing
  • Would You Like Fries With - AAACK!
  • Gang War Nets Littlest Victim To Date
  • One Singularity Sensation
  • Chapter 7: Alternate Arts and Culture

  • Cruel and Unusual – The Musical
  • About Bloody Time…Or, Is It?
  • Fashion Revolution
  • Is There An Eco In Here?
  • Revenge Is Sour
  • Death Is Easy…
  • An Operation To Forget
  • Hear Hear!
  • Now and Again
  • Out For Blood
  • Confessions of a Pizza Delivery Guy
  • Urban Adventures: Eyeball Pinball
  • Chapter 8: Alternate Lives

  • Lives Unlived: Folger McWonderman
  • Lives Unlived – Peter Underhill
  • Lives Unlived - George W. Bush
  • Lives Unlived – Harve Nordlinger
  • Lives Unlived -
    Poncho Margaret Hatrack Devilliers Santo Domingo Harris
  • Lives Unlived - Charles Foster "Charlie" Brown
  • Lives Unlived – Ferenzcia de Filippi
  • Lives Unlived - Ronald Winston Smith Reagan
  • Chapter 9: Alternate Alternatives

  • The Ungulate of Trimestres Declares Universal Impanishad
  • It’s For Science!
  • Popularity of Gravity Waning
  • Where the Pasta Hits the Road
  • Do You Mind?
  • Life Begins at the Hop
  • Science Gets Out of Hand
  • The Voice of Sanity Gets Its Chance
  • Priming Armageddon
  • How? Quaint!
  • Chapter 10: Alternate Bonus

  • The Alternate Reality News Service’s Field Guide to Alien Species
  • Welcome, Science Fiction Fans!

    If you came to Les Pages aux Folles curious about my writing thanks to science fiction or fan fiction, welcome! You can find the complete text of Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be and What Were Once Miracles Are Now Children's Toys in the Archive Section, as well as three new Alternate Reality News Stories every third week in the New Section. They are clearly marked [ARNS] for easy identification. And, please feel to browse through the other writing, cartoons and miscellaneous oddments - you never know what you might enjoy!

    You may already be a winner? Well, actually...

    It is with great pleasure that I can announce that I have taken first prize in the Swift Satire Writing Competition. This was for a poem called "Love Amid the Construction. The official announcement can be found here. Details of the contest, including, at some point soon, my winning entry, can be found here. What can I say?

    WHOOT WHOOT WHOOT!

    The Universe Is Leaking!

    Okay, now that I have your attention... Alternate Reality Ain't What It Used To Be, the first Alternate Reality News Service book, has just been given a five star review by the Web site Science Fiction and Fantasy. Yes, that is out of five stars, smartass. Be sure to check it out!

    July Appearances

    It was touch and go there for a while, but it would appear that I will have (half) a table at this year's (full) Polaris/Trek Con. So, if you're in Toronto and you don't have anything going on from July 16 to 18 (because, let's face it, this city is dead in the summer), drop by and say hi.

    I will be giving a lecture on the promise of fame and fortune that the Internet has held out for poor slobs like me called "You, Too, Can Be Famous" at Gallery 1313 on July 21. (HINT: the idea may have been a little oversold.) If you have ever wanted to see me give a talk that wasn't about science fiction (be still your beating heart!), drop by. Festivities begin at 7:30. Debate begins at 7:31.

    July is Stephen Harper month at Les Pages aux Folles!

    To celebrate the crowning achievement of his Prime Ministership, the G20 summit, I have given Stephen Harper free reign to create My Toronto cartoons throughout the month of July. Of course, when I say "I have given Stephen Harper free reign to create," I really mean, "Stephen Harper took complete control of the creation of." Still, who am I to quibble during his moment of triumph? You can find them on the front page of the site.

    To kick off Stephen Harper month, I wrote an ode to the G20 summit called lf{2508::No, THIS Is Democracy::10}. If you cannot get enough comedy at the Conservatives' expense - and, who among us can, really? - you will surely not want to miss this!

    The Alternate Reality News Service Grows Up

    Have you ever wanted to know what goes on behind the scenes at the Alternate Reality News Service? Of course you didn't! But, now that the question has been raised, it sounds intriguing, no? Okay, probably not. Still, here's the thing: there is now a Facebook group called The Alternate Reality News Service Cafe. If you go there, you will automatically receive a tri-weekly newsletter full of exclusive information. It is also a place where you can contribute to the Alternate Reality News Service and even, perhaps, work your way up the ARNS ladder until you are given a journalistic beat all for yourself. Doesn't that sound exciting?

    Don't answer that.

    Would you be interested in immortality?

    As you may have noticed, there is a weekly feature on Les Pages aux Folles called The Daily Me. Each article in this feature is a collection of bits and pieces of interest to a different person. I probably won't be shocking any of my readers when I say that, to date, I have made the persons up. (If you are shocked, I hear the Girls With Eyepatches site is nice this time of year...) Well, a future Daily Me could feature...you!

    Simply send me an email with your name and the names of three or four publications you regularly read and three or four issues/subjects in which you have an interest. Then, let me digest them and, two or three weeks later, The Daily Me could be The Daily You! Your name will appear in my writing...forever! No complicated creams! No messy cryogenic devices! Immortality has never been easier! What are you waiting for?