Les Pages Aux Folles: Headlines Just Couldn't
Headlines Just Couldn't
That Explains The Large Tubes Containing Red Pigments That Date Back To The Late Cretaceous Era
"T. rex likely had lips, research suggests"
- Toronto Star
Humanity Hasn't Been Genetically Engineered To Exist On Sunlight, So We Still Need Food
"Metro reports profits up 10%
Retailer launching loyalty program to gain insight into shopping patterns"
- Toronto Star
And That's Just In American Grade Schools!
"Report alleges culture of fear"
- Toronto Star
Stop Beating Locals With Your Stiff Upper Lips!
"Amsterdam Warns Rowdy Brits"
- New York Times
And Now That Star Trek: Picard Is Over, He's Free To Run!
We'll Just Handwave The Whole Citizenship Question...
"Stewart an inspired choice to take on Trump in '24"
- Toronto Star
He Forgot To Add: "...Up To Corporations. The Platter May No Longer Be Silver, But It Still Serves Its Purpose..."
"'I will never stop serving Canada'
O'Toole to resign as Durham MP, won't seek re-election"
- Toronto Star
Where Have We Heard THAT Before?
"NDP must learn from the past"
- Toronto Star
Boooooo-ring!
Now, If The Headline Had Read, "Pope Ate Baby, Baptized Pizza While In Hospital," THAT Would Have Gotten My Attention!
"Pope ate pizza, baptized baby while in hospital"
- Toronto Star
Chamber Of Commerce Last Thing Economy Needs Ever, Union Says
"CRA won't extend deadline to file taxes
Picket line 'last thing' economy needs now, Chamber of Commerce says"
- Toronto Star
Asimov's Robots Didn't Think So
"Positivity Is Overrated"
- New York Times
So, We're Living Through Edge of Tomorrow (Without Tom Cruise's Teeth)
"The world is flirting with a doom-loop"
- Toronto Star
Fortunately, The Majority Of Those Who Will Benefit Are Men, And They're OK With That
"Privatization won't close the gender pay gap"
- Toronto Star
Check Your Environment For Cameras - It Sounds Like You're In A Movie Of The Week
"I'm dating a twin. His brother just hit on me"
- Toronto Star
More Private Cash Will, Though
Funny How That Works
"More cash for health care won't fix much"
- Toronto Star
You Think? Because For Me, It Provokes A Yawn And Tiredness
"Madonna's New Face Is a Brilliant Provocation
- New York Times
Their Extreme Right Is Represented By People Of All Colours
"U.K. a model for political diversity"
- Toronto Star
Headline Telegraphs Consumer Disappointment
"Minister relying on telecom's promises"
- Toronto Star
Is The Fact That Everybody In The Royal Family - Including The Corgis - Hates Her One Of Them?
Even Inspector Clouseau Couldn't Miss That Clue!
"Meghan Markle will be skipping the spectacle
There are plenty of clues as to why she RSVP'd 'no'"
- Toronto Star
Mickey Is Famous For Putting Other People To Sleep, Which Means He Doesn't Have To Listen To Them
"Finn's Key to Happiness Is Having Just Enough"
- New York Times
The Neighbours Will Appreciate Getting A Good Night's Sleep For A Change
"A relationship in decline (but shhhh...)
- Toronto Star
So We're Going To Throw A Ton Of People Out Of Work To Compensate
You Can't Argue With Economics
"It's too easy for firms to hike prices, Macklem says"
- Toronto Star
Umm...Russia Might Have A Say In That...
"Time for global leaders to stop war in Ukraine"
- Toronto Star
After All We've Done To Them, Their Placid Attitude Towards Us Isn't Credible
"Experts doubt porpoise pledge"
- Toronto Star
Just As The Desert Ecosystem Needs Vultures To Maintain Its Equilibrium...
"Vilifying Venture Capitalists Is Misguided Criticism"
- New York Times
Modern Capitalism: Where Job One Is Cutting Jobs To One
"McDonald's layoffs coming
Fast-food chain closes U.S. offices temporarily ahead of corporate cuts"
- Toronto Star
"Canopy to lay off 800, close plant
Cannabis firm posts net loss of $266.7M, more than double result in same period last year"
- Toronto Star
"Bed Bath & Beyond shuts Canadian stores
Closings will result in job losses of more than 1,400
- Toronto Star
"Boeing to cut 2,000 jobs in HR and finance"
- Toronto Star
"Nordstrom to close in Canada
Retailer to shutter 13 stores and lay off 2,500 employees
- Toronto Star
"Ford eliminates 3,800 jobs in Europe"
- Toronto Star
I'll Drink To That!
"Drinking has no health benefits
Research looked at studies from last 40 years, suggested they were flawed"
- Toronto Star
It May Find That That Investment Has Turned To Vinegar
"Tax credits aim to ensure U.S. doesn't outgreen Canada
Ottawa hopes new subsidies will uncork billions in private-sector spending"
- Toronto Star
Try To Determine How Much In Tax Credits The Government Is Willing To Throw At It
"HOW TO KNOW IF A WINE WILL AGE WELL"
- Toronto Star
As Any Palestinian Will Tell You
"Israel's Democracy Endures"
- New York Times
Which Tastes A Little Weird If Their Business Is Waste Management
"Many U.S. firms coming north focus on chicken sandwiches"
- Toronto Star
Which One?
"Trump trial delay rejected"
- Toronto Star
An Island Without Extradition Treaties To The US Should Be Far Enough
"Crypto Seeks Distance From Its Past Problems"
- New York Times
