X Marks the Spot...For Indigestion

You Didn't Mention Jews Drinking The Blood Of Christian Babies!
No Holiday Greeting Is Complete Without A Blood Libel!
Are You Even TRYING To Make Jews Feel Like You're On Their Side?

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

Just a quick reminder for liberal Jews who voted to destroy America & Israel because you believed false narratives! Let's hope you learned from your mistake & make better choices moving forward! Happy New Year!

It's Enough To Drive A Hard-working Journalist To Drink

David Brooks
nytdavidbrooks

This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.

Oh, Come On! You Have To Go To The Bathroom Some Time!

Steven Dennis
@StevenTDennis

*SENATOR BOB MENENDEZ: 'I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE'

Oscar Wilde's Libel Case Against The Marquess Of Queensbury Is A Precedent

Hugo Lowell
@hgolowell

New: Cassidy Hutchinson's former Trump-paid lawyer Stefan Passantino has filed a defamation suit against Andrew Weissman, per notice. Passantino argues Weissman defamed him by saying in a Sep. 15 tweet that he "coached" Hutchinson to lie to the Jan 6 committee.

Conspiracy Theory Runs Aground On The Shoals Of Reality:
He Has Already Served Two Terms - He Can't Run Again

Randy Quaid
@RandyRRQuaid

The only news that matters is that Obama is currently working unexposed to steal the 2024 election. Investigate that!

Ah, Now It All Becomes Clear

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Ted Cruz believes that Michelle Obama will replace Biden as the Democratic nominee in August 2024.

Trump's Anti-union Actions Turned That Into 3 Out Of 10

Trip Gabriel
@tripgabriel

4 out of 10 union households voted R in the last presidential election.

You'll Love The Jumpsuit: It Will Bring Out The Orange In Your Skin

Nathalie Jacoby
@nathaliejacoby1

BREAKING: Donald Trump is privately concerned he could be headed to prison.

What do you say to him?

Obviously, Not So Sad That I Can't Hijack His Brand
In Fact, I May Actually Be Feeling Indigestion

Donald Trump Jr.
@DonaldJTrumpJr

I'm sad to announce, my father Donald Trump has passed away. I will be running for president in 2024.

That's A Campaign Slogan Sure To Appeal To The Republican Party's Racist Base

Donald Trump Jr.
@DonaldJTrumpJr

Fuck @JoeBiden Stupid Ass N*gga

Your Platform Is Far-sighted

Donald Trump Jr.
@DonaldJTrumpJr

Richard Heart is innocent, when I become president I am going to burn the SEC.

@RichardHeartWin

Expect Thoughts And Prayers, Because Unless You're His Mother, You Ain't Getting A Dime
You Won't If You're His Mother Either, But You Might Get A Nice Card On Your Birthday
A Nice E-card
That Somebody Else Signs For Him

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Question for woman at Trump speech in Iowa today - How did Trump's policies benefit you?

A- Ahhhhhhhhh. I need the government to pay for my back surgery and I'm hoping Trump can help me out.

Are You Trying To Get Kicked Off TwitterX?
Oh, Wait - It Doesn't Work Like That Any More...

CALL TO ACTIVISM
@CalltoActivism

BREAKING: Kevin McCarthy will hold an impeachment inquiry into President Biden on September 28.

Is Kevin McCarthy a coward or just a huge asshole?

The Absurd Ironyometer Is Making A Killing Investing In Bulletproof Vests For Children

Asha Rangappa
@AshaRangappa

The irony with the Hunter Biden charge is that the firearm application only exists because he purchased from a federally-licensed firearms dealer, which actually conducts a background check - you know, the same background checks Rs don't think you should undergo to own a gun

"I Would Have Been At The Party To Have A Piece Of Cake To Celebrate, But I Had To Write This Instead"

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

"@realDonaldTrump: I would like to extend my best wishes to all, even the haters and losers, on this special date, September 11th."

What Can You Do When The Electorate Insist Upon Casting Votes For More Ron?

Acyn
@Acyn

Johnson: "All this climate alarmism is based on bad science completely ignoring the impact of clouds... These windmills are killing the whales"

Yes. And He Forced Donald Trump, Who Was The President In 2017, To Sign It. Somehow...

Rudy W. Giuliani
@RudyGiuliani

Why did the US (NIH) in 2017 give $3.7m to the Wuhan Lab in China?

Such grants were prohibited in 2014.

Did Pres. Obama grant an exception?

He Probably Just Has Birth Certificate Envy

Rep. Eric Swalwell
@RepSwalwell

#BREAKING James Comer believes he can prove Hunter Biden is the son of President Joseph R. Biden.
Watch this space.

Kevin McCarthy Coming From Another Brutal Caucus Meeting?

Jennifer Haberkon
@jenhab

Spotted in the Senate hallway: large bowl of red jello on a cart, destined for a lunch buffet.

Boebert Juice!
Boebert Juice!
Boebert Juice!
(Is She Gone Yet?)

Lauren Boebert
@Laurenboebert

If you're undermining America's immigration laws, you shouldn't receive a taxpayer-funded salary.

And I'm Not Saying That Just So Members Of His Base Won't Try To Kill Me

Elise Stefanik
@elisestefanik

As one of Congress' newest moms, I am proud to join President Trump's 'Parents for Trump' coalition!

President Trump will protect parents' rights in the classroom and abolish racist critical race theory.

Taylor Swift: The Federalist's Existence Is A Sign Of Societal Decline

The Federalist
@FDRLST

Taylor Swift's Popularity Is A Sign Of Societal Decline

Stop Making With The False Choices, Already!

Republicans against Trump
@RpsAgainstTrump

This MAGA follower says that when Donald Trump was president "Everything was wonderful, and when he left everything went to hell."

Is she a delusional moron or just ignorant?

Marjorie Taylor Greene Cut Off His...Shame And Keeps It In A Jar On Her Desk
To Be Fair, It's A Small Jar

Republicans against Trump
@RpsAgainstTrump

NEW: Kevin McCarthy denied President Zelensky's request to deliver a joint address to Congress.

"My Kevin" also declined the Biden administration's offer to give the House the same classified briefing about Ukraine the Senate got yesterday.

Have you no shame, @SpeakerMcCarthy?

Representative Raises Level Of Public Discourse To Platonic Levels
(That Would Be Gus Plato, The Bully In Her High School)

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene
@RepMTG

Whatever you old fart.

I Had "Trump's Brain Will Explode" On My Bingo Card
Not That That's A Game I Want To Win...

MeidasTouch
@MediasTouch

A disoriented and confused Donald Trump short-circuited again during a live speech today and appeared to think that Jeb Bush was president and got us into the Iraq War.

Concerns continue to grow about Trump's deteriorating mental condition.