The Daily Me - Coz Umell

Thank you, Coz Umell, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, tech guru Dan Tapscott wrote an opinion piece in which he claimed that Web3 would empower individual users. Silly us. We thought Web1 had empowered us. Then, we thought Web2 had definitely empowered us. Apparently, we didn't know what individual empowerment was.

Honestly, if we become any more empowered, we'll just get it over with and hand our souls directly to Microsoft.

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Keep Your Enemies Close, And Your Friends As Far The Hell Away As Possible

Following a rosy report that was full of unsupported assumptions, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has stated that the province is considering pulling out of the Canada Pension Plan. Not only would this weaken the national plan intended to protect seniors, but it could be the first step in ending Confederation.

"That's a great move!" enthused former British Prime Minister Boris Johnston. "Trust me - you'll be so much better on your own than you ever were in the Europea - uhh, Canadian Confederation!"

"The record clearly shows that countries do better financially on their own than as part of economic blocs," said investment billionaire Peter Hargreaves. "I don't see why this would not apply to provinces within nations."

"Burn it down! Burn it all down!" shouted former UK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage. "My, but this is exciting, isn't it? Don't take orders from leaders in foreign capitols! Take it from me: Burn! It! All! Down!"

SOURCE: Daily Semaphore

[http://www.news.semaphore.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;sessionid=M5UF23LWOLFFPQFIQMFSM5WAVCBQ0JVC?nextPage=/DUereDE/wXeR.WZvwF?7wF~/DUereDE/s119/Os/14/JD141O.7wF!2qZiiv~/DUeReDR/s119/Os/14/e7DUeReDR.ZvwF!2iG3gimmygi2Z~vg3i&resize=null&_requestid=27976]
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You Have No Idea How Personal Responsibility Works, Do You, Sir?

"We always get the blame. Name one time that we've shut the government down and we haven't got the blame." - American Republican Representative Mike Simpson

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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If, As Is More Likely, Your Surmises Are A Pack Of Lies, THIS IS LIBEL AND YOU NEED TO BE SUED WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT'S LIFE

Matt Wallace
@MattWallace888

AFTER CONDUCTING AN INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION, I BELIEVE LAUREN BOEBERT WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED & IS BEING VICTIM SHAMED

Notice in This Footage I Have Obtained of The Two Walking Outside The Theater After Being Kicked Out, Lauren Appears To Be Very Drunk While Quinn Seems Fully Composed!

Her Date, Quinn Gallagher, Is A Wealthy Bar Owner In Aspen Who Knows Jeff Bezos and Many Other Elites. He is Also A Known Democrat!

Do You Believe He Was Instructed To Get Her As Drunk As Possible, Then Take Her To The Theater and Sit Right in Front of The Main Camera?

If True, THIS IS SEXUAL ASSAULT AND NEEDS TO BE INVESTIGATED!

SOURCE: Ending Trending Web Site

[http://endingtrending.blurgh/putting-out-the-welcome-matt-for-madness/]
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Thank Goodness For Political Calculators!

Ontario Premier Doug Ford has reversed himself on his reversal to allow development in the Greenbelt. Which, if I understand the math, means he will now not allow development in the Greenbelt. Yeah. That's what he announced the other day.

In making that announcement, he argued that this was similar to the start of the COVID-19 outbreak: if there were miscalculations on the Greenbelt, they were as well-intentioned, a product of the speed necessary to deal with a crisis, just as the mistakes made early on in the pandemic. Nothing corrupt to see here. Nope. Move along.

I suppose we should expect an investigation into how friends of the Premier (ie: large donors - there's no evidence that he has actual friends) profited off the distribution of COVID vaccines any day now.

SOURCE: Glob and Maul

[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20230922.eladvote0102_@/BNStory/newsOops2012/]
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Scurrilous Behaviour Totally On Brand

Russell Brand's channel has been demonetized by YouTube and some of his shows have been destreamed by the BBC after several women came forward to accuse him or rape and sexual assault. If the allegations prove to be true, he could lose a substantial amount of revenue, not to mention his freedom.

Which would be a shame. He was much funnier as a wellness guru and political commentator than he had ever been as an actual comedian.

SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now

[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2023/2023/09/24/annabananafeefiefofanna/]
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When Did The Right Become Such Voltaireheads?

People on the left, precious snowflakes that they are, are complaining about getting death threats for the beliefs they state in public. Talk about a double standard! They obviously don't believe in free speech!

They need to be reminded of what Voltaire truly said: "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to your death my right to say anything against it."

SOURCE: Bigots Without Borders

[http://www.bigotswithoutborders.org/]
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Remakes Are Rarely As Good As The Original
Although The Remake Of January 6 Is Likely To Have Much Better Special Effects (And, As A Nod To The Fans Of The Original, A More Satisfying Ending)

Senator Robert Menendez has had to resign as chair of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee after being indicted on corruption charges. He and his wife Nadine are accused of using his position to aid the authoritarian government of Egypt and to pressure federal prosecutors to drop a case against a friend.

Come on, people! It's only been eight years since Menendez' first corruption trial - we didn't need a reboot!

SOURCE: USA Whenever

[http://www.usawhenever.com/news/newyork/2023-09-23-chilly-relations_x.htm]
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Kind Of Puts The Whole "We Can't Moderate Hateful Content On Our Site" Schemazzle Into Perspective, Doesn't It?

This content isn't available in Canada

We could tell you that it's a matter of high principle, that we're taking a stand for freedom of speech. But we're going to try something a little different this time: honesty. We've been exploiting legacy media for over a decade, now, making billions of dollars by sucking away their ad revenue while linking to their content. The Canadian government has demanded that we give some of that money back to the people whose work fuels our profits. Sure, we could afford it. But you know what? We don't wanna.

So, instead, we're blocking Canadians from having access to local news outlets. Until the government stops being petty and interfering with our massively successful corporate enterprise, we're going to be petty right back and stop Canadians from getting news from The Tuktoyaktuk Galactic Gleaner and The Guilford Stunned on Farcebook.

It's not that we have anything against Canadians, with your socialized medicine and...beavers. It's just that if your government is successful, other, larger, more important to our bottom line countries might follow your example. And that keeps us up til the wee hours of the night with the screaming heebelach jeebelachs. And our voices are raspy enough as it is. Sorry about your luck. Learn more corporate propaganda

SOURCE: The Smoking Gut

[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173072840-473418378150637420952-3794147940736139500-03896273876471cahs01.html]
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