Les Pages Aux Folles: To Every Headline, Churn, Churn, Churn...
To Every Headline, Churn, Churn, Churn...
It Was The Last Time White Supremacy Didn't Have To Apologize For Itself
"Why is TikTok obsessed with the Roman Empire?"
- Toronto Star
If So, It's Helping Our - Ahem - Bottom Lines
"Is slower spending hurting Uber Eats?"
- Toronto Star
When It's The Crombie Government
"When will Ford government get its act together?"
- Toronto Star
Stop Dancing Around The Real Issue And Build Walkable Communities
Or Stop Walking Around The Real Issue And Build Danceable Communities
(This Headline Was Approved By Fred Astaire)
"Are electric vehicles our best bet?
Their batteries demand rare earth metals at a rate that is far outstripping supply, but the environmental damage of fossil fuels is far greater. What's the right thing to do?"
- Toronto Star
I...I'm Beginning To Question Your Environmental Commitment
"Is this Mercedes SUV really WORTH THE COIN?"
- Toronto Star
Not For Parliament, Whose Members Go In For More Exotic Fetishes
It Might Work For Provincial Government, Though
"I have a foot fetish. Is it normal?"
- Toronto Star
Naked Lawn Darts
"We drank in parks and the world didn't end. What should we try next?"
- Toronto Star
As Long As Everybody Agrees It Is
Of Course, One Disbeliever Can Spoil It For The Rest Of Us - Yes, I'm Looking At You, Fred!
"Is gold really worth its weight?"
- Toronto Star
I Prefer To Think Toronto's Car Culture Is Overrated
"Is Toronto's parking 'underpriced'?"
- Toronto Star
How...Involved In His Death Were You?
"Should I keep money from husband's will?"
- Toronto Star
Are You Kidding? They Can't Even Mustard Entourage To Project Bees!
"Can councillors muster courage to protect trees?"
- Toronto Star
When You Just Bought A New Stove
"What does 'range' mean for an EV? When is 'range anxiety' misplaced?"
- Toronto Star
They Should Get A Room!
"What about the wildlife in trees in Ontario Place?"
- Toronto Star
Sure - If It Will Get Out Of The Trees In Ontario Place!
"Is there any room for hope?"
- Toronto Star
You Have The Right To Remain Silent
Anything You Say Can And Will Be Used Against You In The Court Of Public Opinion
"Taking a side online - what are your rights?"
- Toronto Star
Why Should It Be?
If Filling Out Expense Reports Was Fun, Everybody Would Want To Do It!
"Can filling out expense reports be less painful?"
- Toronto Star
For The Waters
...It Was Misinformed...
"Why Is Statue of Columbus in Puerto Rico?"
- New York Times
Screaming Into A Media Void
"Where is support for Palestinians?"
- Toronto Star
On The Plus Side, The Municipal Dump Has Affordable Units
"My son's girlfriend treats him like garbage. Should I get involved?"
- Toronto Star
Peace!*
"If Israel destroys Hamas, what happens next?
- Toronto Star
*Until The Next Generation Of Disenfranchised Palestinian Youth Rises Up To Fight The Occupation
That's Ridiculous! Everybody Knows That Cats Are People's Babies!
"My sister believes her dogs are her 'babies'
- Toronto Star
We Like Breathing
"Why don't we incinerate more garbage?"
- Toronto Star
CONFESS YOU DON'T KNOW BEST
As Shakespeare Truly Wrote - Would Yonge Street By Any Other Name Be Any Shorter?
"MESS TO ADDRESS
T.O.'s had Yonge at heart for 200 - will that name be the first to go?"
- Toronto Sun
One Of Them Is A Computer Hacker
"In a class of its own
A single Toronto high school produced six graduates with perfect 100 per cent averages. What's the secret of their success?"
- Toronto Star
Society Crashes
"What happens if COVID takes off?"
- Toronto Star
Thoughts And Prayers
"Are you owed anything if your condo development is delayed?"
- Toronto Star
This Is The World
Arguably, This Is The Human Condition
"Anguish and pain: This is Canada?"
- Toronto Star
Does He Often Orange Flamenco Eavestrough?
If So, Maybe...?
"Does my husband smoke too much pot?"
- Toronto Star
Disguise Them As Feral Rabbits
"How can I protect my catalytic converters from being stolen?"
- Toronto Star
I Doubt The Conservatives Will Go For A Weekend Cleanse
Maybe An Exorcism Is Called For
"Can new Speaker detoxify debate in the House?"
- Toronto Star
February 12, 1963
"When exactly were politicians respectful?"
- Toronto Star
It Will If They Change The Name To Funtennial Park!
"Will Centennial Park upgrade include fun?"
- Toronto Star
You Don't Have To Go As Far To Strangle Your Neighbour
"What are the benefits of higher housing density?"
- Toronto Star
Yes, But Obviously Not Far Enough: It's Still Not The 1950s
"Did you set your clocks back?"
- Toronto Star
