But Would You Let Elon Musk Provide Internet Service For Your Daughter?

The Donald

Why Not? It Represents The Contributions Of A Mere Thousand Small Donors Chump Change, Really

Alex Cole
@acnewsitics

Just one day after being fined $10,000 and humiliated by Judge Arthur Engoron, Trump attacks him again.

Powell...Powell...Powell
The Name Is Familiar, But I Don't Think I Ever Met Her
Wasn't She A Movie Star? Or, Am I Thinking Of Sidney Poitier?

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

Sidney Powell was one of millions and millions of people who thought, and in ever increasing numbers still think, correctly, that the 2020 Presidential Election was RIGGED & STOLLEN, AND OUR COUNTRY IS BEING ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED BECAUSE OF IT!!! Despite the Fake News reports to the contrary, and without even reaching out to ask the Trump Campaign, MS. POWELL WAS NOT MY ATTORNEY, AND NEVER WAS. In fact, she would have been conflicted. Ms. Powell did a valiant job of representing a very unfairly treated and governmentally abused General Mike Flynn, but to no avail. His prosecution, despite the facts, was ruthless. He was an innocent man, much like many other innocent people who are being persecuted by this now Fascist government of ours, and I was honored to give him a Full Pardon!

That's All Fani Willis Is Asking For - Good To See There's One Thing You Can Agree On

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Trump: "I am willing to go to jail if that's what it takes for our country to win and become a democracy again."

And That Doesn't Violate The Separation Of Church And State
Because...Because...Because HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP!

Sawyer Hackett
@SawyerHackett

Wow. Trump says if he's elected he'll implement "strong ideological screening" of all immigrants to the U.S.

One of his criteria: "If you don't like our religion...then we don't want you in our country."

TRANSLATION: "I'm Still Developing My Insanity Plea. Get Back To Me In Twenty-five Squirrels..."

Acyn
@Acyn

Reporter: You said Sidney Powell wasn't your attorney. Are you concerned that won't be covered by attorney-client privilege?

Trump: No. We did nothing wrong. This is all Biden... I was never indicted. You practically never heard the word.

Strange Way To Court The EV (Evangelical Voters) Crowd

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Trump says auto workers are going to hell: "You shouldn't pay those (union) dues because they're selling you to hell. You're gonna to be going to hell. All those (EV) cars are going to be made in China. Every one of them."

The New Speaker of the House

Just Like The Snake Biting You Wasn't Its Fault - You're To Blame For Putting Your Finger Between Its Teeth

Jake Sherman
@JakeSherman

IN THE MEETING yesterday between JIM JORDAN and hold outs, close Jordan ally WARREN DAVIDSON said it's not Team Jordan's fault that holdouts are getting death threats. They are getting the death threats, he said, because they voted against Jordan.

This was relayed to me from many ppl in the room.

Then, They Would Have To Admit That They Were Doing It For Pleasure

House Judiciary Dems
@HouseJudiciary

During a House Judiciary Committee hearing, Rep. Mike Johnson attacks Roe v. Wade, insisting that if only women were compelled to bring more "able-bodied workers" into the world, Republicans wouldn't need to slash Social Security and Medicare.

Without Thoughts, Though, Prayers Are About As Helpful As Guns Without Bullets
Unless You're Willing To Bludgeon Mass Shooters Into Submission...

Aaron Rupar
atrupar

New House Speaker Mike Johnson offers prayers in response to the latest horrible mass shooting. Can't believe nobody has thought of that before.

He Obviously Spent The Entirety Of The Eighties In A Church While The Rest Of Us Were Having Fun
If Johnson Becoming Speaker Is Our Punishment, I'm Not Sure It Was Worth It

Charles Johnson
@littlegreenfootballs.com

Mike Johnson (who is not my brother) says we should be terrified of "sexual anarchy" and I'm like don't threaten me with a good time mike

If Only We Could Make The Human Heart Bulletproof, There Would Be No Problem!

Aaron Rupar
@atrupar

Speaker Mike Johnson dismisses gun control: "The problem is the human heart. It's not guns ... this is not the time to talk about legislation."

The Trump MAGAts

I Long For The Days Of Her Earlier, Funnier Appearances On Right Wing Podcasts

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Roseanne Barr: "I don't think anything is going to wake up the Jews and the blacks who vote Democrat. They're so severely mind controlled .. I don't think they can get it."

In Fact, He's So Guilty, He Should Be Jailed For The Rest Of His Life Without A Trial
We're Not The Law And Order Party, We're The Law and Order Party (But It's Easy To Understand Your Confusion)

Derrick Evans
@Evans4WV

Everything we are experiencing is the direct result of a stolen election.

The Biden regime is illegitimate.

No amount of time in prison will change those facts.

I want to see Biden dragged out of the Oval Office in handcuffs for his crimes against the American people.

I'm Not Going To Reveal The Name Of The Source For This Information
All I Will Say Is That The Guy Who Dyed My Hair Really Knows Some Amazing Shit!

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Rudy says Biden is an Iranian spy: "He's on Iran's side and he's on Hamas's side. He is not on our side. He's got a bunch of spies in his Admin. The guy is working for Iran. Why? Maybe because they've infiltrated his Admin the way the communists infiltrated FDR's Admin."

The Everybody Else

How Can I Get In On This?

Molly Jong-Fast
@MollyJongFast

I'm sorry but I will never stop finding Kellyanne Conway's hatred of me wildly amusing.

So, If Israel Would Please Stop Saying We Approve Of The Invasion, We Would Be Ever So Grateful

Jared Szuba
@JMSzuba

NEWS: USMC Lt. Gen. James Glynn, dispatched by Pentagon to advise Israel on risks inherent in an invasion of Gaza Strip, has returned to the US.

"Make no mistake: what is, has or will unfold in Gaza is purely an Israeli decision."
- USMC commandant Gen. Eric Smith told reporters.

Why Should Anybody Take The Advice Of A Writer? It's Not Like You Know Anything About Horrific Violence!

Stephen King
@StephenKing

The shootings occurred less than 50 miles from where I live. I went to high school in Lisbon. It's the rapid-fire killing machines, people. This is madness in the name of freedom. Stop electing apologists for murder.