The Daily Me - Heather Reisman's Friends on the Force

Thank you, Heather Reisman's Friends on the Force, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we were sucked into a discussion...debate...debacle about the Israeli invasion of Gaza. Our position was that maybe, you know, and we only throw this out there as something people might want to think about, doing war crimes while slaughtering 15,000 people, a third of whom are children is kind of, sorta, perhaps a bad thing.

Well! The response was swift (and we're not talking the Taylor kind!): we were called anti-Semites, no, you're Jewish, okay self-hating Jews, and terrorist goat starers (apparently, staring at goats is a much maligned pastime in the Middle East). Honestly, we had never considered staring at goats, but after all of the online abuse, we wondered if maybe we wouldn't find it soothing...

One of the people we discussed...debated...debacled the issue with on Farcebook was @heartmaster027. We went back and forth over various issues for a couple of hours until we thought that there was something...familiar about @heartmaster027. We looked at their personal page. Aww, heck! It turned out that @heartmaster027 was our cardiologist.

Awkward.

The Israeli invasion of Gaza will have unexpected consequences for decades to come!

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Moments Before The Ruling, Police Sweep Moscow Gay Bars And Clubs
"What?" One Officer Commented, "We're Just Trying To Be Proactive!"

Russia's Supreme Court has effectively outlawed LGBTQ activism, calling the "movement" extremist, in a ruling which Amnesty International warned could lead to a blanket ban on LGBTQ organizations, violate freedom of association expression and peaceful assembly, and lead to discrimination.

"Only if we're lucky," Russian Premier Vladimir Putin sighed wistfully.

SOURCE: Demi-TASS

[http://en.demi-tass.com/russia/744361]
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Is That A Mask On Your Face, Or Are You Just Happy Not To Breath Me?

In 2022, for the third year in a row, Canadian life expectancy declined. This was due to an increase in cancer, heart disease and COVID-19, where more people died than in the first year of the pandemic. The COVID deaths were - cough - excuse me. The COVID deaths were concentrated - cough, cough - oh, dear. Excuse me! Seniors. Concentrated in - hack! - over ninety per cent of pandemic - cough! Cough! Hack - ninety - aaaaaach - over sixty-fi - cough cough cough cough hacccccckkkkk!

Umm...I think I need to see my doctor.

SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler

[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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He Will Be Fondly Remembered By Connoisseurs Of Evil As Dick Cheney's Padawan

Hell-a-vision
midnight to 6am
Burn in Hell, With George Wallace

For the first time in the show's history, Burn in Hell welcomes a guest so special that it will devote an entire week to him: Henry Kissinger. On Monday, George will exchange jokes with Henry about how he sabotaged peace talks with Vietnam, extending the Napalming that would ultimately take two million lives.

On Tuesday, Henry will share amusing anecdotes about America's undeclared war against Cambodia, the carpet-bombing of which cost hundreds of thousands of people their lives.

On Wednesday, Henry will discuss the coup he helped orchestrate in Chile, installing the violently oppressive regime of Augusto Pinochet. Viewers will be surprised at how delightful stories of tens of thousands of people being "disappeared" can be!

On Thursday, the laughs abound as Henry describes turning a blind eye to the illegal Indonesian occupation of East Timor, resulting in at least a quarter of a million deaths.

On Friday, Henry will share his greatest hits, from, "The illegal we do immediately; the unconstitutional takes a little longer," to "If it were not for the accident of my birth, I would be antisemitic... Any people who has been persecuted for two thousand years must be doing something wrong." Long-time fans will be pleased.

It will be a Hell of a week!

SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide

[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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In Public Health, As In Comedy, The Key I - TIMING!

"Four city-run vaccination clinics to close Dec. 13" - Toronto Star

"COVID-19 on the rise in province, data shows
Chance of infection 'very high' amid resurgence in virus" - Toronto Star

SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1376676038]
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A New Day Dawns
A Bleak, Dark Day, But New Nonetheless, And That's Gotta Count For Something...

Sandra Day O'Connor, the first woman to sit on the Supreme Court, has died at the age of 93, likely of Alzheimer's Disease. There ain't no justice.

SOURCE: Obits 'R Us

[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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By The Time Provincial Governments Have Their Way, The Only People Who Will Be Covered By The Federal Government's Clean Energy Legislation Are An Elderly Couple In Chicoutimi (Hi Louis And Louise! Please Cut Your Carbon Emissions By 2,027 Tons By Next Tuesday, Will You?)

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith says next week she will reveal details of her threat to invoke her government's sovereignty act over federal clean energy regulations. Carbon capture just isn't going to cut it.

"I have to tell you that I didn't want to do this. I really did, from the very first conversation I had with [Prime Minister] Justin Trudeau. I wanted to work with him on this. We put it together, the table with the negotiators so we could find common ground," Smith said. "The uncomfortable truth that the industry needs to come to terms with is that successful clean energy transitions require much lower demand for oil and gas, which means scaling back oil and gas operations over time - not expanding them," Birol said.

SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups

[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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Money Speaks Its Own Language - If You're Not Fluent, You're Sure To Miss The Nuances

2,000 years of animosity) When will we find out that Abandon Biden, a group claiming to represent Muslims opposed to the Democratic President's position on the Israeli destruction of Gaza, is funded by right-wing billionaires? a) before the 2024 election
b) after the 2024 election
c) just because money is speech doesn't mean that it's talking to you!

2001, a space outrage) How will Muslims be better off if Donald Trump regains the presidency? a) they won't have to worry about the rat race when they are herded into government funded interment camps
b) they won't have to worry about Islamophobia when they are deported to...somewhere else...probably...depending
c) they won't have to worry about the burdens of existence when they are accused of being terrorists and executed by posses of concerned citizens
d) all of the above

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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