May I Not Quote You?

The Founding Fathers And Jesus Are In A Race To See Who Weeps First

"See, we are the first nation in the history of the world that acknowledged our rights do not derive from government, they come from God... You see those words up there? It says, 'In God we trust...' We're different. We're distinct. We're exceptional, because we acknowledge that right there." - Speaker Mike Johnson

Privatization Of Public Goods Is The Fine You Pay For The Crime Of Swallowing Right-wing Propaganda

"...income tax is the fine you pay for the crime of working hard." - Pierre Poilievre

As Right As You Are About Anything You Say...

"They keep saying, 'Why isn't he doing deals?' Because the paper is better than any deal we can make. Do you understand? ... Am I right when I say I really don't want deals I just want the paper to get sent?" - President Donald Trump

Have You Ever Seen A Man Whose Brain Wanted To Stuff His Mouth With Toilet Paper?

"Trump's instincts are uncanny. When he says this is the direction I want to go, our job is not to spend the whole day trying to change his mind...Our job is to execute on the President's vision based on really uncanny instincts." - Secretary of State Marco Rubio

"I Know That Because The President Nodded At Me Before He Teed Off On The Sixth Hole, And His Nods Contain Volumes. In Fact, His Nods Are Far More Eloquent Than His Speeches..."

"I know that President Trump is absolutely heartbroken by what has happened here in Texas and the loss of life is absolutely devastating to him and Melania. He wanted to make sure that all of you know how much he loves Texas, how much he's grieving for your families." - Kristi Noem

 Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
We're Doomed

"I wish I had known the refund policy before buying myself a president." - Elon Musk

Because You've Never Been There?

"And we are putting up wind. It does not work, aside from ruining our fields and valleys and killing all the birds. Being very weak and expensive, all made in China. I have never seen a wind farm in China. Why is that?" - President Donald Trump

If Self-awareness Was A Space Program, Your Rockets Would Blow Up BELOW The Launch Pad

"Hunter Biden magically became a businessman when his father took office. He was paid by foreign companies to peddle influence and influence American policy." @Ronxyz00 - not President Donald Trump, Jr.

You Wanted To Be Secretary Of State Really Badly, Didn't You? Like, REALLY Badly!

"President Trump has made deals his entire life. He's not going to get suckered into a deal that's not a real deal." - Secretary of State Marco Rubio responds to Volodymyr Zelenskyy's argument that Putin can't be trusted in negotiations.

What, That? That's Sooooooooo Yesterday!

"Seriously, we need to release the Epstein list." - Vice President JD Vance

Would Those Be Sketches Of Concepts Of Deals Or Sketches Of Ideas Of Deals?

"The thing about Prsident Trump is he became one of the most successful if not the most successful businessman in the 20th century because he was able to squeeze everything out of every deal that he made...he's seen some sketches of deals." - Kevin Hassett

"...For Somebody Who Is Dying..."

"I know that many in the media have been speculating about bruising on the president's hand and also swelling in the president's legs. In the effort of transparency, the president wanted me to share a note from his physician ... all results were within normal limits." - Karoline Leavitt

Boy, That Sure Aged Better Than Trump's Legs!

"Part of why Kamala is getting so much support is that, if Trump wins, that Epstein client list is going to become public. And some of those billionaires behind Kamala are terrified of that outcome." - Elon Musk to Tucker Carlson in October, 2024

The Paroxysms Of The Trump Administration Over The Epstein Files Are A Difficult Thing To Watch
Unless You're Not Part Of The Cult, In Which Case PUT THE POPCORN ON THE BURNER AND GET OUT THE BUTTER!

"'If you talk about this, I'm gonna excommunicate you.' Well, you're not the pope bro... When Trump starts behaving like that, it starts getting into cult territory. I'm not in this cult. This is starting to become cult like language." - Alex Jones

And I Will Continue To Hold That Conviction As Long As I Don't Have To Vote For It

"I think it may be a little difficult to believe the idea that DOJ and the FBI … don't have any idea who Epstein's clients were." - Josh Hawley

 Anything Taken In Too Large Quantities Can Be Lethal
Lee Zeldin Quotes, For Example...

"They say that climate change endangers public health. You have many on the left who will say carbon dioxide is a pollutant, and they won't talk about the all of the many reasons why carbon dioxide is actually quite essential for life here on our planet." - Lee Zeldin, Environmental Protection Agency Administrator

 So, You're Saying Leopards...Ate The Faces Of Your Work Force?
Who Could Possibly Have Seen That One Coming?

"We voted for Trump to fix the border. Now we're milking cows alone at 4am. We didn't think they'd come for the people who help us milk cows. Locals just don't want to do this work anymore!" - Dustin Machia, fifth generation dairy farmer

"Not My Back, Obviously. I've Had A Cushy Life, All Things Considered. I Was Using The Royal 'Our...'

"If they can't imprison you, they bankrupt you. My legal bills topped a million. Yours were probably over two. Rudy went bankrupt. This is lawfare run by people who want open borders, offshored jobs, and a world built on our backs." - Peter Navarro

"We Have Our Own Disasters To Worry About - Have You Seen The Latest News On The Epstein Files?"

"We as a federal government don't manage these disasters. The state does." - Kristi Noem