Thank you, Pebbles and Glam Glam, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we decided, with much regret, to cancel our trip to Buffalo to visit our aunt Gladys-Melpomene. It's not that she's burst too many of our blood vessels with her pinching, or that her rigid ideas about gender roles make even the cisest of us squirm in our tight jeans. It's because Trump's America is no longer safe for visitors. Yeah, that's it. Trump's policies are keeping us from heading south from Canada. Sorry, Auntie. We're sure we'll see you again...when the United States returns to being a representative democracy...
Enjoy,Trump Brings Bibi Gun To Knife Fight
Donald J. TrumpIt is terrible what they are doing in Israel to Bibi Netanyahu.1 He is a War Hero, and a Prime Minister who did a fabulous job working with the United States2 to bring Great Success in getting rid of the dangerous Nuclear threat in Iran.3 Importantly, he is right now in the process of negotiating a Deal with Hamas, which will include getting the Hostages back.4 How is it possible that the Prime Minister of Israel can be forced to sit in a Courtroom all day long, over NOTHING (Cigars, Bugs Bunny Doll, etc.). It is a POLITICAL WITCH HUNT,5 very similar to the Witch Hunt that I was forced to endure.6 This travesty of "Justice"7 will interfere with both Iran and Hamas negotiations. In other words, it is INSANITY doing what the out-of-control prosecutors are doing to Bibi Netanyahu.8 The United States of America spends Billions of Dollar a year, far more than on any other Nation, protecting and supporting Israel. We are not going to stand for this.9 We just had a Great Victory with Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu at the helm - And this greatly tarnishes our Victory. LET BIBI GO, HE'S GOT A BIG JOB TO DO!10
Notes
1. He says such nice things about me - he must be the world's best leader! I mean, second best, obviously...SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1099&dir=bb]
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Profile in Discourage
Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski, everybody, whose vote on the Big, Huge, Really Very Extensive, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Dishy Bill...Bill...Bill would either sink it or swim it. She claims she struggled mightily with the decision. She binge-ate Hawaiian pizza and deep-fried turkey stuffing. She bit her nails so much she's going to have to have implants to replace them (fortunately, her aides can type letters of concern about Trump policies at her dictation until the operation). See the lines on her face? She's only 23 years old! Yes, Murkowski clearly had a very difficult time deciding how to vote on the bill.
And then, she made the wrong choice.
When Murkowski says she had to look at the balance of interests, what was she referring to? Whether the short-term carve outs in the bill...bill...bill targeted to benefit Alaska were worth the long term suffering of everybody else in the country. The very public answer she gave amounted to: "Y'all on yer own, now."
That's brave, I...guess?
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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So Cynical! Did The People Who Write The Report Know That Bodacious EFTs Won AN AVN Award For Best Direction Of An Orgy?
A Canadian report claims that businesses associated with the porn industry are using Canadian payment services to transfer money overseas, going around sanctions imposed on Russia by Western countries.
"It should have been obvious," the report says, "from films with titles like Bodacious EFTS and FinTRAC Takes It Up the Butt that something was going on!"
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=67ddccd7-f6f3-4b2b-9f25-a2eb4cc6a306]
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Conservative Leader Admits To Lacking Imagination
More than 17,500 foreigners have had their criminal convictions forgiven by the Immigration Department in the last 11 years, removing a bar to coming to Canada and igniting transparency concerns.
"How can we run attack ads against the Liberal Party if we don't know how bad the crimes immigrants they're letting into the country are?" Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre demanded. When his salivating short-circuited the microphone he was speaking into, he continued by shouting: "I - I mean, Canadians have a right to know how unsafe Liberal policies are making their streets! They want details! All the harrowing, blood-curdling details! Rowrf!"
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20250627.eladvote0627_@/BNStory/newsOops2025/]
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Are you a journalist who wishes there was something you could do to circumvent Donald Trump's rants about refrigerators in the ocean, or making Canada the 51st state, or how windmills will be the cause of the extinction of birds or why he deserves to win 27 Nobel Peace Prizes (it has something to do with the war between Erehwon and Wonderland), or all of these subjects at once? Well, now there is!
Carney-in-a-Box is distillation of the technique of Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney at shutting down a press conference where Trump threatens to bloviate. Simply push the red button on the top, and Carney's voice will ring out, "That concludes our press availability for today. Thank you all for coming."
"At first, I was skeptical," admitted Alternate Reality News Service National Politics reporter Francis Grecoromacolluden. "But when I saw how fast the journalists emptied the room the first time I used it, I became a true believer. Thank you, Carney-in-a-Box!"
Carney-in-a-Box, starting at $197.99, because isn't your peace of mind worth it?
SOURCE: Farcebook Salesplace
[https://www.farcebook.com/salesplace/item/701358842710777/]
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