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Enjoy,Why is MAGA turning against Donald Trump for claiming that there are no Epstein files to release? Because it's a cult, and the cult leader has just renounced a basic tenet of the faith. It would be like Jesus saying, "You know what? All that stuff I said about loving the immigrant and doing unto others as you would have them do unto you? That's nonsense. Anybody who believes that is a moron, and I don't want you as a follower."
Come to think of it, many Trump followers already believe Jesus said that...
SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills
[http://bill.geekgoons.com/]
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When Irish Eyes Stop Smiling, Watch Out
4gotten and 4lorn) Israel has threatened Ireland with "paying the price" if it bans imports from occupied territories. What price would that be?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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EXT. BACKYARD – DAY
Ten police officers are standing around a tall tree, looking high up into its branches. Long pause.
BILL: We could always chop it down.
BOB: That sounds like work.
BILL: Don't be so modest – you're young...ish. And fit...for somebody your age. You'll be able to do it in no time.
BOB: Why do I always have to do these things? Why don't you do it?
BILL: Because I outrank you.
BOB: Only by three and a half minutes!
BEELZEBUB: (plaintive) Meow!
Long pause.
BRYAN: What about getting a ladder?
BILL: Again with this ladder business! Look: I've already told you: I get vertigo whenever I have to climb more than two stairs and Bob – here, a solid officer and the kind of person you would choose to salt the Earth with – Bob suffers from intense irritable knee syndrome. A ladder is of no use to us!
BOB: Yeah! Wait! If that's the case, how could I –
BRYAN: (over Bob, cutting him off) What about me or one of the other lads?
BILL: (sneers) You're support staff! You're here to support! To bring us coffee and wipe the sweat off our brows when we've cut open a patient's chest and make sure the paperwork – ha! Paperwork! Another reason I dread using a ladder! – is filed on time. It's not to get in our way when we're trying to make an important strategic decision!
BOB: (thoughtful) We could always blow up the tree...
BEELZEBUB: (angry) Meow!
BILL: There you go! That's just the kind of out of the box, across the hall to the bathroom and ten minutes on the throne thinking that the modern police department excels at!
BRYAN: That will kill the cat we were sent here to rescue!
BILL: Naah. It'll land on its feet.
BRYAN: Maybe its feet will land on their feet. But its spleen will land over there on its spleen. And its lower intestines will land three feet away on its lower –
BEELZEBUB: (outraged) MEOW!
Long pause.
BOB: Well, I guess we'll just have to shoot the cat, then.
BRYAN: But our mission is to save it!
BOB: I'll do my best to wing it.
BRYAN: Cats don't have –
Bob unholsters his gun and aims it in the vague direction of the top of the tree. With a screech, a cat jumps out of the tree and lands on his face.
BOB: (shrieking) Aaaah! Get it off! Get it off!
Bob falls over backwards, landing awkwardly on his back. His gun goes flying, firing when it hits the ground and hitting a nearby officer in the shoulder.
NEARBY OFFICER (BEN): Hey!
BOB: It burns! It burns!
Satisfied, Beelzebub hops off Bob's face and casually saunters out of the yard.
BRYAN: (turns to speak directly to the camera) And this, children, is why it's a bad idea to overfund the police.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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Is It Any Wonder Economics Is Known As "The Dismal Science?"
Donald Trump may not have reduced the price of gasoline. Or tomatoes. Or beer. But, hey, airline fares are down. As are hotel and motel prices. That's good news, right?
Well, no, actually: the reason airfares and hotel prices are down is because tourism is tanking. When demand for a product goes down, the price has to be lowered to a point where people want to buy it.
Since the President is keen on bringing manufacturing back to the United States, perhaps he could find a way to manufacture hundreds of thousands of tourists.
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB113413397491118404,00.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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Will The Heads Be Animated Or Live Action?
The live action version of How to Train Your Ocelet has had mixed reviews. One common criticism of the film is that the animated version had only been out for three days.
"That was clearly a mistake," admitted Disney CEO Bob Iger. "The live action film was supposed to be released no more than two minutes after the cartoon to capitalize on its popularity. Heads are going to roll for this!"
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt0147050/]
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Does Israel Know About This?
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=2467464647]
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