Thank you, Halibut Justa Fish, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, 365 supporters of Palestine Action were arrested at a protest of the British government's designation of the group as a terrorist organization. And we thought, 365? That's a familiar number. 365...365...365 - the number of episodes of The Simpsons that we still have to binge watch? No. We mean, yes, but that's not relevant here. One step on the road to the Number of the Beast? No, that's a given for any number up to 665. Then, we snapped our brain fingers (giving ourselves a mild case of brain freeze without the joy of having tasty tasty ice cream); of course! We need to have a calendar where each day features the image and story of a different arrestee!
Phew! Supporting the revolution is hard work! If you'll excuse us, we're going to get some tasty tasty ice cream. We mean, since we have the headache anyway...
Enjoy,The Art Of The Gleffibinusht - REVEALED!
THE UNITED STATES: We've completed a peace deal. You give Russia some of your land and you get peace. Pretty good deal, don't you think?
UKRAINE: No. We had that deal in Crimea. Russia just waited a decade and attacked us again to get more of our land. They must not be rewarded for their aggression.
THE UNITED STATES: Fine. You're responsible for continuing the war because you're not negotiating.
UKRAINE: You're not negotiating - you're dictating terms.
THE UNITED: Sheesh! The ingratitude of some people!
Six months later:
THE UNITED STATES: We've completed a peace deal. You give Russia some of your land and you agree not to join NATO. If you do that, then you'll get peace.
UKRAINE: So, now you want us to give up land and not pursue one of the only ways of protecting ourselves from future attacks? If I could, I would say no twice.
THE UNITED STATES: If you want a peace deal, you'll have to make some concessions.
UKRAINE: What concessions is Russia making?
THE UNITED STATES: You really don't understand how negotiating works, do you?
Six months after that:
THE UNITED STATES: We've completed a peace deal. You give Russia some of your land, agree not to join NATO and give Vladimir Putin a gold-plated electric coffee maker that he can keep after he leaves office.
UKRAINE: Why do you keep adding conditions when I haven't agreed to the ones you previously stated?
THE UNITED STATES: That's how you negotiate.
UKRAINE: No, that's how one country dictates and the other country capitulates.
THE UNITED STATES: (sighs) What have you got against peace?
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1107&dir=bb]
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When It Comes To Arguing With Them, I Always Take WOPR's Advice
The Seven Stages of Griefers:
1. What's your source for that information?SOURCE: Michelle's Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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Search And Destroy For Seven Year-olds, Fun For The Whole Manson Family!
Martin HandoverfistA political mystery wrapped in a puzzle book inside a moral enigma. With colourful pictures.
President Donald Trump gets on the phone with his good friend Greg Abbott, Governor of Texas. He says, "We need five more seats to shore up our majority in the House." Abbott goes, "Yes, we certainly do." "You could help make that happen," President Trump prompts. "I will certainly campaign as hard as I can for all of the Republican candidates in the state," Governor Abbott responds. Slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand, the President continues: "No, Greg, I need you to alter the boundaries of the congressional districts so the Democrats can no longer win a seat in the state." "You mean...gerrymander the map?" "I don't know who this Jerry is, but yeah, you get the idea. Good man."
When Democratic state legislators get wind of the plan, they flee the state to other places in the country. Where's Texas Democrats? features two-page images of lively street scenes; embedded within each image is one or more of the runaway Democrats. Can you find them all? Given that returning them to Texas would help national Republicans cement majority rule, would you even want to?
SOURCE: Unread Book News
URL
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On Message And Off His Rocker
A Georgia man opened fire on the headquarters of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, killing a police officer before being killed himself. He was armed with five guns, including at least one long gun, because this is America, motherfusker, and we have the Second Amendment right to carry bazookas if we want, so it's not like he was too heavily armed for a civilian, okay‽
Ahem. Okay.
Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. immediately responded to the shooting with the comforting news that the officer was not killed by the bullets, but was, in fact, killed by the COVID-19 vaccine he was given in 2020.
"We know that COVID-related deaths are under-reported because they often appear to have other causes," Secretary Jr. stated. "This is a very egregious example of that..."
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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"Not That Anybody Is Going To Come After President Trump," The Speaker Hastily Added. "He's Going To Rule For As Long As He...He...As Long As He Wan - How Much Trouble Am I In?"
The House of Representatives has voted to allow Donald Trump to keep the $400 million plane that Qatar has gifted to the United States. In justifying the vote, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson said, "Have you seen that thing? It's like somebody drank in too much Las Vegas and threw it up all over the inside of the plane. Trust me, no president who comes after him would ever want anything so...gaudy doesn't even begin to describe it. Letting President Trump take it with him when he leaves is a mercy for them, really."
SOURCE: The Hill You Die On
[https://thehillyoudieon.com/homenews/administration/448846-as-plane-as-the-nose-on-your-face]
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