The Daily Me - Anne of Clark Gables

Thank you, Anne of Clark Gables, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we spared a thought for hard-working evangelical preachers throughout North America. If they aren't advocating for Israel's genocidal war in Gaza, they're promoting rounding up and deporting all the immigrants the government can find. As if railing against trans people wasn't a full time job, some of them have now taken the position that women should lose the right to vote (that's what husbands are for!). Given the volume of their political commitments, it should come as no surprise that evangelical preachers have no time to actually read scripture...

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Is That A Fact Check In Your Pocket, Or You Just Unhappy To See Me?

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

We're having a News Conference tomorrow in the White House.1 I'm going to make our Capital safer and more beautiful than it ever was.2 The Homeless have to move out, IMMEDIATELY. We will give you places to stay, but FAR from the Capital.3 The Criminals, you don't have to move out. We're going to put you in jail where you belong.4 It's all going to happen very fast, just like the Border. We went from millions pouring in, to ZERO in the last few months.5 This will be easier - Be prepared! There will be no "MR. NICE GUY."6 We want our Capital BACK.7 Thank you for your attention to this matter!

NOTES

1. "There won't be any real news made there, but just calling it a conference makes it sound academic, and I don't want to be associated with any of those woke institutions!"
2. You're planning gold-lined streets, aren't you?
3. Will those places involve alligators? I'm not sure that's a good substitute for DC's rats...
4. "Except for the ones I pardon. You wouldn't happen to have a million dollars lying around to donate to a good cause, would you?"
5. "And those numbers haven't been audited by anybody in the Deep States, so you know they're real!"
6. Was there ever? More like "MR. ICE GUY!"
7. You don't seem to have any problem with capitals, ACTUALLY. Have you never heard of Strunk and White?

SOURCE: Politics For Dummies

[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=1108&dir=bb]
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Communicable Diseases Thank You For Your Service

"Brown follows Ford's lead on remote work
Brampton mayor say all city workers must return to the office by January" - Toronto Star

 "Canada has highest number of measles cases on continent
WHO urges action to improve vaccination rates" - Toronto Star

SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1096271538]
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Peace In The Middle East? Netanyahu Life!

According to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, images of Gaza's completely flat landscape aren't the result of Israeli airstrikes, artillery and systematic bulldozer operations. No, Hamas booby traps are responsible...for Israeli airstrikes, artillery and bulldozer operations.

Thanks for the update, Bennie.

Who believes anything Netanyahu says any more? He clearly doesn't - he's just marking time until he can go for lunch...or possibly until the prosecutor waiting for him to stop being Prime Minister so he can be tried for his crimes loses interest. Or retires. Or drops dead. No option, as they say, is off the table.

Pundits at pro-Israel think tanks don't believe what he says. The tell is the way they sigh heavily before lauding the Prime Minister for his "moral clarity."

Media outlets that breathlessly report on his every word as though it is gospel don't have to believe what he says; the fact that he says it makes it newsworthy, regardless of its proximity to truth.

You might wonder why everybody goes along with this cynical charade. Because suburban Jewish supporters of Israel in North America, they believe every word the Prime Minister says. And sometimes you just have to listen to the will of the people...

SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism

[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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The "That's What I Would Have Done" Was In The Subtext

Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents "detained" (it's what the cool kids are calling "kidnapped" these days) a high school student while he was out walking his dog. As they hustled the boy into their van, they let the dog run loose in traffic.

"It could have been worse," Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem commented. "They could have shot the dog in the face!"

SOURCE: The Hill You Die On

[https://thehillyoudieon.com/homenews/administration/448847-a-noem-you-definitely-dont-want-in-your-garden]
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If Only He Had Been Taught That Silence Is Golden!

666) President Donald Trump on Russian President Vladimir Putin: "We had an extremely productive meeting. Many points were agreed to. There are just a very few that are left. Some are not that significant. One is probably the most significant. We have a very good chance of getting there. We didn't get there, but we have a good shot of getting there." Where were they going? a) Capistrano for the swallows
b) Hell for the handbaskets
c) President Trump doesn't know and President Putin isn't telling

 666, Jr.) Before the meeting, President Trump said: "Russia has a very valuable piece of land...It's a warring nation. That's what they do, they fight a lot of wars. A friend of mine said Russia's tough because they just keep on fighting. They beat Hitler, so did we, and they beat Napoleon. They've been doing this for a long time...I said 'So can Russia be beaten by Ukraine?' He looked at me like what a stupid question. He said 'Russia's a massive country. And they win their country and they win their life through wars. They fight wars, that's what they do.' ...I expect to have a meeting with Putin that I think it will be good, but it might be bad." Can you make sense of what he as saying? a) he seems to be saying, "I can say anything I want to and nobody is going to challenge me, are they? Honestly, I'm just stringing random garburator expat flatulence together, and nobody says, 'Boo!' Not even the ghost who lives in the Tupperware in the White House kitchen! Honestly, I would quit and let Jaydee take over - you know he wants to! - if I wasn't making so much money. And didn't have to worry about going to jail..."
b) he seems to be saying, "You know, I can say any nonsense I want, and the press will report on it like every word was plated in gold. Don't shark antipasto phalanges? You know it! Don't let anybody tell you otherwise - this is power!"
c) can anybody?

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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