In President Donald Trump's first term, there were adults in the room. So, when he said, "The sun is purple," there were people around him who would take him aside and explain how light works.
In his second term, Trump has surrounded himself with people whose professional careers depend upon not pissing off their boss. You know: the guy with skin so thin they can see his back when he's facing them? So, when he says the sun is purple, they say things like, "I've always wanted to live under a psychedelic sun!" and "Aside from blue, red and yellow, purple is my favourite colour!" and "Damn straight! It's time somebody stood up to Big Atmospheric Science!"
In Trump's first term, we had to get used to the President lying all the time. Eight months into his second term, we still haven't come to terms (hee hee - see what I did, there?) with an entire administration that lies.
At the best of times, Trump's train of thought enters frequent wormholes that transport it to the other side of mountains, the bottom of lakes or Venus. But now he has White House spokesghoul Stephen Miller to clarify what he means to say. Having been to Los Angeles, I wasn't afraid to walk down the streets, but I was just a tourist; maybe if I had lived there, I would have needed a body guard. And who wears watches any more? Miller is worse than lying: he's out of touch!
Then there's Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem telling a whopper of a story about a cannibal detained by ICE. Not a Burger King Whopper, of course, because that would be in bad taste in this context. How can we be sure that this never happened? If it had, the next day the White House would have released a video showing the man gnawing on his own arm while masked men offered him mustard and ketchup.
When Trump is no longer President, Noem can be comforted by the fact that she will always have a job as a scenarist for Eli Roth.
Or, and I just throw this out for the sake of argument, people are calling President Trump a dictator because HE REGULARLY HANGS OUT WITH DICTATORS, PRAISES DICTATORS, MUSES ABOUT BEING A DICTATOR AND CONSOLIDATES POWER AROUND HIMSELF JUST LIKE A DICTATOR! As for being tough, have you seen him around an experienced dictator like Vladimir Putin? He's about as tough as a feather rainfall. This train doesn't stop at Dishonesty Station - it's a non-stop joyride to Delusion Junction!
Fortunately, he has people like Vice President JD "Just Dandy" Vance to set the record straight on mass shootings for him. "Nobody in the world has better mental health crises than the United States of America. We are mentally sicker, weaker and more dependant on drugs than any other nation in the world!" That's the kind of uplifting message MAGAts voted for. In order to avoid addressing the inconvenient fact that the Trump administration has been cutting funding for programs that support people with mental health issues, the Veep reached so fast for prayers that he didn't even have the time to mention thoughts!
Bolstering VP JD (Jumbalaya Dichotomy)'s argument, White House Girl Next Door Karoline Leavitt claimed that anybody who criticized "thoughts and prayers" as a response to mass shootings was attacking the millions of Christians who believe in prayer. She may not have noticed that decades of thoughts and prayers haven't stopped the carnage. Or she may believe that God works in mysterious ways, and who are we to complain about him not lifting a finger (which, remember, contained ten plagues at the Sea) to save school children? It's all part of the plan. Live the plan. Love the plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah the plan. Or, and I'm just spitballing here, THIS IS A CYNICAL ATTACK ON PEOPLE WHO ARE GENUINELY CONCERNED ABOUT GUN VIOLENCE BY A REPRESENTATIVE OF A GOVERNMENT THAT IS AN ARM OF THE GUN LOBBY! THAT'S ELEVENTY BILLION PLAGUES AT THE SEA!
Sorry for shouting. This is an emotional issue for all of us.
Nothing says "I'm not a racist" more than using a racist trope to prove you're not a racist. At this point, the crazy train is chasing its own caboose (nobody knows what will happen if it catches it, but odds are it won't be good). As for stopping three wars - last week it was 10 and the week before that it was seven. In fact, only one war appears to have been stopped, and the leaders of both sides said that Trump had nothing to do with it. When his term of office is over, perhaps Trump should move to Oslo. You know what they say: "If you can gaslight them there, you can gaslight them anywhere..."
Is that...? Yes! Yes, Kristi Noem is back! Hi, Kristi! Did you know that nothing says "I'm not a racist" more than using a racist trope to prove you're not a racist? I read that somewhere. The only skin colour left on her list was "white," not "normal." To suggest that white is normal (implying all other colours are not normal) is...kinda what you're trying to deny. But then again, if the sun is purple, white skin actually reads as lilac, so maaaaaaaaaybe you have a point...
Actually, most of America's NATO allies respond to President Trump by doubling over with laughter, but if Speaker of the House Mike Johnson wants to portray it as bowing respectfully... Donald Trump has given Vladimir Putin several opportunities to make peace; the Russian strongman has ignored all of them. Donald Trump has given Benjamin Netanyahu several peace plans; the Israeli strongman has ignored all of them. Impotence is strength? Only in Trump's America...and Oceania.
And we haven't even got to Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. lying about vaccines, or Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent lying about tariffs or Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth lying about American military strikes on foreign targets or - I could go on, but you get the point. Daniel Dale might find his job easier if he starts keeping a count of how many times anybody in the Trump administration tells the truth!
