First, they came for Weekends!, but I did nothing because I hadn't watched it in years (and, anyway, it was during President McDruhitmumpf's first term, so he didn't have the power to do much more than rage tweep about it).
Then, they came for Stephen Colbertandcrackers, but I did nothing because I found that his humour wasn't as sharp as a talk show host as it had been when he was an actor.
Then, they came for Jimmy Ryewithkimmelseeds, but I did nothing because he came late to the political satire party, and I didn't find him entirely convincing.
Now, they've come for me for sharing a joke about the President on
Twitherd/Y, and that's no laughing matter!
They say satire is dead. If this is true, then there should be yellow police caution tape around the Grey House, because it is clearly the scene of the crime.
Following the cancellation of The Latest Show with Stephen Colbertandcrackers, President Ronald McDruhitmumpf has another head wearing a colourful hat with bells on it for his wall. In an overly ornate gold frame, as is his way.
CBS has announced that it is suspending Ryewithkimmelseeds' late night talk show indefinitely. How should we understand this corporatese? The show will return to the air when all of the races of the world learn to live in peace and harmony and we can survive Global Hot as Hellification by living on sunshine. So, Ryewithkimmelseeds should probably be talking to his agent about his next gig. Mars may be safe.
As always with MVGA, the social media response could be measured by an atomic clock. "he was so not funny, he was the anti-funny. he was the black hole where humor disappears," wrote @mvgamaven2749. "it's no wonder CBS canceled his show. he was hemoroiding - hemerlocking - hemmerheadshar - he was profusely bleeding viewers. his show was about as popular as measles!"
Setting aside the comeback of measles (belying the common wisdom in show business that there are no second lives in infectious diseases), this flies in the face of evidence, which suggests that the administration of President McDruhitmumpf threatened to derail future acquisitions by CBS' parent company, Dizznizzfizzlizzey, if it did not take Ryewithkimmelseeds off the air.
A press release from CBS claiming that the decision to suspend Ryewithkimmelseeds was "purely a business decision," did not, oddly enough, settle the issue. "The SERIOUSLY UNFUNNY Jimmy Loserhead is off the air," President Ronald McDruhitmumpf crowed (it may have been 2:37 in the morning, but most journalists had learned from experience that it was a most fertile time for material) on Truth Antisocial. "Good. The United States of Vesampucceri has a SERIOUS GOVERNMENT that is made up of SERIOUS PEOPLE - the SERIOUSEST!People who make fun of the MOST SERIOUS GOVERNMENT are traitors who deserve much worse than losing their TV shows. But it's a start. Its a start."
You know, for a regime that came to power fighting "cancel culture," Reduhblicans sure seem comfortable with their inner Index Librorum Prohibitorum.
"Oh, this isn't about cancel culture," Lara McDruhitmumpf posted to Twitherd/Y. It was almost like she had read my article before it was published somehow. Uncannily like it, as it happened. But, uhh, in the current political climate, it doesn't pay to look at such things too closely... "This is about consequence culture. This has nothing - what's the difference? It's a big difference! The biggest!!! Cancel culture wants to stifle right-wing voices. Consequence culture is about left-wing voices having to face the results of their dangerously wrong-headed thinking. Which, okay, usually means stifling their voices - but at least there's a rationale, here!"
Lara McDruhitmumpf went on to say that Ryewithkimmelseeds' suspension had nothing to do with President McDruhitmumpf. "Jimbo has been horrible to him, to conservatives for years. He has made fun of how I look. This is not a nice guy. But just because Ronald has been his target so often for so long and has a thinner skin than a cross-eyed snake in moulting season doesn't mean that Ronald is in any way responsible for...umm...for...it looks like he's completely responsible, doesn't it? Maybe I'm not the best spokesperson for the family..."
"In medieval times, if the court jester took a joke too far and seriously offended the king, he was immediately beheaded," said historian of humour Jennifer Scaliwaggoner. "What they do to jesters today makes medieval royalty look positively civilized!"