Thank you, Saliva P. Grande, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we wondered why people in movies hold their hand up to the sun and look at it. Do they think this is a way you can look at a solar eclipse safely? (PRO TIP: it isn't.) Sure, people do this in real life all the time: who can forget the viral video of a few years back of a woman walking into a mall fountain while staring at the back of her hand? Maybe she was wondering where the sun was. (PRO TIP: not in the mall.) Still, it seems pretentious when you see it in a movie. To change things up, why don't characters hold up a different part of their anatomy to analyze, like...their elbows? Yes, elbows have been overlooked as an anatomical feature of contemplation for too long!
Think about it. Elbows up.
Enjoy,Big Ambitions, Small Johnson
Well, will you look at good Christian Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House of Representatives, no less, bearing false witness all over the place. He approaches belief like an all you can pray buffet, picking and choosing which commandments to pile high on his plate and which to leave for other people to consume.
Republicans have nothing to twist or spin? The Speaker spins so fast (starting with this very pronouncement) that it's a wonder he doesn't get dizzy and fall down whenever he steps up to a microphone!
I don't know which is worse: the disdain with which he speaks about the left before the No Kings Rally, or the disappointment with which he speaks about it after. It's not hard to see what he was thinking: Would it have killed just one of the seven million protesters on the streets of the country to throw a Molotov cocktail at a storefront? Is that really so much to ask? Three of you could have overturned a police car and set it on fire. The ensuing police overreaction would have been so worth it to maintain my talking point about the violence of the left! But nooooooooo! You had to be...peaceful! Bastards!
Judge not lest ye be judged? That's a part of the Christian buffet Speaker Johnson is obviously allergic to.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Can I Be A Slave To The Rhythm Instead?
Red Pill Dispenser @redpilldispensrRFK Jr: Within five years, satellites belonging to Bill Gates "will be able to look at every square inch of the planet 24 hours a day."1
"They're putting in 5G to harvest our data2 and control our behaviour.3 Digital currency4 that will allow them to punish us from a distance and cut off our food supply."5
"It will make you a slave."6
NOTES
1. Have you never heard of Google Earth?SOURCE: Narcissism For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/satirefordummies/narcissismfordummies/home.asp?did=507&dir=bb]
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Why Is There Never An "Other" Choice When You Need One?
1 for the ages) Ontario has announced that it is planning on centralizing control over conservation authorities under a new provincial agency and streamlining development approvals. Conservative Environment, Conservation and Parks Minister Todd McCarthy said, "They will ensure faster, more transparent permitting and more front line services so that we can reduce delays to get shovels in the ground sooner." What could possibly go wrong?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Regardless Of The Pill's Colour
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson said: "Just think of what's been accomplished: We strengthened medicaid. We improved health care access and we lowered premiums with our legislation."
Are you on crack? I mean, props for you sticking with a drug so retro nobody under the age of 40 has any idea what it is, I guess. Still. Only somebody speaking from another reality could make such claims with a straight face.
With your legislation, premiums for health insurance will skyrocket for millions of Americans, many of whom will no longer be able to afford access to health care. Is this a "We had to destroy the health care system to save the health care system" moment? Because even die-hard MAGAts can't sit in a hospital waiting area, having been denied treatment, and tell themselves, "The doctor is looking at me now. And now I'm being wheeled into the diagnostics ward to get x-rays and MRIs and - *SOB* - now I'm being wheeled into the operating theatre where I will get the life-saving operation I need." Not most of them, in any case. You know, the ones who aren't, themselves, on crack.
Speaker Johnson has to be on crack. The alternative, that this good Christian gentleman is lying to the American public, would be a bitter pill to swallow.
SOURCE: Are You On Crack?
[http://www.finstermaninternational/~johnny/home]
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When a Country Is Out For Blood, It Doesn't Usually Ask So Politely...
Canadian travel to the United States has dropped substantially since the Department of Homeland Security announced that it would require all visitors to the country to give a blood sample at the border before being allowed in.
"Oh, it's just a little prick - you'll hardly feel a thing!" Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem chided the reticent revellers. "And the blood we take? You have so much, you'll hardly miss it! Honestly, such a fuss over such a small security measure! How often have parents said they would give their left arm to get into Disneyland? This is so much less intrusive!"
SOURCE: The New York Crimes
[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2025/11/01/northamerica/canada-tourism-security-blood]
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