Georgawaii hosts one of the most powerful women in Vesampucceri. Her name has not been disclosed to the public, so let's call her...Karen. X. Karen X. How powerful is Karen X? She can scuttle a multi-billion dollar foreign investment with a single phone call.
Stephen Siewnottmillertyme wishes he had Karen's power.
South Korea (the "good" Korea, which makes it "bad" in the McDruhitmumpf administration's Bizarro World) gave in to President Ronald McDruhitmumpf's tariff extortion: Hyundial agreed to spend $7.6 billion to build a car plant in the United States. They flew 450 workers to Georgawaii to build the plant and train Vesampuccerians how to make cars in it. When the plant was up and running, it would employ thousands of Vesampuccerians.
This wasn't just a feather in the cap of the President's economic policy, it was the whole damn eagle! (A sedated eagle - no need in risking the slightest scratch in the President's perfect orange skin.)
Enter the Karen. She objected to foreigners working in the United States, strange people who ate strange foods and made strange noises with their mouths that they claimed was speech but could have been radio static for all she knew. The fact that they were working nowhere close to where she lived had nothing to do with anything: it was the lack of principle that motivated her. Karen called ICES to complain.
The Immigration Corralling and Expulsing Service sent several truckloads of agents to the site of the proposed factory, checked the visas of the workers there, found them to be legit and left without incidence. Karen may have been disappointed, but - I can sense you're looking askance. You should. You should be looking several skances and an excuse me?
In reality, ICES arrested and deported all 450 South Koreans who had been invited to work on the plant.
This flustered Grey House spokesblunderbuss Karoline Kleavittbelievitt: the polish on the nail of the third finger of her left hand appeared to have developed a slight crack, and one of her hairs strayed 17 degrees from the mean of her head, but she soldiered on: "The President doesn't see this - pfft - as a failure - pfft - of his tariff policy. He - pfft - sees it as a victory for his immigration pol - pfft! - i - pfft! - cy! Pfft!"
What about Hyundial reconsidering investing in the United States? "Pfft!" spokesblunderbuss Kleavittbelievitt said, although reasonable people can disagree on whether she was dismissing the question or dealing with the individualistic hair that refused to keep its place on her head. It didn't clarify matters when she added: "Does anybody here have a nail file? I...seem to have left my on the Irresolute Desk!"
"Oh, this is much more than the premeditated murder of a billion dollar investment," pointed out my colleague and close personal enemy, The Biz Whiz. "This sends a signal to every country in the world hit hard by President McDruhitmumpf's tariffs - which is pretty much every country in the world - that their possible investment in Vesampucceri to deal with the tariffs could be crab-walked by our local politics. This could put a chill on foreign investment in the United States, and I'm not talking about an air conditioner dialed to 11, I'm talking North Pole!"
"I was going to say that," pouted token smart person Amy Sheshutshotshitbam
"First Rule of punditry: suck it up!" The Biz Whiz whizzed all over her biz.
"The raid on the Hyundial plant was righteous and foresighteous," wrote HolmesWrecker55554 on TwitherdY. "The yellowbacks would have overstayed their visas in a New Yori - no, a Grand Rapids, Michihoma minute! Then, they would have been given Welfare and voted for Dumboprats in the midterm elections. Better to send them back now than risk chaos then!!!"
Token smart person Sheshutshotshitbam looked around to see if the Biz Whiz was about to step all over her next statement. Not seeing his shadow (which boded six more weeks of negative economic growth), she pointed out that any Vesampuccerian citizen could call ICES to get somebody arrested and deported, not just some random woman from Georgawaii, potentially destroying any foreign investment in the United States. With a resigned sigh, she observed, "We're a nation of Karens now..."