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Enjoy,How Did We Go From Captain Kirk To Charlie Kirk?
INT. WEEKEND RELAPSE SET - NIGHT
ANCHOR and GUEST ANCHOR are sitting behind the news desk.
ANCHOR: This just in: Charlie Kirk is still dead.
GUEST ANCHOR: Oh, are we doing that again? Because I thought that bit died out, like, eight cast changes ag -
ANCHOR: This also just in: Charlie Kirk, who continues to be deceased, is still an aging frat boy who would probably have ended up third assistant grip on a local news broadcast if he hadn't been funded by an extreme right-wing billionaire who gave him all his talking points.
GUEST ANCHOR: Oh, boy. Are you sure -
ANCHOR: Prove me wrong.
GUEST ANCHOR: I don't know if I'm comfortable -
ANCHOR: In addition, this just in: the murderer of Charlie Kirk, who remains a pile of remains, is still a far right extremist who thought Kirk didn't go far enough, even though Republicans continue to portray the violent act as coming from the left.
GUEST ANCHOR: I'm outta here. Y'all're on your own!
Guest Anchor stands and walks off set.
SOURCE: Weekends!
[http://www.nobc.com/Weekends/video/play.shtml?mea=228305]
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SOURCE: Hellmark Greeting Cards
[http://www.hellmark.com/hmk/Website/Shopping/sh_eg_home.jsp?BV_SessionID=@@@@0508681416.1296791579@@@@&BV_EngineID=hadcllcgffdibedcfchcgn.0]
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Brad Bradford Responded To Her Response: "When Chow Is Not Reelected Mayor, Everybody Will Know Why!"
Damen, a major international shipbuilder that Toronto is paying $92 million to build two electric ferries, will soon stand trial for bribery, forgery and money laundering.
With a sigh, Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow commented, "Well, when they're late and millions of dollars over budget, at least we'll know why!"
SOURCE: NOW and THEN
[http://www.now&thentoronto.com/news/story.cfm?content=437062]
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That's New York, For You: If You Can Be Backstabbed There...
Democrat Zohran Mamdani was elected Mayor of New York. The reaction was immediate.
"He will destroy the city with his crazy, out of touch Communist ideas!" one Senator exclaimed. "New York can't increase taxes on its wealthiest citizens - that won't leave them with enough to contribute to my next reelection campaign!"
"What is it with New York?" one Representative demanded. "First, AOC, now this guy? Free schools? Cheap public transit? What is this, the sixties? Next thing you know, drug-addled people of all ages will be having sex in the streets! That is what you voted for, New York!"
"Looks like a baby, talks like a senile old man!" one long-time Senate staffer added.
And this was just the response from Democrats. The Republicans were much harsher!
SOURCE: The New York Crimes
[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2025/11/07/newyork/mamdani-mayor-election-ohboy]
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For Best Effect, Apply A Liberal Dose Of Skepticism
1 for the rages) Prime Minister Mark Carney's first budget cuts 40,000 public sector jobs, slashes international development assistance, and reduces the frequency and level of data sets collected by Statistics Canada. But wait! There's less! The budget also ends the 2 Billion Trees Program (one billion trees short), abandons Canada's 2035 climate targets under the Paris Accord, drastically reduces immigration numbers, and eliminates millions of dollars of support for home care, mental health and addiction. Remind me: how can he consider himself a Liberal?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Only The Good Die...At All
INT. BURN IN HELL, WITH GEORGE WALLACE STUDIO - ETERNAL NIGHT
As flames crackle and burn all around them, DICK CHENEY sits on the guest couch as GEORGE WALLACE reads off cue cards he holds over the table in front of him. A MINOR DEMON sits next to Cheney on the couch, prodding him with a fiery pitchfork, which he ignores. Insistent moaning can be heard throughout.
CHENEY (growls): I shouldn't be here.
WALLACE: Don't be so modest, Dick! Your lies paved the way for the United States get into a war it should never have been in! You pushed the unitary executive theory farther than anybody who had come before you. And don't even get me started on the way you perfected the politics of personal destruction. You did great work! If it wasn't for you, the world would never have gotten President Trump! Of course, you should be here!
CHENEY (growls): True. All true. And don't think I'm not proud of it, because I am. No, I meant: the deal was that I would live forever. I drank the blood of virgins and pledged allegiance to my Satanic master every night I worked in the Oval Office - I did everything by the book. I should be at home chugging whisky and shooting my friends in the face. Why am I here?
WALLACE: For endorsing Kamala Harris in the 2024 election?
Audience moans louder, some boo.
CHENEY (growls): It was a moment of weakness - the biggest mistake of my life!
WALLACE: Truly, a lesson for us all.
Cheney turns to face the demon.
CHENEY (growls): Could you poke me a little higher with the pitchfork? I have an itch between my shoulder blades.
SOURCE: Drew's Transcript-o-rama
[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/cheneyofcommand.shtml]
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