The Daily Me - Bebop Loco

Thank you, Bebop Loco, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, a simple walk after a snowstorm left our socks wetter than a mongoose in a monsoon. And we were assured when we bought them last month that they were waterproof! When rocks started appearing in our right boot, we knew something was up, so we checked: there were, of course, holes in the sole. We considered calling an exorcist for help, but decided to consult a physicist instead: the gaps in our boot were obviously caused by a black hole that was sucking stones out of another universe and transporting them via wormhole into ours!

Does anybody have any boot goop?

Enjoy,
The Daily Me Staff

Antifa Santa Knows If You've Been Good Naughty Or Bad Naughty, So Be Good Naughty For Goodness Sake!

The Twelve Days of Antifamas

On the first day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the second day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the third day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the fourth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the fifth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the sixth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the seventh day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: seven Orwell essays,
Six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the eighth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: eight rent strikes,
Seven Orwell essays,
Six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the ninth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: nine black balaclavas,
Eight rent strikes,
Seven Orwell essays,
Six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the tenth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: ten rainbow umbrellas,
Nine black balaclavas,
Eight rent strikes,
Seven Orwell essays,
Six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the eleventh day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: eleven Molotov cocktails
Ten rainbow umbrellas,
Nine black balaclavas,
Eight rent strikes,
Seven Orwell essays,
Six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

On the twelfth day of Antifamas, my comrade gave to me: twelve Nazi punchings,
Eleven Molotov cocktails
Ten rainbow umbrellas,
Nine black balaclavas,
Eight rent strikes,
Seven Orwell essays,
Six loud whistles,
Five tiny zines!
Four burning cop cars,
Three Antifa turkeys,
Two anti-Zionist banners,
And a challenge to fascist hegemony.

SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered

[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/973.html]
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"I Always Wear It. Even When I'm Sleeping. You'll Get It When You Pry It From My Cold, Dead Neck!"

Fighting along the border of Thailand and Cambodia has not stopped, despite the fact that US President Donald Trump, acting as a mediator, declared he had negotiated a ceasefire between the countries. Does this put his FIFA Peace Prize in jeopardy?

"No way! Un uh! Fake news! So fake it can't even be considered news! So fake it...it...it's chipmunk!" President Trump insisted. "I arranged to have that Peace Prize fair and square, and nobody's gonna take it away from me!"

SOURCE: The New York Crimes

[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2025/12/18/world/thailand-cambodia-peace-unpeace]
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The Snack For People Who Care What They Put In Their Bodies...But Not Anally So

Mondelez International has announced that it will be releasing Oreo Zero Sugar and Oreo Double Stuf Zero Sugar in the United States in January.

"After extensive market research, we determined that millennials and generation-Zers wanted more acesulfame potassium in their sweet snacks," the company said in a press release. "Ordinarily, they would lick a lampost or other iron or steel-based object after eating one of our snacks to get that metallic aftertaste. Now, they can get it without having to leave their homes - sugarless Oreos're all about ease of consumption!"

What about the possible negative health effects of the chemical? "Oh, we've got at least thirty years of obfuscation before we'll realistically have to deal with them!"

SOURCE: Ukrainian Foodies

[http://www.foodies.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%3Flistings%3Findex%3Easp%2F®Mode=0]
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"I'm With The Orban!"

Hungarian Prime Minister/Authoritarian Monster Victor Orban has been calm in the face of allegations that child abuse has been taking place in state-run juvenile institutions. "Well," he commented, "it's not exactly Epstein Island, is it?"

When a journalist shared the quote by his best bud (after Vlad the Putin), President Trump exploded, "He said what‽" After a few moments of contemplation, he chuckled. "You have to hand it to Viktor: he sure knows how to throw somebody under the bus! I can't wait for the opportunity to return the favour. You know, show him how we betray friends in the good old USofA. I'm sure I can still teach him a trick or two!"

SOURCE: The Podunk Mash & Enquirer

[http://www.podunkmash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49882-2025Dec15.html]
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The Epstein Files Are The Gift That Keeps On Not Giving

There was one bright spot in the American economy this year: sales of black ink skyrocketed with the partial release of the Epstein Files.

"That wasn't the purpose of the redactions," White House Press Obfuscator Karoline Leavitt commented, "but what the hell. We need all the good economic news we can get so we'll take the win."

SOURCE: The Hill You Die On

[https://thehillyoudieon.com/homenews/administration/448851-nobody-reads-these-urls-so-i-can-write-anything-i-want-in-this-space]
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Build Your Body While Tearing Other People's Bodies Down

Monday
CSPAN
Body Blitz: Physical Health the ICES Way
8:30am

Today, ICES trainers [REDACTED], [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] show you how using the butt of a rifle to smash car windows builds upper body strength, not just in your arms but in your chest. In the Hot Flight Spotlight, ICES trainer [REDACTED] explores how keeping your knee on the back of a squirming illegal is a great form of resistance training.

SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide

[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
more