2026? Meet the New Headline, Same as the Old Headline

If Israel Kills Less Than 10 People In Its Next Bombing Raid, Peace May Finally Be Achievable!

"Qatari leader says Gaza ceasefire is at critical moment" - Toronto Star

Are You Suggesting That The Smell Test Is Not Accurate?

"Smell is a 'highly subjective' sense" - Toronto Star

The Country's Modesty?

"What I Love When I Love America" - New York Times

Oh, Yeah? Trying Telling His Wealthy Donors That!

"Carney governs for all Canadians, not just Liberals" - Toronto Star

No Problem There: They've Been Preparing Us For Disappointment For Years

"When the Finch LRT opens, prepare for disappointment" - Toronto Star

But It'll Get Bytes All Over Me, And I Just Had This Suit Cleaned!

"Don't Fear the Burst of the A.I. Bubble" - New York Times

Wow - Congressman Jim Is Desperate To Distract From His Past As A Wrestling Coach, Isn't He?

"Jordan joins U.S. airstrikes" - Toronto Star

It's Not That Hard To Understand: Cost Will Go Up As Service Deteriorates

"What you need to know about the city's recycling system
Confusion abounds over how blue bin pickup works now" - Toronto Star

All Options? Really? Every Single One?
Has He Considered Culling The Population?
Did I Mean The Population Of Cars? Sure - Why Not?

"He'll work to get Toronto moving
New traffic czar says he's considering all options on how to mitigate congestion within the city" - Toronto Star

Molson's Or Molson's Light

"The case for a 4-day work week" - Toronto Star

...And Pencil Stealers Are Scared!

"Cops are back on the beat in Ontario schools" - Toronto Star

And We Know Where Those Lips Have Been!

"Carney is only paying lip service to climate change" - Toronto Star

Unfortunately, It Has A Giant Whoa-factor Price

"This $5.5M home has a giant wow-factor window" - Toronto Star

For Some Reason, A Population Raised On Disbelieving Experts Is Not Convinced

"Lancet study refutes claim of Tylenon-autism link

Trump's contentious remarks stoked fears and may delay critical research in the field, experts say" - Globe and Mail

If Nothing Else, It Should Spur Improvements In Firefighting Techniques

"'Single exit stairway' buildings could improve cities" - Globe and Mail

It's Not Hard: Just Hit Yourself In The Head With A Large Rock Until You Don't Know The Difference Between The Illusions In Your Head And Reality

"Getting into the mindset of Karoline Leavitt" - Globe and Mail

Isn't Canada A Sovereign Country?
If So, Why Do So Many Of Our Cops Aspire To Be Characters In American Police Dramas Of The 1980s?

"How a former Mountie fell into organized crime
Rapinder Sidhu writes about his undercover work in the Toronto area in the post-9/11 era" - Toronto Star

McLuhan's Ideas About Hot And Cool Media Might Apply Here
On The Other Hand, They Are About As Easy To Understand As Trump's Policies

"Mexico's cool-headed Trump strategy faces new tests after Venezuela" - Globe and Mail

Passengers Did Not Feel Comfort When Told: "You Can Always Stow Your Legs In The Compartment Above Your Seat."
Who Could Have Foreseen That?

"WestJet cancels plan to adjust seating layout after complaints about less legroom" - Globe and Mail

And All It Took Was Throwing The Auto Industry Under The (EV, Natch) Bus

"'New day': Agriculture industry lauds tariff agreement with China" - Globe and Mail

Bets Against Common Wisdom That The (White) House Always Wins

"Carney makes high-stakes economic bet in trade deal with Beijing" - Globe and Mail

But Human Dignity And Civic Pride Are Much Harder To Quantify, So...

"Infrastructure costs more than just money" - Toronto Star

But Nobody Trusts Opinions With Too Many Qualifiers, So We're Going To Act Like They're Always Right Anyway

"Market predictions can be way off the mark" - The Globe and Mail

a) Tax Avoidance Plans For The Wealthy?
b) If You Have To Ask How Much This Plan Costs, It's Not For You?
c) Bob?

"What Canadian investment accounts would be called if they were honestly named" - The Globe and Mail

Buying Less Food Will Help You Lose Weight

"Why you may not want lower prices as much as you think you do" - Washington Post

Belay That Last Headline!

"Actually, today's food prices are a bargain" - Washington Post