Thank you, Solomon Wood Gundy, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we decided to stop fighting the future and allow generative AI to write these introductions. We explained it to our employees as a "permanent unpaid coffee break." What could possibly go squid implement wrongolario? Aside, we mean, from the hole in our boot that was filled with spaghetti? Or that pizza bagel, hold the anchovies was a good way to approach the moon from the cheese side?
Hunh. The AI has picked up on our love of food. Maybe that's something we can work with...
Enjoy,This Is What Happens When You Favour President Over Precedent
To celebrate the new year, Ireland has launched a series of bombing raids on Jerusalem, culminating in the arrest of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The Irish government says he will be tried in their courts for war crimes and crimes against humanity.
"You can't do that!" roared Israeli Finance Minister Bezalel "The Genial Genocider" Smotrich. "It - it - it's against international law!"
Holding up a photograph of President Donald Trump, Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin purred, "Oh, I think we've left such quaint notions as international law behind, don't you?"
In a related story, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is considering bombing Washington and arresting President Donald Trump on charges of war crimes according to 125 sources with no knowledge of the matter. "If Canada is going to go out," Carney told his cabinet, "we may as well go out with a fight!"
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/world/2026/jan/04/new-world-disorder]
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Shoot Her! Shoot Her Quick! Shoot Her Now! Shoot Her Before Mars Is Destroyed!
Eighteen Alberta MLAs, almost one quarter of high-ranking elected officials in the province, face citizen-led recall petitions. All but one of them belong to Premier Danielle Smith's United Conservative caucus.
"Oh, I'm not worried," Premier Smith stated. "This is just an opportunity for Albertans to reaffirm their support for my government by decisively rejecting these recall petitions."
She seemed unconcerned when she said this, but...is that a bead of sweat on her forehead?
SOURCE: Festerin' Report
[http://www.ax2grindnet.com/festerinreport/web/feature222222222222-222222222.html]
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SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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On his first day as mayor of New York City, Zohran Mamdani scrapped the law equating anti-Zionism with antisemitism, affirming that political boycotts, including of Israel, are speech protected by the Constitution. Within minutes, the usual suspects, including the Israeli Foreign Ministry and American Zionists, claimed that this was the first step in the modern extermination of the Jews.
By way of contrast, New York's Jewish community shrugged. "You wanna get rid of antisemitism?" they asked. "Why don't you start by toning down the apocalyptic rhetoric and personal attacks? Because, you know, this is what a third of us voted for. Hee hee."
SOURCE: The New York Crimes
[https://www.nycrimes.com/live/2025/12/23/newyork/mamdani-hitler-antisemitism-overstatement]
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If Putin's Hand Was Any More Up Trump's Ass, He Could Wave To People Out Of The Presidents Mouth!
Kremlin-owned media outlets like Sputnik and RT are increasing their presence in Latin American countries in order to more efficiently promote anti-US disinformation. How does this square with the assertion that Russia is a good ally of the United States?
"Russia isn't trying to alienate us from our allies," President Donald Trump explained. "They're just helping us see enemies we didn't realize we had!"
SOURCE: Disassociated Press
[http://www.bltdaily.com/]
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Golan Reaches The Heights Of Genocidal Fervour
There is at least one good thing to say about Israeli Minister for Social Equality and the Advancement of the Status of Women of Israel May Golan: she believes some Gazan babies will still be alive 80 years from now. Coming from an Israeli Zionist, that is an expression of humanitarian optimism.
Israelis express their enthusiasm for Gazan genocide all of the time, often in terms much more hideous than Ms. Golan. Unfortunately, when they do, European and North American Zionists hear: "I am personally proud of every baby in Gaza. 80 years from now, they will tell their grandchildren what great things the Jews did for them."
It really is hard to argue with a mind that believes reality is a yogurt pretzel that should be eaten quickly before you can make the mistake of looking at its best before date.
If nothing else, Golan has advanced the cause of the equality of Israeli women: she has shown by example that they can be just as morally bankrupt in their pursuit of genocide as men. Whether this is a good thing I leave for historians to decide.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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He Wouldn't Talk That Way If He Had Seen Last Week's Episode!
Federal judges have accused the US government of lying in over 35 court cases, including falsifying records, faking declarations and swearing to statements that are at odds with reality.
"Activist judges spouting fake hoax news," President Donald Trump responded. "They were all appointed by Biden and are paid for by George Soros. Oh, yeah. And I have it on good authority that they're all bedwetters who secretly enjoy watching Real Housewives of Machu Pichu. I'm talking serious scum of the earth, here. The seriousest. The scummiest! Thank you for your inattention to this matter."
At least the Trump administration is consistent.
SOURCE: The Legal Unintelligibler
[https://www.law.com/thelegalUnintelligibler/2025/12/21/lies-damn-lies-and-government-testimony/]
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