Thank you, Iphigenia Watermark, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, wallpaper - have you ever really looked at wallpaper? We mean - what the hell do we mean? People look at wallpaper all of the time. There's nothing interesting about wallpaper. But...dental floss. Now, there's a subject to be reckoned with. And our reckoning is: what sins did we commit in a past life that we would think that writing about dental floss would interest anybody? Okay, one last stab: shrimp forks? No - too fishy. Sheets of fabric softener? Hard pass. Birthday balloons? Let's stick a pin in that. Could it be...that we have run out of ordinary things to write about in our introductions to The Daily Me?
Seinfeld makes it look so easy.
Enjoy,Terror Is In The Kipa Of The Beholder
When you're a fascist, everything looks like an enemy.
Take, for example, completely at random, just the first thing that popped into my head, really, the United Nations Relief and Works Agency. Now, you and I may think they do important work going into war zones and tending to the wounds of civilians and feeding them. Vital work. Admirable, even. You wouldn't think that if you were a Zionist, but I trust that none of my readers are. You're far too well behaved. Unless you're just lurking to collect information on me before...
Well. Umm. In any case, you wouldn't think that if you were Israel's Minister of National Security Itamar Ben Gvir, who, as you can see, celebrated the destruction of UNRWA headquarters in Jerusalem because helping Palestinian civilians caught in the Zionist destruction of their land is a form of terrorism.
Food not bombs? Puh-leaze! Food is bombs! The Hippocratic oath? It's just a more politely worded version of Mein Kampf! Jewish students in the west feeling uncomfortable about what Israel is doing is worse than Palestinian children sheltering in a bombed out school being shot in the head by the IDF.
And if you disagree, you know what Ben Gvir thinks of you!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Unless You're A Developer Or Friend Of The Premier, Nobody Will Listen To You, But It's The Thought That Counts
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1542775538]
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At the recent Conservative Party Stampede and Liberal Wienie Roast, Pierre Poilievre was confirmed as leader with 52% of the votes.
"That's a massive mandate as far as I'm concerned!" Poilievre, looking like he just swallowed a live ferret, stated. (To be fair, he always looks like that.) "Now, let's go and kick Carney's keister and reign hell on the Liberal jerkwads in the next election!" (To be fair, he always talks like that.)
SOURCE: Vancouver Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/VancouverStunned/News/2026/01/22/509727.html]
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Network Press Release Reads: "If We're Going To Lose Our Entire Audience, We May As Well Make A Statement!"
December 12, 2026The final quarter of The Iron Bowl (Alabama versus Auburn) will not be aired because of an edict from President Trump that no college football games air at the same time as the Army-Navy game. In its place, NBS will be running an hour of Jack Smith's testimony to the House Judiciary Committee.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Not Intentionally, But Who Are We To Argue With Progress?
President Donald Trump got more of a reaction than he bargained for when he said that NATO forces did not help the American cause in Afghanistan, that they "stayed a little back, a little off the front lines."
One Canadian soldier posted an image of himself in full battle gear in the desert saying, "Yep. Here's me taking out the garbage in the front yard of my Vancouver home. It's been quite a chore since the raccoons got organized!"
A British soldier posted a photo of himself in full battle gear, his head sticking out of a tank, with the caption, "Here I am, taking my daughter to her ballet practice in Devon. I know it may look a little extreme, but we were running late, and I didn't want to have a problem with traffic!"
A Swedish soldier posted a picture of himself in full battle gear in the desert, aiming a rifle off-camera. "The mosquitoes in Gothenburg are just intolerable in the summer! I'd do anything to be free of them! Anything, I tell you!"
Say what you will about President Trump, but he knows how to unite international institutions!
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/world/2025/jan/25/nato-hate-oh]
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Divided We Fall - Better Hope It's Not On An ICE Agent!
A second protester in Minneapolis, Alex Pretti, has been shot dead by a federal immigration official. Officials claimed that the shots were "defensive," that the man was holding a gun and "violently resisted" when officers tried to disarm him.
Bystander videos show that he did not have a gun, that he was holding a phone. "That may be," said Department of Homeland Security spokesweasel Tricia McLaughlin, "but the phone had an image of a gun on its screen, so, of course, our agents had to riddle his body with bullets. They are trained to take no chances."
The video also showed that Pretti wasn't acting in a violent manner when he was shot. "Yeah, but did you see the way he fell backwards?" McLaughlin stated. "If one of our agents had been behind him, they would have been knocked down, maybe even winded a little. How can they be expected to do their jobs under those conditions?"
First Good. Then Pretti. The names of the victims are probably a coincidence, but leaders of the No Kings protests across the country are advising protesters that if their name is Wright, Stunnear or Loocker, they should consider getting them legally changed.
"ICES agents are poorly trained and trigger happy," Ezra Leavin, Executive Director of Indivisible, pointed out. "We shouldn't give them an excuse to attack us. And, I mean, names are a...goofy excuse to shoot somebody, but, likevI said, poorly trained and trigger happy..."
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2026Jan26.html]
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