Headlines Are Getting Too Old for This Shit!

The Province's Vendetta Against Toronto Won't Be Complete Until You've Completely Destroyed The Waterfront?

"Why we are taking over Billy Bishop airport" - Toronto Star

So, Now The Conservatives Are Pigs Hunting Truffles?
That's An Image That's Gonna Stay With Me A Long Time!

"Minister's vow to 'root out' bad teachers ruffles union feathers" - Toronto Star

Ontario's Conservatives Are A Bunch Of Jokers, And There's Not A Batman In Sight!

"Some folks just want to watch the city burn" - Toronto Star

"Everybody In The Province Is Aging," Premier States. "How Can You Plan For That?"

"Ontario needs aging plan, experts say" - Toronto Star

All I Ended Up With Were A Used Refrigerator And 23 Left-handed Ping Pong Balls

"I spent last summer trying to find myself in the 'classified ads'" - Toronto Star

If It's Good Enough For The Rest Of Trump's Government...

"The Best We Should Hope For From the Fed: Nothing" - New York Times

It Certainly Isn't The Food!

"OUR FINE DINERS
At the city's most cherished greasy spoons, it's the familiar faces that matter most" - Toronto Star

That Deck Chair Would Look Very Nice Over There, And That Deck Chair Should Be Out Of The Captain's Path To The Lifeboat

"Canada, it's time for economic renovation" - Toronto Star

Trump: Looks Like I Chose A Bad Time To Quit Alternate Energy...

"Hydropower Line From Canada Could Power a Million Homes in the City" - New York Times

Give Them The Opportunity To Explore As Many Different Cultures As They Are Able To Understand

"Protecting Your Child's Vision from Myopia" - Toronto Star

I Spent Most Of My Vacation In My Hotel Room So I Didn't Have To Choose

"Guadaloupe HAS TOO MANY BEACHES TO VISIT" - Toronto Star

NOT Offering To Replace Them In The Bedroom Is Probably A Good Start

"How to help a friend whose spouse just up and left" - Toronto Star

It Was Too Soggy To Stand On But It Made The Base Of A Lovely Table Lamp

"The Sea Took Her Leg, But Then Gave It Back" - New York Times

Or Never Lose
I Like The Never Losing Option

"We must learn how to be better losers" - Toronto Star

Ridicule And Shaming Are Also Options

"Layoffs aren't the only response to AI" - Toronto Star

Friend Tom On Facebook
Just Tell Him You're A Scientologist Who Wants To Fund His Next Film And He'll Be Eating Out Of Your Hand

"How to get the best cruise deals" - Toronto Star

Experts On Teleportation Claim The Technology Doesn't Exist.
Experts On Waffles Say They Understand The Attraction.

"FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious." - New York Times

World Torn By War Calls For Pope To Mind His Own Beeswax

"Pope calls for peace in a world torn by war" - Toronto Star

Is He Canadian?
I Have No Particular Reason – Just Curious.
So, Is He? Canadian?

"With Spielberg's help a 101-year-old Auschwitz survivor has become a mighty warrior against hate" - Toronto Star

The Perception Is The Problem

"A problem, or a perception?
TTC is safer than it's been in years. Yet council is being asked to spend millions to do more" - Toronto Star

It's Like Dark City, But With 37% More Capitalism With A Chinese Face

"Experience ever-evolving Shanghai" - Toronto Star

Makeovers Are All The Rage This Season

"Pakistan Reshapes Its Image Globally" - New York Times

Is That How The Cool Kids Are Getting Their Acid These Days?

"Fried chicken, breakfast sandos & a mind-blowing butter tart" - Toronto Star

It's Old-wimey Tartan, Too?

"It's not all old-timey tartan" - Toronto Star

Lesson One: Don't Trust Israel To Honour Ceasefires

"Six months of ceasefire in Gaza may offer lessons for Iran war" - Toronto Star

You Mean...The Stars Weren't Aligned?

"An ironic time to demolish planetarium" - Toronto Star

Pack Your Gun Collection

"Turn a fleeting airport layover into a lasting memory" - Toronto Star

Surprisingly, Dying A Horrible Death Decades Before Your Time Isn't A Big Recruiting Draw...

"THAILAND
Economy drives men to military" - Toronto Star

And The Zombies Are Still Just Milling About In The Background!

"We're dealing with the dread of living through crisis" - Toronto Star