I Have Seen The Future of Social Media, And It Looks A Lot Like 1939...

He Who Controls The Future Controls The Present
No, Wait - He Who Controls The Future Is Present
No, That's Not Right, Either - He Who Controls The Future Gets Presents?
Whatever: Control And Different Tenses Are Somehow Involved!

redpillbot
@redpillb0t

"We (jews) need to make sure the story is written properly, so that when the history books write this, they won't write about the victims of Gaza."

I Was A Lifelong Republican Until I Realized That My Extreme Right Wing Views Would Be Taken More Seriously By Centrists If I Claimed To Be A Lifelong Democrat

Magachurch Pastor
@magachurchpastr

I was a life-long Democrat until I learned Joe Biden signed some things with auto-pen. That's why, for one, Pres Trump's signing documents with a black Sharpie shows this Administration's absolute commitment to transparency.

PUTIN THINKS TELEGRAMS ARE SO TWENTIETH CENTURY STOP WILL IGNORE STOP

Phil Stewart
@phildstewart

WITKOFF SAYS HE HAS COMMUNICATED TO RUSSIA TO NOT SEND TARGETING INFO AND OTHER ASSISTANCE TO IRAN

Unfortunately For Him, ICE Got To Them First

Morgan J. Freeman
@mjfree

BREAKING: Hegseth officially invites the Proud Boys & the Oath Keepers to join the U.S. Military citing their fierce Jan 6 patriotism

"My Third World War Will Be So Much Nicer! For One Thing, There Will Be None Of This Integrated Fighting Forces Bullshit!"

Stephen Miller
@StephenM

If young men don't want to be drafted to fight in Kamala and Cheney's 3rd World War they better get out and vote for Trump.

Benjamin Netanyahu Grins And Says, "I Taught Trump Everything He Knows..."

The General
@GeneralMCNews

BREAKING: The White House reportedly blocked intelligence agencies from warning law enforcement about new terror threats to the U.S. homeland linked to the war with Iran.

He Has Sure Liberated Them From Their Country's Wealth!

Republicans against Trump
@RpsAgainstTrump

Interior Secretary Doug Burgum:

On Friday, there was $100 million of oil from Venezuela to the United States...The people of Venezuela are gonna be putting up a statue of Trump as a great liberator.

That It Has Been Bought And Paid For By Billionaires.
Sorry, Was That Not The Answer You Were Looking For?

ALX
@alx

If Congress can't pass a bill that 80% of the people agree with, what does that say about Congress?

You've Heard Of Corporations Having Deep Pockets? That Money Will Be Buried So Far Down It Will Die From Lack Of Sunshine

Judd Legum
@JuddLegum

1. CONSUMERS paid most of Trump's tariffs, which the Supreme Court ruled were illegal.

But CORPORATIONS will receive the refunds.

Will they pass that cash back to consumers? Or pocket the money?

We asked them.

Trump Isn't Playing Five Dimensional Chess, But This Is Kind Of A Two And A Half Dimensional Chess Move

Ron Filipkowski
@RonFilipkowski

Bessent says the Trump admin may now lift sanctions on even more Russian oil to try and reduce oil prices during Trump's war. This would provide a massive injection of cash to fund Putin's war machine.

It Will Be A Good Opportunity For FBI Agents To Brush Up On Their Eye Gouging And Balls Kicking

Republicans against Trump
@RpsAgainstTrump

NEW: FBI Director Kash Patel confirms UFC fighters will train FBI agents this week, calling it a "historic opportunity."

"I'm thrilled to announce this historic seminar between the FBI and the UFC at Quantico.
This is a tremendous opportunity for our FBI agents to learn and train with some of the greatest athletes on earth - helping the world's premier law enforcement agency be even better prepared to protect the American people." Patel
Said

"You Would Be Surprised How Invitations To The Ministry Of Truth Focus The Mind..."

Aaron Rupar
@atrupar

Leavitt: "CNN issued a correction on that story after I called them and spent nearly an hour on the phone rebutting it. ABC News ... we forced them to issue a correction."

The Eagle Is Looking Down At Its Empty Claw, And It Looks Pissed!

Tim Spalding
@librarythingtim

Thought this was a parody, but, no, the US Mint really removed the olive branch - but not the arrows - held by the eagle on the dime. The design goes back to the super-woke days of 1782. Link in the next tweet.

Was This Before Or After Marx Won The Oscar For Best Set Design For A Musical?

vanilla sweet cream cold brew
@blublubluberri

A man just told me that 'karl marx executed thousands' and i laughed so hard he told me to google it

AND YOU BELIEVED THEM‽

More Perfect Union
@MorePerfectUnion

The U.S. just sent thousands of Marines to the Middle East, signaling a possible ground invasion of Iran.

Several Republicans promised their support for the war was conditioned on not putting "boots on the ground."

Here are Republicans who said troops wouldn't enter Iran

Do You Mean The White People Of America, Or The Rich White People Of America?

Elon Musk
@elonmusk

Failing to pass SAVE is an act of high treason against the people of America

Pfft! What, That Woke Piece Of Shit Document‽

Jack Pitney
@jpitney

Today, Hegseth said: "No quarter, no mercy for our enemies." But the Defense Department's own Law of War Manual (pp. 209-210) says: "It is forbidden to declare that no quarter will be given."

And It's Fascism For The Win!

Cory Massimino
@corymassimino

Today a jury in Prairieland, TX will decide if the state can imprison people for their beliefs, if the state can criminalize ideas it dislikes, if the state can treat anarchists like terrorists. It's a horrifyingly consequential pivot point in our descent into authoritarianism.

But Once You Know How The Magic Trick Is Done, The Effect Is Just Not The Same

Stew Peters
@realstewpeters

ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt says anyone identified as an "antisemite" should be targeted with exploding pagers, similar to what the Israelis used to target members of Hezbollah.

She's The Kind Of Person Who Grew Up Hating Trivial Pursuit Because She Never Got A Single Geography Question Right

Captain ObviousTM
@TheFungi669

Karoline Leavitt: "We must protect the Strait of Hormuz. It's an important gateway between the Pacific Ocean and the Atlantic Ocean."