Thank you, Byron "The Byronator" Bobalink, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, with the price of gas skyrocketing, we decided to buy only what we could find within walking distance. So, now we subsist mostly on a diet of graham crackers, tins of sardines and fruit we pick in the middle of the night from our neighbours' trees. And if the prices of groceries continues to rise, we may have to forego the sardines. We considered dying, but have you seen what a coffin costs these days?
Enjoy,Miller Would, But He's Afraid Of Disintegrating In Sunlight
Stephen Miller, Stephen Miller. The happy Triumph of the Willer. Of the American government, he is a fascist pillar. Happily gives an order he wouldn't obey: a cowardly mass killer. That's Stephen Miller, Stephen Miller.
The Nazis crowed about a thousand year Reich; I suppose Miller is being modest by only projecting American hegemony out for a century. He should be: China's straw is already drinking America's milkshake.
Just because the American GDP per capita "blows every other nation out of the -" what? Monaco's was higher in 2024? Okay, well, umm, just because the American GDP blows all but one other - Liechtenstein was second? What about - Bermuda? Then, Luxembourg, followed by Ireland? Where does the United States actually stand in the blowing every other nation out of the water stakes? Twelfth‽ Behind, of all places, Iceland?
Okay, well, forget about facts. Clearly, Miller has.
Speaking of leaving facts behind in the dust, who does Miller think is enjoying the life Americans live? The approximately 67% of Americans who, as of late 2025, believed the country was "pretty seriously off on the wrong track?"
Somebody needs to get out of his bunker more.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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Vance's Opening Negotiating Strategy Being, "We're Superior To You In Every Way, So It Would Be In Everybody's Best Interests If You Do As We Tell You," It's Hard To Understand Why Iran Wouldn't Immediately Sign A Peace Agreement
Parliamentary Speaker Mohammad Bagher Qalibaf said negotiations between Iran and the United States had ended without a peace deal after the Americans refused to stop treating the country like a brain-damaged child.
"The simple fact is that we were a civilization long before Europeans even realized that there was a hemisphere to colonize," Speaker Qalibaf said. "The patronizing attitude with which the Americans have treated Iran during the negotiations is - how would your president put it? - bullshit!"
In the middle of the negotiations, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, "I think someone is missing from the negotiating table. But that's okay. You two kids do your best to work something out. If it looks like you may actually achieve some kind of agreement, I can always step in and torpedo your progress."
SOURCE: The Baghdad Post
[http://www.baghdadpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2026Apr14.html]
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Fox Is Way Ahead Of Other Networks As Their Anchors Already Act Somnambulistically
All In with Chris HayesExhausted from trying to keep up with the shenanigans of the Trump administration, Chris falls asleep at his desk. The network would cut away to a repeat of a previous show, but the 40 minutes of their news anchor sleeping at his desk garners the show the biggest ratings it has had in six months, prompting networks across the political spectrum to reassess their news programming.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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He's Right: The Peasants Can't Eat Cake Unless They Have Eggs To Make It With
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1276222238]
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Detest Is Not Just A Word That Describes What You Do In De Class
Kansas. Get out your tape measures! State legislators have passed a law making it illegal to stand "too close" to ICE agents. How close is too close? Twenty-five feet. Think you're safe standing 30 feet away? All an ICE agent has to do is run towards you, and you're in jail for six months for a first offence! The only criterion for the arrest is that you make an ICE agent feel "uncomfortable" or "distracted," like, for example, when they are being filmed. Because everybody knows how shy and retiring ICE agents are...
Ohio. Meanwhile, a local school board demanded that a teacher take down a poster that "Hate Has No Home Here." They did this because the poster contained a rainbow-coloured heart, and you can guess how the board feels about that.
SOURCE: States of the Union
[https://www.law.com/StatesoftheUnion/2026/04/16/ohio-kansas/]
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This Leaves The Vice President 0 For How Many?
American Vice President JD Vance went to Hungary to campaign for unpopular authoritarian leader Viktor Orban. His popularity immediately sank in pre-election polls.
You'd think Orban would have learned, but, no: soon after, American President Donald Trump vowed that if Orban won, the US would help prop up the country's ailing economy. Orban's poll numbers sank to new lows.
After the blow-out, President Donald Trump wrote on Truth Antisocial: "I always liked and supported Peter Magyar. This is a great victory for - *SOB* - for demo - *SOB* - democracy!"
SOURCE: The Smarmian
[http://www.thesmarmian.com/world/2026/apr/15/or-ban-orban]
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It Just Goes To Show The Omnipotence Of Delusion In The Trump Administration
Pope Leo XIV denounced the "delusion of omnipotence" that is fuelling the US-Israel war in Iran, and demanded a negotiated peace settlement.
In response, Donald Trump denounced the Pope's "delusion of competence," adding, "I was talking with Jesus when we posed for photos recently, and he said I was doing a hell of a job. A hell of a job. Best Christian since...well, Jesus. Better, in some ways. Jesus could be humble like that. So, I don't think I'll be accepting criticism from a guy in a funny hat who wears dresses and talks like an anti-American commie!"
In her next press conference, White House spokespook Karoline Leavitt said, "The whole thing was just a misunderstanding because of a bad translation of the Pope's remarks." When it was pointed out that Pope Leo was speaking in English, Leavitt lost her smile and moaned, "Jesus, is there nothing that will make you vultures happy‽"
SOURCE: Religion For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/home.asp?did=598&dir=bb]
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