"Hi, Frank."
"Hi, Jack. How are things?"
"Not bad."
"How's your wife, Melissa?"
"She's fine."
"And, your children, Jacqueline and Fritz?"
"The little one is having nightmares, which means that Mel and I have been having problems getting sleep..."
"That's too bad. But, otherwise, they're okay?"
"Well...other than that, sure, I guess."
"Good...good...and, how are your folks?"
"Great. They just got another cat - that makes 12 in the past five weeks!"
"Ha...ha...oh, and how is Melissa's mother?"
"Okay."
"And, old Uncle Ebenezer?"
"Super."
"And, Auntie Phyllis?"
"Couldn't be better."
"And, all your nieces and nephews?"
"Fine."
"And, how about your mistress, Roxanne?"
"What are you getting at?"
"Getting at? I'm not getting at anything. I'm just trying to make small talk."
"Yeah? Well, let's change the subject."
"Sure...sure. How's work?"
"Pretty good."
"Getting along with your boss?"
"Can't complain."
"No interoffice tension?"
"Naw. It's a great place to work."
"So, nobody's padding the accounts?"
"What do you know about it?"
"Nothing, I -"
"Don't even joke about such things."
"Sorry... So, you're feeling good?"
"Never better."
"Don't ever feel too tired for no good reason?"
"Nope."
"And, your heart?"
"Working like a clock."
"How about your back?"
"It's okay, but every now and again I do get a headache..."
"Aaaaaaaahhh..."
"But, it usually goes away again within a few hours."
"Ah."
"So, how are you?"
"Well, productivity was down last quarter, and my boss has been dropping subtle hints lately. Getting less subtle all the time, actually. Other than that, I suspect my wife has been fooling around behind my back, which only tends to aggravate my ulcers. On the other hand, it looks like my oldest son has been dealing drugs to the kids at his -"
"Hey - hey! If I had wanted your life story, I would have asked for it!"
"You did ask for it!"
"No, I didn't. I just asked to be polite. I don't care what is happening in your life - I hardly know you!"
"Oh. Well...what should we talk about?"
"How about the weather?"
"Sure...sure."
"It was pretty mild today, wasn't it?
"Yes, but that's because we're stuck between a cold front from the north and a warmer current of air from the southwest. We can expect rain in the next couple of days, after which -"
"That's it. That's it!"
"What's the matter, Jack?"
"I'm going over there to have a drink in peace. Don't come near me or I'll throw an ashtray at you!"
"Sure, Jack. Sure...whatever you say..."
"Hi, Frank."
"Hi, Phil."
"How's it going?"
"Umm, Phil, can I get back to you on that one?"
