What a Vile, Loathsome, Sexist Pig I am!
Suppose a candidate for a party's nomination agreed that two states that hadn't followed the party's rules on primaries (let's call them - oh, I don't know - M*ch*g*n and Fl*r*d*) should be punished by not having their delegates seated at the nominating convention. Since this purely an exercise in imagination, let us suppose that, six months later, when the candidate appears to be losing, the candidate begins to argue that delegates from the states need to be seated, all of them, right away, because it wouldn't be fair to voters in M*ch*g*n and Fl*r*d* if they weren't, even though the candidate's main rival, in accordance with Party wishes, didn't campaign in them and removed his name from the ballot in one of them. Since our imaginations are running riot, let us also suppose that at no time arguing its current position does the candidate ever acknowledge the opposite position it held six months earlier.
Well. If the candidate had been a male, I would be satirically all over him like stupid on a right-wing talk show host. However, since the candidate in this "hypothetical" situation was actually (oh, I know you're way ahead of me here, you clever reader, you) Hillary Clinton, to suggest that this bit of electoral unfairness capped by a bizarre bit of Orwellian DoubleThink was a case of bad campaign strategy would clearly be sexist.
Oh, how I curse the day that I was born Vulvally Challenged!
I know that when Clinton discussed getting off a plane in Bosnia amid sniper fire, despite the fact that witnesses said the event was actually peaceful, it was because I am sexist. I have no doubt that when Clinton touted her role in bringing peace to Ireland (her main evidence being, apparently, that she happened to be in the country), it was because I am sexist. I'm sure that when Clinton exaggerated her role in her husband's administration (according to people who were actually, you know, in it), it was because I am sexist.
Does my Gyno Hatred know no bounds?!
I wavered over Clinton's references to Robert Kennedy's assassination. Considering that she made the reference four times over a period of two months, twice using the actual word "assassination," she couldn't seriously argue that campaign fatigue had contributed to her speaking out of turn. My skepticism wasn't helped by the non-apology apology she made, referring to the pain of the Kennedys without acknowledging the non-theoretical death threats made against Obama throughout the campaign.
I kept telling myself that any and all criticism of Hillary Clinton was sexist, just like any and all criticism of the government of the state of Israel is anti-Semitic. (Yeah, I know, I'm a self-hating Jew as well as a Sexist Bastard, but please cut me some slack: I can only deal with one of my failings at a time.)
Oh, my faith in my own sexism was further tested when Clinton's plausibly deniable surrogate Geraldine Ferraro commented that the only reason Obama had gotten as far as he had was because he was black. OH, MY GOD, SELL THE FARM, GRAMPA, THERE's A COLOURED MAN RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! See, I thought Obama, who is a truly gifted orator, offered a platform for change that resonated with a population that had grown weary of class warfare and ugly partisan smears. Silly me. Clinton clearly appeared to be courting the votes of people who would judge Obama by the colour of his skin, not the content of his character.
I realize now, of course, that that was Just The Testosterone Talking. If I hadn't been born Vaginally Deficient, I would have known with absolute certainty that these were by-products of the fundamental sexism of American society. Even now, while accepting this fact, I'm not sure how appeals to racism are a result of sexism, but that just shows that my Estrogen Consciousness has yet to be Fully and Properly Raised.
Sexism, no doubt, played a part in the Democratic primary campaign; among the many examples, I found the Clinton nut-cracker figure especially appalling. However, it was not the only factor, and probably not the decisive one. To see the campaign only through the lens of sexism does a large disservice to Barack Obama, who was simply better at raising money and organizing than Clinton. It is also unfair to future female candidates, who need to know what Clinton did wrong in order not to repeat it in future elections (to use one more example: Clinton's key state strategy was not as effective as Obama's 50 state strategy; okay, to use another one more example: it's tough to get support for a pro-war candidate when as much as 80 per cent of the country's population opposes the current war).
But, what the hell do I know? I was born with a penis.