Thank you, eopNaoln pneraBaot, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Can you believe that groveling apology Feeblish foisted on us last week? Give some people a Vice President's title, and it goes straight to their gonads! Swear to god, if he doesn't back off and let the creatives create, we're gonna pull a Jesse Jackson on his ass! Well...on him, anyway. Oh, yeah - Barack Obama knows what we're talking about! If we were Feeblish, we wouldn't come into the office without wearing a cup!
Enjoy,That...That's One Way Of Solving Conflicts...I Suppose...
Hasbro is suing us. No? Yes! They saying our BoratzTM Dollz infringe on their copyrighted G. I. Joe figures! Unbelievingable! In Kazakhstan, when problem of this kind are happening, we go out to pig sty and make comment about making nicey nicey with other party's sister, mother and sheep. After that, we beat each others senseless with pig shit.
And then...we have drink of fermented goat's blood and blame problem on Jewish bankers!
SOURCE: Boratz.com - The Official BoratzTM Site
[http://www.boratz.com/]
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If Only He Used His Hammer And Rage For Goodness...
Complesimplifibigness: Why Simple Things Become Complex, Then Simple, Then Complicated AgainWith technological change happening faster than the ordinary person can keep track of, it becomes increasingly difficult to tell if the world is getting too complicated for us to comprehend or if it just looks that way and it's actually so simple that we miss the point. Perhaps, like life's strange attractors, there are pockets of simplicity within the complexity, or maybe we can simplify the complicatedness with acts of attentiveness. Or, maybe, just maybe, simplicity and complexity are part of a larger whole that we can only dimly perceive (even with HBO).
Stop overthinking. I can save you thirty bucks and several hours of your time. Simply get a hammer and access your rage that the same people who are making the world so complicated are selling you cheap nostrums to help you cope.
I think most people will be able to take it from there.
SOURCE: Unread Book News
[http://217.204.41.57/cgi/NGoto/2/64382861?3518]
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Vivre Le Quebec Fou!
Quebec nationalists are complaining that the very British Sir Paul McCartney has been scheduled to give a free concert on the Plains of Abraham. They claim that the presence of music with English lyrics is "dangerous."
Oh, please! The Cute Beatle hasn't been dangerous in decades!
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
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The New Hitler Is...The Old Hitler?
After an absence of...minutes, Adolph Hitler is back in the news.
Five minutes after a new exhibit featuring the Fuhrer in repose at his desk in his bunker at Madame Tussaud's opened, somebody ripped the head off it. Anti-fascist agitation? Naah. The young jerk did it on a bet. A bet! This is how decadent Western society has become.
Meanwhile, the Canadian government is considering taking a child away from a woman because she sent him to school with a swastika she drew on his arm. Twice. She said that, although she admires Adolph Hitler, she is not a Nazi. The woman just wanted to teach her daughter to be proud of their Scottish heritage. Other than a dubious appreciation of history, we see no reason why the woman should be considered an unfit mother by the government.
That's just racist profiling, isn't it?
Then, there's Max Mosley, the son of British fascists. A picture of the man being spanked in a dungeon with five prostitutes wouldn't bother him so much; he's suing the newspaper that published the photo because it insinuated that he was a Nazi because some of the women were wearing uniforms that looked suspiciously SS.
People! Get a grip! Nazi is not a description you should be afraid of. It's not like you're being called...liberals!
SOURCE: Bigots Without Borders
[http://www.bigotswithoutborders.org/]
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And, Yet, Gas Prices In Mirror May Look Exactly As Big As They Actually Are
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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They Both Leave You Emotionally Wrecked, Physically Bloodied And Financially Ruined
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1374753228]
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The Truth Is Out There...Way Out There...
Who are you calling douchebag, asshole? I was calling out the IRS for tapping into and controlling the karma of average Americans while you were still working on your first Kennedy assassination theory! I should, by rights, be the author of the Next to Penultimate Conspiracy Page, but you hogged the limelight with your crackpot ideas about Blackberrys being an Islamo-fascist plot to destroy Americans by giving us all thumb cancer. You think you're hot shit because you weave high tech into your conspiracies? Well, I got news for you, sunshine: old school conspiracy rulez!
SOURCE: Frank's Fourth In Line To Be The Ultimate Conspiracy Page
[http://www.ignorefrankatyourperil.com/conspiracy2314.html]
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Bet You Won't Be Seeing THAT On A Bumper Sticker Any Time Soon
Looking for a vacation with all of the thrills of danger without the actual...you know, danger? On a tight budget because the economy is falling to sh - is falling? Maybe you should be looking closer to home. Have you considered...Ottawa, Canada's national capital?
You're probably thinking to yourself: what could be more boring than a city full of politicians. WRONG! Did you know that the buildings on Parliament Hill require over a billion dollars of repairs? You think you?ll be getting a civics lesson when you'll actually have to be on your toes to dodge falling bricks! There's nothing like the imminent threat of a 200 pound gargoyle falling on you to capture your attention! What used to be a sedate history lesson is now a pulse-pounding adventure in terror!
Ottawa - no longer just for pussies.
SOURCE: Safe Xtreme Vacations
[http://www.lookingforsafeadventure.com/asafedventuretravelsites.htm]
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For Everything Else, There's FISA
AT&T sent out a press release praising passage of the new bill in Congress that exempts telecommunications companies from liability when complying with the government's warrantless wiretapping. The only problem is that the press release was sent to journalists a week before the final vote.
Now, how could they have possibly known...?
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/1102249800267760.xml]
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