Thank you, Mia Culp, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. And, then, we all went on holiday. We mean, we missed the bus and the sun was shining and we heard the distant tingling of the ice cream truck and, well, we defy anybody to go into work under those circumstances. No, we all got paper cuts and nobody could work the Internet. Uhh...can we get back to you on the whole "why we've been irresponsible" thing?
Enjoy,A Welcome Addition To Her Orders To Kill On Sight The Better Angels Of Our Natures
At a town hall event in Minnesota, Republican Presidential candidate John McCain was booed when he stated that Democratic candidate Barack Obama was "a decent family man" who "you do not have to be scared of as president of the United States." What happened?
Evidence suggests that John McCain's conscience was momentarily taken out of the freezer on the Straight Talk Express in which it has been kept for most of the election. The partially thawed out conscience toured with him for three days, after which it disappeared. Some reports suggest that the conscience slipped past McCain's guards and struck out on its own, although rumours persist that it was actually driven mad by repeatedly being subjected to robo-calls claiming Barack Obama favours killing small children.
Whatever the truth of the matter, Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, who never moderated her attacks on the frontrunner Obama, will now be flying over McCain rallies in a helicopter with orders to use her rifle to terminate his conscience with extreme prejudice.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2008Oct15.html]
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So, This Is What It Came Down To?
Why I deserve your voteSOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1088591877413&call_pageid=968346278492&col=968666972854]
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Now, That Was Music - Not Like The Noise Kids Listen To Today!
Frankie Venom, lead singer of the punk rock band Teenage Head has died of throat cancer. Mister Venom was 51. Those of you with "Somethin' On My Mind" who dream of saying "Let's Shake" at a "Teenage Beer Drinking Party" probably have the same response.
"Disgusteen!"
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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You'd Think That Policy Would Be A Hard Cell
In a move that some see as "a little over the top," the Bush administration has taken the bold step of arresting every American citizen. This is in accord with the Bush doctrine of "preemptive crimefighting."
"See, we know you're gonna commit a crime at some point in your life," the President said in an address to the nation on Thursday. "Statistics don't lie. So, 'stead of waiting for you to do it, we just haul your ass into jail and prevent it. Preemptive crimefighting is making our streets safe for ordinary folks."
With every citizen under arrest, there is some question as to who will actually run the prisons to hold them. "See, those details have to be worked out," President Bush allowed.
SOURCE: The Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=32328791314641314612fx]
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Eugene Fama Was Devastated
Paul Krugman has won the Sveriges Riksbank Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel (the Nobel Prize in Economics to you). Oh, snap! In your face, Alan Greenspan! Eat your heart (or comparable vital organ) out, Milton Friedman!
SOURCE: Economics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummieshome.asp?did=500&dir=bb]
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Axis Of Weasels
David Frum accused host Rachel Maddow, on her TV show, of helping foster the negative tone of the election campaign. Frum refused to back down when she insisted that her irreverent tone was not comparable to people at McCain/Palin rallies shouting "terrorist" and "kill him" without a candidatorial demurral.
The next day, Frum said he was irritable because he was told that he had been asked to appear on the show to talk about Afghanistan, not the election. However, as Keith Olbermann, on his own show, pointed out, the list of preinterview questions had nothing to do with Afghanistan.
David's mother, respected Canadian journalist Barbara Frum, must be spinning in her grave fast enough to supply the energy needs of the Greater Toronto Area for the next 17.34 years.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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When It Comes To Headline Puns, I Leave No Turn UnStoned
Flash of Genius: in the choice of title, maybeSOURCE: Five Second Movie Reviews
[http://www.5secmovrev.com/NOW.htm]
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Hunker In Your Bunker With Your Tons Of Guns And Wait For The State To Collapse
Can somebody help me out here? Russia has allowed the airing of a documentary called Zero on a state-owned channel that argued that the destruction of the World Trade Centre and the attack on the Pentagon on 9/11 were an American government conspiracy. As a good conspiracy theorist, I want to believe this. However, as a proud American patriot, I distrust the source.
What is a poor conspiracy buff to do?
SOURCE: Gerald's Next To Penultimate Conspiracy Page
[http://www.ignoregeraldatyourperil.com/conspiracy2304.html]
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Vindicated Defined As Being Found Completely Guilty?
SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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