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Enjoy,You Can't Be Too Jewsy
Do Jewish parents spoil their children? Of course we do!
When they're young and they notice that most of the non-Jewish children around them are getting lots of presents at Christmas, do we tell them that the distribution of goods in the world is essentially unfair and that they should suck it up? Of course not! We promote a minor holiday, Chanukah, to major status, with gift giving, candle lighting, spinning of dreidels and other fun. Okay, it ain't exactly Christmas, but we try.
When our girls notice that their Bar Mitzvahed brothers are getting lots of attention and loot, what do we do? We create a Bat Mitzvah ceremony out of thin air for them! Because, really, we see no point telling our daughters that the world values boys more than it does girls.
There will be plenty of time in life for them to learn that lesson.
SOURCE: Judaism Right Now
[www.cwp.org.uk/HarkHaroldAngelsSing/Archives/judaismrightnow/spoiledor.htm]
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I've Still Got Scars On My Stomach From My Years On The Hula Hoop Circuit
Fadamant: believing with absolutely certainty that the fad you are currently interested in will last longer than the fed you replaced it with.
SOURCE: Michelle's Obscure Pedantry Page
[http://www.MichellesOPP.ca/blogger.html]
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The Bipartisan Spirit Shows Up In The Strangest Places
IrishEddieOHara says:SOURCE: Old Comics
[http://www.oldcomics.com/peanuts/]
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Hello, Shopper's Drug Mart? Got Any Perspective? Cuz I Got A Headline Writer Who Could Sure Could Use Some
SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1306586038]
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Not Waiting For God To Open The Door
8pm. The Fishing Network. Reeling in the Big Ones, with Chuck Formaldehyde. Chuck's special guest is Sarah Palin, who shows him how to fish with a rifle.
9pm. Fox. Family Guy. Sarah Palin makes a guest appearance as Stewie's nanny. They find they have much in common.
10pm. CBS. CSI Wasilla. Sarah Palin makes a guest appearance as a state governor whose home contractor is murdered before he can reveal whether or not his company built her house for free in return for a $25 million contract to build a sports stadium nearby.
11pm. NBC. Friends. Sarah Palin makes a guest appearance as Chandler's crazy aunt who thinks she has a shot at becoming President of the United States, even though the show ended years before Palin appeared on the public stage.
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Sounds Like The Name Of A Fairly Oddparents Character
There are a lot of reasons to be sad that Elwyn Tinklenberg didn't oust Michelle Bachmann in a Mississippi House race. For me, the main one is that I was looking forward to saying Elwyn Tinklenberg for the next few years.
SOURCE: The Day To Day Show, with Jon Tudor
[http://www.comedycentric.com/tv_shows/thedaytodayshowwithjontudor/headlines_pol.jhtml]
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That's Nothing! The Obamas Haven't Chosen A Dog Yet, But It's Autobiography Is Already Worth $10 Million!
MONDAY: I got so fed up with waiting in line to get a special coffee order that I told the barista to just give me whatever everybody else was having. I figured: better latte than never.
TUESDAY: A good day is when I have more new messages in my inbox than I do in my junk mail box.
WEDNESDAY: I'd have Arianna Huffington's baby any time. I…I'm not sure how that would work, but being willing should count for something!
THURSDAY: Henry Kissinger has said he believes Hillary Clinton would make a great Secretary of State. Be afraid. Be very afraid…
FRIDAY: Would giving government money to bail out the Big Three automakers be a case of lemon aid?
SATURDAY: Apparently, Sarah Palin has been offered $7 million to write a book. Or, should that be "write" a book. After it's been published, do you think she'll be able to tell Katie Couric the title?
SUNDAY: David and Amy Pollard met in the online environment Second Life and were married both there and in real life. When Amy caught David having sex with a character in the virtual world she divorced him in the real world. And people think that letting homosexuals marry is going to undermine the sanctity of marriage?
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots Home Page
[http:suzie.randomthoughts&bloodclots.blogspeck.com]
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Kyl The Messenger
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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The Last Inaction Hero
Prime Minister Stephen Harper, before attending the G20 summit to deal with the global economic crisis, stated, "People around the world, including Canadians, are worried about what this crisis means and they expect their leaders will act to address these problems.
"We must begin by _________________________ *. Assuming that works, our next move would be to __________________ *. If either of these tactics fail, we should not hesitate to ____________________ *. Of course, it would help if we could be doing _________________ * at the same time, but that will depend on some factors that are out of our control. Still, if we take these actions, our economies should be in good shape."
* action to be named at a later date
SOURCE: Glob and Maul
[http://www.globandmaul.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.200801112.eladvote1112_@/BNStory/newsEconomicCatastrophe2008/]
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