Thank you, Caitlin Karkosian, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Oh, yeah. We're living the dream, baby, we're living the dream. Except, we'd like to wake up, now. You know, just to see how things are going. Then, we'll go straight back to living the dream. We promise.
Enjoy,Politicus Poeticus Interruptus
The Franken Expedition
Can anything be worse than being a voterOh, wait. Could it be? Yes. Almost eight months after the election, Coleman has finally conceded and allowed Franken to take the Senate seat. Never mind.
SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/271.html]
more
Rumours of Playtoy magazine's death have been greatly exaggerated.
Yes, it's true that we've had to scale back the Playtoy empire somewhat. We don't have as many parties at the Lego Mansion as we used to, and we had to sell The Playtoy Network to Toys 'R Us. That hurt.
It's no secret that competition from toy porn amateurs distributed over the Internet is cutting into the professional industry's profits. In the matter of Web competition, Playtoy magazine is no different than The New York Times or The Washington Post (although we still have better centrefolds - better than the Post, in any case).
However, we have retrenched and Playtoy magazine, the centrepiece of the Playtoy empire, has come out stronger than ever. Thinner, with fewer of the great toy-centred features that readers have come to expect and more reader generated content, but stronger for all that.
SOURCE: Playtoy Magazine
[http://www.playtoy.com/worldofplaytoy/hmh/hanging/hangin-with-herf-001.html]
more
Dry Humour
Ontarians spent a record $52 million on liquor in one day when they thought the LCBO staff were going on strike (they didn't). To show its gratitude, the LCBO is considering making the third Thursday of every June "Special Going On Strike, Get Your Booze While You Still Can" Day.
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
more
How About Reading The Myth Of The Rational Meerkat?
MONDAY: Have you ever noticed that a guitarist bent over his axe really into his performance looks a lot like somebody throwing up?
TUESDAY: My parents keep telling me how, when they were my age, the news was confined to a half hour on the TV schedule, but seemed to contain more important information than today's 24 hour news networks, which seem to focus on trivia. I guess what they say is true: stupidity expands to fill the air time allotted to news.
WEDNESDAY: A reader recently challenged me by wondering if I knew what a word I had used - feckless - means. Of course I know what the word feckless means. I wouldn't have used the word feckless if I didn't know what it means. The word feckless means...umm...without or lacking in feck.
THURSDAY: Is it just me, or does the clock on the Vista desktop remind you of grade school and government offices?
FRIDAY: Justin Fox has a book out called The Myth of the Rational Market: A History of Risk, Reward and Delusion on Wall Street. Well, duh! Anybody who has watched my uncle Abernathy pick stocks would tell you that there is nothing rational about it! That's why I invest all of my free cash - of which I have none - in hairspray and Twilight DVDs.
SATURDAY: Have you ever wondered why so many of the soldiers expelled from the military for being gay speak Farsi? Is there some connection between homosexuality and facility with foreign languages that has been kept a secret? Somebody get the Kinsey Institute on the phone, stat!
SUNDAY: I was born after man landed on the moon. When I look around me, I see: war, drought, famine, rampant narcissistic emotional insensitivity and injustice (not necessarily in that order). Could somebody explain to me exactly how man landing on the moon changed the world?
SOURCE: Random Thoughts and Blood Clots Home Page
\[http:suzie.randomthoughts&bloodclots.blogspeck.com]
more
The Bank Account's Kind Of Low - Would You Settle For A Reality IOU?
I know that when you live in the insular world of advertising, you can easily get out of touch with...humanity. Still, I cannot imagine what the person who came up with KFC's "Great Canadian Bucket List Sale" promotion could possibly have been thinking. I mean, "chicken so good you'll want it to be the last thing you eat before you die?" Really? That's the line you want to go with? Somebody needs a reality check.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1579952602]
more
Gone, But Not Forgotten (She'll See To That)
3 of a kind beats two pair) Amid rumours that she is planning to run for President in 2012, Sarah Palin has resigned as Governor of Alaska. Why would she give up the Governorship only two and a half years into her term?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
more
Because, Honestly, Wouldn't You Rather Be Sweating In A Park Somewhere?
Whatever Works - CATASTROPHIC FAILSOURCE: Five Second Movie Reviews
[http://www.5secmovrev.com/NOW.htm]
more
Stealth Obituaries Are The Only Available Option
[Is the coast clear? Yes? Okay.]
Former Canadian Governor-General [Hurry up!] Romeo LeBlanc [Go! Go! Go!] has been laid to rest. [Hurry up! I see something coming!] ThefuneralofLeBlanc,whowas81,attractedmanynotableCanadianpoliticia -
MICHAEL JACKSON ALERT! MICHAEL JACKSON ALERT! MICHAEL JACKSON ALERT! Michael Jackson's father, Joe, held a press conference where he farted loudly and insistently. Observers are divided on how this will affect Jackson's attempts to control his son's back catalogue of music.
Dammit!
[It was a valiant effort. Maybe next obituary...]
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
more