Thank you, Rosita Aeaxek, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. See, we always thought Ayn Rand's first name rhymed with "brain," "gain" or "attain." But, no. Apparently, it rhymes with "whine," "swine" or "supine." We will have to reconsider our devotion to Objectivism accordingly.
Enjoy,You'll Laugh. You'll Cry. You'll Need Two Advil To Deal With The Headache Induced By The Explosions.
Precious Transformers. I don't know which scares me more: seeing "Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry present" at the beginning of a movie or seeing "A Michael Bay film." You might think that combining the two into "Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry present a Michael Bay film" would be the worst possible thing to happen to celluloid.
Actually, it's pretty entertaining, although not, I'm sure, in any way that the film's creators could have intended.
SOURCE: Imaginary Movie Database
[http://www.imd.com/title/tt1074360/]
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Palin's Payday
Sarah Palin has denied reports that she asked for a fee of $100,000 to appear at the local Wal*Mart to do her family's grocery shopping. Wal*Mart responded to the reports with a press release stating categorically that it does not pay celebrities to shop in its stores.
Palin cannot deny, however, that an organization called Sarah's BFF has started collecting money, with a goal of raising $100,000, for the express purpose of getting her to her local Wal*Mart.
"I'm not being mercenary," Palin commented about Sarah's BFF's fundraising. "I just want to make tons of money."
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2009/11/01/election/main542915.shtml]
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Finally, Truth In Advertising!
Oath MBA students at the Rottenman School of Business and Shoe Repair make upon graduation:
"I will act honourably and ethically in all my dealings. I will act with moral clarity, grace and nobility. As a manager, my actions will affect the well-being of all stakeholders; accordingly, I will strive to create and sustain value over the long term while maintaining a commitment to social, ethical and global values. I will obey and uphold local and international laws wherever and with whomever I engage in commercial activities.
"I will laugh at what I have just said after a few drinks in the Bull and Ballast campus pub the night of my graduation. If challenged, I will complain that if the University really wanted me to be a moral actor, it should have given me more instruction on the subject than 10 minutes at the end of a macroeconomics lecture. When I enter the workforce, I will immediately surrender all of the previously stated pretty sentiments under pressure from my superiors to increase profit margins no matter the cost to any stakeholders, including my own soul.
"I accept this Rottenman pledge freely and upon my honour."
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/1080963828602347056379463748648263272cahs01.html]
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Which Is Supposed To Be The More Tolerant Country Again?
Differences between Americans and Canadians, #237:
When former President George W. Bush gave a speech in Montreal, protestors: threw so many shoes at the venue where he was speaking, a laundry bin could barely contain them; took out a full-page ad in Le Devoir, endorsed by 48 groups and 440 individuals, that accused Bush of being a war criminal; waved signs that read "1.3 Million Dead Because of Bush" and "Bread Not Bombs for the Children of Iraq," and; burned him in effigy.
When Bush gave a motivational speech in Texas, people shrugged and said, "Yeah, he was our President. Waddya gonna do?"
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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Sounds Like Mixed Messages Day To Me
Congratulations On Being Yourself Day. You know, frankly, we weren't sure you had it in you. But, you pulled it off! You went a whole 24 hours without pretending to be somebody you weren't. Way to go! Pat yourself on the back. Then, if you feel like celebrating, take on the voice, demeanour or look of your favourite movie star, musician or athlete!
SOURCE: The Non-existent Pages
[http://www.utopia.tv/erewhon/index.html]
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Good To See You Learned Something From Your Shrink
In an interview on Fox News, Rush Limbaugh said of President Barack Obama: "I think he's got an out-of-this-world ego. He's very narcissistic. And he's able to focus all attention on him all the time."
The Absurd Ironyometer, head spinning madly out of control, begs for mercy, but none is forthcoming.
SOURCE: Big Alex' Domesday Countdown Page
[http://www.allaboutalex.wha/Domesday/new]
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Giving Omar And His Band Something To Really Howl About
Seven ways the $1.3 million the government of Canada has spent to date to keep Omar Khadr out of the country could have been better spent:
7. Chocolate bars for 650,000 trick or treaters.SOURCE: The Web Page of Lists
[http://www.ListsPage.argh/2009/November/Spent_Government.asp]
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Welcome To The Anglican't Church
An article in Belvoir Angel, an Anglican Church magazine, described people participating in Halloween celebrations as "siding with the devil" and claimed trick or treating uses "blackmail and extortion."
The magazine also demanded that Christmas be moved to January, which is believed to be the actual month of Christ's birth (December having been chosen because it coincided with a pagan festival). It also made some snide remarks about mistletoe that are best left unrepeated considering that it is supposed to be a religious publication.
SOURCE: Unicycle
[http://www.unicycle.com/new.php?p=articles&id=461&but=allis1]
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Forget Uninspired Californian Knowledge
Foul language is used bySOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/284.html]
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