The Daily Me - Arendt Hybertsson de Groote

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The Daily Me Staff

Headline Condemns Biden
Hopes That's Good Enough For The Bnai Brith

The Israeli government's announcement that it plans on approving increased settlement building in East Jerusalem while United States Vice President Joe Biden was visiting the country was obviously not a coincidence.

Biden's presence in Israel was timed to coincide with the announcement in order to embarrass the government of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Clearly, the American Vice President is an anti-Semite!

SOURCE: The Arad Post

[http://www.apost.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=APost/APArticle/ShowFull&cid=1087851591336]
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When Did He Stop Making Soup?

James Cameron on Inside the Actor's Studio.

JAMES LIPTON: Let me tell you how great a director you are.

JAMES CAMERON: No, let me tell you how great a director I am.

LIPTON: You changed the nature of film as a medium.

CAMERON: I [EXPLETIVE DELETED] revolutionized film as a medium!

LIPTON: Do you think it would be fair to say that after Avatar, regular two-dimensional film will never fully satisfy an audience again?

CAMERON: Oh, look, if you're going to underplay my achievements, why don't you just stop asking questions and let me talk for the next 40 minutes?

LIPTON: Uhh…okay.

SOURCE: Drew's Transcript-o-rama

[http://www.transcript-o-rama.com/thetwojameses.shtml]
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And, Still Be In Power

The federal government's announcement that it plans on cutting 245 jobs in Ottawa's bureaucracy sounds impressive, until you realize that most of the positions are actually vacant. Only this government could cut jobs and still not save any money!

SOURCE: Toronto Startle

[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1688191831813&call_pageid=928335238492&col=96466972154]
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Meh - Where Did Thomas Walkom Get HIS Economics Degree?

"It isn't a recovery without the jobs" - Toronto Star

SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines

[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1276233238]
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A Guy Named Fred From Oshawa Protested
A Guy Named Joe From Vancouver Had A Beer And Burped Loudly

One of the most surprising aspects of the Conservative budget was the fact that future energy projects will not be assessed by the Canadian Environmental Assessment Agency. They will be assessed by a guy named Bob from Calgary.

"It's an honour to be chosen by my government to serve in such an important capacity," a guy named Bob from Calgary said. "Uhh…what's an environmental assessment?"

SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned

[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2010/03/16/509727.html]
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What Could Geese Possibly Have Against Health Care?

Americans for Prosperity had a two-fer last week: the Honk No programme, which encouraged voters to drive around Washington honking their horns as a protest against health care reform, benefitted anti-reform and climate denial groups, both of which are clients. However, Americans for Prosperity also represents cigarette companies; why were they left out?

If Americans for Prosperity was on the ball, they would have suggested that protestors smoke while driving around and honking. Not only that, but they could throw their butts out the window at any Democrats they drove past. (But, with all due respect - after all, this was an act of civil disobedience.)

Of course, encouraging smoking would increase the incidence of heart disease, lung cancer and other illnesses, which would put further stress on the health care system, which would lead to a greater need for health care reform. Still, is that any reason for Americans for Prosperity to play favourites among its childre - we mean, clients?

SOURCE: The Postington Wash

[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2010Mar19.html]
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An Open And Shut (Your Mouth) Case

The Conservative Approach To Open Government

The problem with forming the government
Is all those other parties in Parliament
Who are always getting in your face
About how much information you release, and its pace
They're not the government - hello!
They think just because they received a few votes, they have a right to know?

If there is information that secret must stay
Call on MPs Putov, Stahl and DeLay

Your soldiers capture a very bad man
And hand him over to the government of Afghanistan
Do they torture?
Oh, sure!
But, you have no choice, your soldiers must do it
Until the Liberals attempt to tie you to it

You duck and weave and calls for investigations reject
But, your efforts to tar your detractors as being against the troops are having no effect
Before all of your political capital is spent,
On fighting people's judgment, Androcles Putov (Athabaska-Tarr-Feathers) suggests: prorogue Parliament!
On this, you can bet it:
By the time Parliament returns, everybody will forget it!

To keep embarrassing information out of harm's way
Look to MPs Putov, Stahl and DeLay

Your government has given feal-
Ty to the state of Israel
But government agency Rights and Democracy and its minions
Have been supportive of the rights of Palestinians
Replacing senior staff with people who will toe the line
At the arms-length agency has been like stepping on a landmine

You pass the matter on to Mountainview-Valley MP Geraldine Stahl
Who knows exactly what to do with the ball
When a Commons committee names all the witnesses it can muster
She keeps them from testifying with a filibuster!
How brilliant was this? One of the people whose knowledge the public may never know
Is the former head of the agency's widow!

To keep the opposition from using your mistakes to make hay
You really need MPs Putov, Stahl and DeLay

You want to continue slashing taxes, but, what's that you say?
When you return to Parliament, the Afghan detainee issue won't go away?
A Parliamentary committee wants documents that show
Who knew what was happening and when they did know
it?
Oh, shit.

Artimus DeLay, representing Carleton-Curfew
Knows exactly what to do
Ask a famous, well-respected judge
Which documents you have to release and which you can fudge
Give him a narrow mandate, and a small document selection
And make sure he doesn't report before the next election!

When politics is a game you intend to win, not just play
You can always rely on MPs Putov, Stahl and DeLay

SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered

[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/318.html]
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