Thank you, Terry Firma, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, are you the Terry Firma? We mean, of course you are - how many Terry Firmas could there possibly be in the world? Oh, man, we have all of your comic books! But, aah, of course, we got them from our parents. Because of, you know, the whole age thi - Terry Firma reads our little source for all of your transnational information news needs. Wow. It almost makes us forget how Arendt Hybertsson de Grootes reads our little source for all of your transnational information news needs. Or, for that matter, how Buckaroo Bonzai reads our little source for all of your transnational information news needs.
We...uhh...actually, we find this whole hero worship thing kind of confusing.
Enjoy,It's Like Crickets, Only Without The Cadmium
According to the right-wing group-think tank Fraser Institute, government economic stimulus spending had a minor role in improving Canada's gross domestic product, and, therefore, had little to do with the country's economic recovery.
According to Conservative Party advertising, government stimulus spending was central to the country's economic recovery.
Shhh! Shhh - do you...do you hear that? That popping sound? That's the sound of the heads of conservatives across the country exploding.
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=
1088591331813&call_pageid=968335278492&col=968666972154]
more
It's A Nice Place To Visit, But...
The Future [1]
Here's to Future Days: [2]SOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/317.html]
more
And, You Think Joe Biden Has To Choose HIS Words More Carefully!
Panic is growing as, in the wake of passage of sweeping health care legislation in the United States, evangelical Christians throughout the world have disappeared.
"One moment, Mimi was shopping for automatic cantaloupe for the extensible deer," said boyfriend Alfred Witt-Ness, "the next, her clothes were lying in a heap on the floor! It would have been a neat trick...if it was a trick..."
Tens, possibly hundreds of thousands of people could be affected.
Meanwhile, Israel has attacked Iran and Saudi Arabia has attacked Israel in retaliation, starting a war that threatens to engulf the entire world.
"Really?" House minority leader John Boehner responded to the events. "All of that is really happening? I can't - you know, when I said that if health care reform passed we would be facing Armageddon, I was being a bit...hyperbolic. You know, exaggerating for maximum emotional impact. I never thought - wow."
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2010/03/23/armageddon/main542715.shtml]
more
Coulter? I Never Even Met Her!
As a result of the cancellation of her speaking engagement at the University of Ottawa, right-wing pandering pundit Ann Coulter has asked Canadian right-wing pundit panderer Ezra Levant to file a human rights complaint on her behalf.
Several hours later, when the Ontario Human Rights Commission stopped laughing, it said, "No, seriously? Ann Coulter is now concerned about human rights?' and laughed for several more hours.
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2010/03/24/508227.html]
more
Obviously, He Was Talking About The Liberation Of Jerusalem In 165 BCE
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
more
Permed And Dangerous
ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT
Canadian Border Services officials are warned to look for people with the following characteristics: white; well dressed; having a deep sense of entitlement; quick to anger, slow to apologize. These people, who often travel with gangs of "aids," are likely to be Conservative Cabinet ministers. While most are peaceful, some will, when asked to comply with a lawful request, loudly challenge CBS officials, often with rude or insulting language. They are not known to be dangerous to anything other than the image the Conservative Party would like to maintain that its MPs are sane, reasonable people.
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-794637486482632723017307cahs01.html]
more
Of Course, The Dalai Lama Is Sure That Everybody Is A Very Nice Man
In order to brace himself against misfortune, golfer Tiger Woods has taken to wearing a Buddhist bracelet known as a pirith noola. "You might think that this thin bracelet wouldn't be very effective in helping me rise above my own worst impulses," Woods told a press conference, "but...uhh...it's thicker than it looks, and...and...and I plan on wearing it for a long time. A very long time."
In response, the Dalai Lama put out a statement that read, in part: "I am sure that Mister Woods is a very nice man, but I have nothing to do with him. Really. Nothing whatsoever. Please be clear on this point: no connection. At all. None."
SOURCE: Unicycle
[http://www.unicycle.com/new.php?p=articles&id=478&but=allis1]
more
They Seem Awfully Delicate
Two major Canadian military lobby groups have argued that NATO must reinvent itself as an organization dedicated to wide-ranging nation-building. This is at the same time as the Canadian government is trying to reinvent its military as a kick-ass, take no prisoners, kill the scumbags fighting unit.
You hear that? Listen. Listen closely. Do you hear it now? That's the sound of conservatives, who had just gotten out of the hospital, having their heads explode again.
SOURCE: Toronto Startle
[http://www.thestartle.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestartle/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=
1088591231813&call_pageid=968335278492&col=968666972154]
more