Thank you, clickmaggot2017, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, C9? You sunk our battleship! Time for us to initiate the nuclear option...
Enjoy,I'll Bet The President Wishes He Had A Fortress Of Solitude Right About Now
Republican Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has charged that President Barack Obama is not doing enough to solve the British Petroleum oil spill crisis in the Gulf of Mexico. "He could put on his cape," McConnell told a slavering press conference, "fly down to the Gulf and seal the leak with his heat vision. Why hasn't he?"
Meanwhile, Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner warned President Obama of the dangers of moving too quickly. "If the President tries to seal the leak with his heat vision," Boehner told a different, but equally slavering press conference, "he could cause the oil already in the water to start to burn. This would be a catastrophic disaster to Louisiana and the other Gulf states!"
President Obama, who was consulting with his top advisers on the crisis, was unavailable for comment.
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2010May28.html]
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Sex and the City 2 may be one of the worst films I've ever seen. There is no plot to speak of, not even a series of loosely connected events. The acting is shallow. The celebration of (really expensive) consumerism is not only NOT empowering, it actually insults women. And, don't get me started about the slurs against homosexuals and Arabs!
Of course, you must see it, because even a crappy sequel chick flick hit is better than a failure, which will only serve to set back the cause of making more movies aimed at women.
SOURCE: Womyn's e-Vents
[http://www.womynsevents.fem/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1081]
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They Should Have Dubbed It - Nobody Likes Reading Subtitles
In its never-ending quest to embarrass itself in the name of national security, it was recently revealed that the Central Intelligence Agency doctored video of Osama bin Laden to make it seem like he was boasting about having gay conquests. They did this by employing 14 year-old Web pranksters to replace the subtitles of what he actually said with the sexually oriented subtitles.
It didn't occur to them that their target audience, young Muslim males, could understand what bin Laden was actually saying and would ignore the subtitles entirely.
SOURCE: CBBS News
[http://www.cbbsnews.com/stories/2010/05/21/terrorism/main582615.shtml]
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Simple. To The Point. Plain Language. He Would Have Been Proud
Jocko Thomas - 30 -
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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Pride Takes The Strangest Forms...
According to new estimates, the Gulf of Mexico oil spill has surpassed the Exxon Valdez as the worst in US history. Well, I should hope so! The United States is not some third world country that doesn't even know how to properly despoil its own territorial waters! Have we not learned anything about oil spills in the decades since the Valdez? Sure, we have! Now, we make them twice as deadly with half the capital investment! We do everything bigger in America! We do everything better in America! And, that includes filling our life-giving waters with toxic sludge!
GO US! GO US! GO US!
SOURCE: Red State Blues
[http://www.redstateblues.com/diaries/jerry_in_geo/2010/may/27/murica-murica-murica-whoot-whoot-whoot/]
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Former Prime Minister Continues To Believe In His Oliphantasy
2.1 million) In the wake of Justice Jeffrey Oliphant's report excoriating former Conservative Prime Minister Brian Mulroney for taking money from German...we're not really sure what he was, Karlheinz Schrieber, the question on everybody's minds is: why hasn't Mulroney used the many opportunities he has been given to provide a clear, straightforward explanation of what happened, an explanation that would clear his reputation and remove the tarnish from his legacy? Well, why didn't he?SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles
[http://www.lespagesauxfolles.ca]
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Shrill, Baby, Shrill!
* But, of course, only in places where it is perfectly safe, because nobody wants to hurt the environment. **
** That has always been my position, even if I only expressed it two years after originally saying, "Drill, baby, drill!" ***
*** I mean, really, "Drill, baby, drill!" is just something you say on the campaign trail. I can't believe anybody would actually take such an obviously empty slogan seriously! ****
**** Oh, and my saying this has nothing to do with the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Really. It has always been my position, you betcha!
SOURCE: Politics For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/home.asp?did=688&dir=bb]
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When You're Not In A Hole, Don't Start Digging!
Canadians are warming up to the idea of throwing away their money in the hope of getting better medical care, a new poll shows. Over two thirds of Canadians said that they were "very interested" or "interested" in digging a deep pit, throwing money into it and setting the money on fire.
"Given the quality of medical care in Canada, this comes as something of a surprise," said Doctor Angelina McPudding. "I guess all of the money the Canadian Shovel Manufacturers Association has spent advertising and lobbying the government has paid off!"
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=49ddccd7-hi6fi3-9f2675-a2eb4cc6a528]
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