Thank you, Clemmie Skiffington, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we decided to take up the cause of Banned Books Week (September 25 to October 2). So. We just have on question for the book burners among us: why haven't you banned The House at Pooh Corner yet? The main character is a gluttonous wimp who teaches children that it is okay to be a complete moron as long as you are cute and cuddly, and whose best friends are a nihilist kangaroo and a hedonistic tiger...thing. Oh, and you just have to know that Christopher Robin will need therapy when he grows up! Come on, American Family Values for the Family organizations, get with the programme! Burn the heck out of The House at Pooh Corner before it corrupts any more children!
Enjoy,Now, If Civil Rights Groups Will Just Cut It Out With Those Pesky Lawsuits...
Stephen Harper's Conservative government has pushed a law through Parliament that makes it a criminal offence to be mentally ill on a city street. Not only that, but the punishment is severe: death by firing squad without trial.
"The Walking Under the Influence of Insanity Act is by no means radical," said Justice Minister Rob Nicholson. "In fact, we're just changing the law to reflect the reality of life on the street."
SOURCE: aye Weakly
[http://www.aye.net/]
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Finding The Will Power To Stop Is Your Problem
It's the event everybody at the office is talking about - The Event. That's right - everybody is talking about it, even Joel in tech support, and he never talks to anybody! Jennyfer in accounting is talking about it, and, as far as anybody can tell, she doesn't even own a TV! The fish in the tank in reception are talking about it - AND THEY'RE FISH! Talk about it, talk about it, talk about, really, that's all anybody in the office does any more. Talk about this stupid TV show. You can see by the look on their faces that executives are concerned about the drop in our productivity, but they can't say anything because they're talking about The Event!" We all can't wait to get home - maybe we'll be able to talk about something else. I hope so. I hope to god so.
Watch The Event Wednesday nights on CITY TV. It will get you talking!
SOURCE: Ukrainian TV Guide
[http://www.tvguide.ua/listings/index.asp?referrerID=0&returnurl=%2Flistings%2Findex%2Easp%3F®Mode=0]
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Better Than Having Your Hand Up Somebody Else's Skirt And Your Head Up Your...Uhh...Yeah...
When it comes to Afghanistan, you've either got your hand in the till or your head in the sand. Either way, I don't believe this is a military posture conducive to victory.
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Suck It Up, Charlie Brown!
Two Cartoons That You Loved As A Kid, But, Rereading Them Now That You Are An Adult, You Realize Are Full Of Darkness That Makes Them Unsuitable To Be Read By Your Kids
1. PeanutsSOURCE: The Web Page of Lists
[http://www.ListsPage.argh/2010/September/Toons_For_Our_Tines.asp]
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A Nice Place To Visit, But You Wouldn't Want To Try And Raise A Family On A Labourer's Wages There
Welcome to Businesslandia, an alternate world where all of corporate Canada's deepest held fantasies are actually true.
Now, on Earth Prime, the increasing corporate ownership and control of Canada's businesses by foreign (largely American) companies would be seen as a contributor to the country's innovation and productivity problems. There is no incentive for a company to do innovative research at its branch plant in a foreign country. Just the opposite, in fact: political advantage usually only accrues from innovation in a company's home country.
Yet, a paper from the Conference Board of Canada says that the best way to cure this problem is greater international trade. Only in Businesslandia!
SOURCE: Alternate Reality News Service
[http://www.arns.com/sinbin?id=11322640310640315611fx]
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I...I Don't Even Know What Man Pants Are
Even in a mediocre TV Season, The Defenders and Blue Bloods stand out as conservative, old-line TV dramas. Sarah Palin said that female Arizona governor Jan Brewer "has the cojones that our President does not have to look out for all Americans, not just Arizonans, but all Americans."
The Defenders is one of those old-fashioned, male-centric legal dramas that attempts to make the vulgar shenanigans of cheapo lawyers seem like noble, manly activity. Republican senatorial candidate Carl Paladino wondered whether Democratic rival Andrew Cuomo had "the cojones" to debate him, begging Cuomo "for the first time in your life be a man."
Crude jokes ensue. "You know," Christine O'Donnell said of an FEC complaint by the Delaware Republican Party after rumours began circulating that her primary opponent was gay, "these are the kind of cheap, underhanded, un-manly tactics that we've come to expect from Obama's favorite Republican, Mike Castle. You know, I released a statement today, saying Mike this is not a bake-off, get your man-pants on."
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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The Electorate Needs To Wipe The Smile Off The Pug's Smug Mug
In the run-up to the failed (so far) effort to kill the long gun registry, Conservative House leader John Baird blasted Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff and NDP leader Jack Layton as being members of the Toronto elites. Expect this to be a campaign theme in the next federal election.
I would like to thank Baird for making the choice in the election, whenever it happens clear. We can vote for a party whose leader is a member of Canada's elite, or we can vote for a party whose members have been bought and paid for by Canada's elite.
SOURCE: Ottawa Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/OttawaStunned/News/2010/08/25/203527.html]
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Political Vaudeville
Q: Why would the red, white and blue, never met a war they didn't love, chickenshit hawk Republicans in the Senate all vote against a military appropriations bill?
A: Don't ask, don't tell.
Q: But, I am asking you.
A: And, I'm telling you.
Q: So, what's the answer?
A: Don't ask, don't tell.
Q: How am I going to know if I don't ask?
A: Asked and answered.
Q: What was the answer?
A: Don't ask, don't tell.
Q: What's the point of asking if you won't tell me?
A: But, I did tell you!
Q: You told me what?!
A: Don't ask, don't tell!
Q: Humph! Funny way of answering a question, if you ask me!
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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