Thank you, Olender Pretzelbender, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, we watched the episode of flashforward that took place partially in Toronto. We know - we know - our television is...slow. Four to six months slow. Anyway, we couldn't help but notice a huge maple leaf on the wall of the airport, and, hitting ourselves in the forehead, thought, "How many times have we wandered aimlessly through Pearson with no idea as to where we were? If only somebody had hought to paint maple leaves on the walls, at least we would have had a clue what country we were in!" Better than beavers painted on the walls, we suppose. Still, for a show that had shot exteriors in Los Angeles and Washington, we were surprised that they would get so chintzy about shooting in Canada, especially since the series was shot primarily in Vancouver. If they couldn't have sent a second unit to Toronto, why not set the scene in Vancouver and just walk out of studio and shoot it?
When we run Hollywood, boy are things going to be different!
Enjoy,That'll Show The Bas - What?
Yesterday, Boonmee Metzger was an unknown boot fisherman in southern Saskatchewan. Today, he is known across the country as the first person to be arrested for not filling in the long-form census.
"People kept saying that we couldn't use the threat of incarceration as an argument against the long-form census," Prime Minister Stephen Harper explained, "because nobody had ever been arrested because of the law. Well, now we can."
"I...I'm not sure that makes sense," Metzger commented through his attorney (who was standing in front of him at the time). "You know, I've always voted Conservative, but if I get out of jail in time for the next election, I may just not vote at all!"
SOURCE: Vancouver Stunned
[http://www.canoodle.com/NewsStand/VancouverStunned/News/2005/01/22/509727.html]
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Where, Oh, Where Shall We Find Such Comic Greatness In the Future?
CathySOURCE: Poetry, Cornered
[http://www.cibc.com/ca/personal/poetrycorner/527.html]
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Yesterday's Climate Change Deniers Are Tomorrow's Climate Change Entrepreneurs
Some see climate change as an international disaster, but others see it as a tremendous economic opportunity. A more temperate climate could, for instance, allow Canada to grow a wider variety of food crops for a larger part of the year.
Better yet, so many other areas of the world will dry up and become unable to grow their own food that starvation will be rampant throughout the world. Thus, there will be a huge market for the food that Canada will grow!
When looked at in that way, how could anybody oppose climate change?
SOURCE: The Financial Riposte
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/financialriposte/story.html?id=94ddccd7-f6f3-4a4a-9f25-a2eb4cc7a528]
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In Response To Criticism, Colbert Invites Congressional Subcommittee To Appear On His Show
For me, criticizing Stephen Colbert is like yelling abuse in the mirror. Still, we all go through periods of self-loathing, and this must be one of mine, so I have to ask: Stephen, what the Hell were you doing giving testimony on migrant workers to a subcommittee of the House Judiciary Committee? Okay, I've watched his performance several times, now, something I would not have ordinarily done because Judiciary Committee hearings are about as interesting as watching paint dry on Vice President Joe Biden's head. And, I've learned more about migrant workers than a sane American would want to know. But, really, what was the point of it all?
SOURCE: The O'Meilly Factor
[http://www.foxynews.com/story/0,2933,96207,00.html]
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Don't Fund, You'll Only Encourage Them
According to a newly published study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, taking a placebo instead of a female version of Viagra is enough to increase the sex drive of women. Oh, really? I just have one question. (The sentence before last wasn't it - I was being rhetorical. Well, okay, if you're going to be anal about it, I just have two questions.)
How do the researchers know that the drug didn't just make the women better at faking it?
SOURCE: Womyn's e-Vents
[http://www.womynsevents.fem/article.cfm/dyn/aid/1181]
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You Wouldn't Like Him When He's Angry
According to a statement by an unnamed White House insider, President Obama said "Darnit!" yesterday, his greatest show of emotion since taking office. Reaction from the right was as swift as it was merciless. Or, possibly meretricious - I sometimes get the two confused.
"The President has shown he has an explosive temper," said Rush Limbaugh. "Any little thing could set him off. Do we really want somebody with such a hair trigger in charge of the international fight against Islamo-Notniceism?"
"The President came to Washington saying he wanted to change the tone of the place," said House Minority leader John Boehner. "If he was serious, he would start with the uncontrollable anger that he recently displayed!"
According to White House sources, the President's outburst was a response to stubbing his toe. He plans to wear steel-toed work boots in future to ensure that there is no repeat of the incident.
SOURCE: The Podunk Mash & Enquirer
[http://www.podunkmash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49882-2010Sep21.html]
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Or, Before They Are Even Threats
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Yesterdays Climate Change Deniers Are Tomorrow's Kindergarten Teachers
Are you afraid of climate change? Do you want to learn about it in a way that won't scare the nipples off you? Come to www.climatechangekindergarten.dum. How is it possible that there can be a Web site that gives you the real goods on climate change that will not scare you? We won't lie to you - we're going to lie to you. But, it's a nice, warm, fuzzy lie, a lie that will make the world seem like a better, happier place. And, really, in these uncertain times, isn't that what everybody wants - isn't that what everybody deserves?
Climate Change Kindergarten - not sponsored in any way by the oil industry. Well, not in any way that anybody would be able to trace, anyway.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1011952607]
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