The (Somewhat Less Than) Divine Sarah

Think Of It As An Organic Teleprompter

A photograph of Sarah Palin delivering a speech at a National Tea Party Convention in Nashville showed that she had written notes to remind herself of her key themes during a question and answer session.

"That's nothing," Palin stated on her blog when confronted by the photographic evidence. "Bill Clinton used to get women to write their names, measurements and phone numbers on his left arm! And, FDR wouldn't have been able to get out of bed if he hadn't written which meds he had to take in the morning on the back of his hand!"

SOURCE: The Postington Wash

So, It's Okay If I Call Her A Big Business Bimbo Or Corporate Slut...Because It's Satire?
Oh, I Think I'm Gonna Loooooove Her Presidency!

"Rahm's slur on all God's children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it's heartbreaking." - Palin, demanding President Obama's Chief of Staff Emmanuel be fired for calling plans by liberal groups to run ads against moderate Democrats "fucking retarded"

"Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult's taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards." - Rush Limbaugh, in response to the Emmanuel kerfuffle

"Rush Limbaugh was using satire." - Palin, defending...you know

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

The New Alliance of Referees?
Native Atlantic Raisins?
Tell Me! Tell Me! Tell Me! Tell Me!

1 god) What is NAR? a) Netherlands Army of Reactionaries (but, of course, because the political party's name is not originally in English, the translation won't have the same acro - wait a minute...!)
b) Nubile Arctic Radar
c) Not Another Religion (that preaches that everybody who doesn't believe what we believe is going to Hell, so you better get with the programme, because the world is going to end very soon and everybody will be judged, and that includes you, buster, and - uhh - nope, we're nothing like that)

2 scary) What does this have to do with Sarah Palin? a) according to the Vatican, it means she's going to hell
b) the Wasilla Assembly of God church is deeply involved with both Third Wave activities and theology. The Third Wave is a revival of the theology of the Latter Rain tent revivals of the 1950s and 1960s led by William Branham and others. It is based on the idea that in the end times there will be an outpouring of supernatural powers on a group of Christians that will take authority over the existing church and the world. The believing Christians of the world will be reorganized under the Fivefold Ministry and the church restructured under the authority of Prophets and Apostles and others anointed by God. The young generation will form "Joel's Army" to rise up and battle evil and retake the earth for God. Could the connection be any more obvious?
c) oh, yeah. She's definitely going to hell. And, people who are serious about the separation of church and state aren't all that crazy about her any more, either

SOURCE: Les Pages aux Folles

When Talking Points Become Shouting Points

After Sarah Palin's Fraser Institute sponsored speech in Alberta, we asked a member of the organization for some insights into her personality.

"Sarah Palin is charming, poised and clever," responded Fraser Institute senior economist Niels Veldhuis.

But, isn't there something more to her?

Veldhuis gritted his teeth and replied: "Sarah Palin is...charming...poised...and clever."

Surely, something else must have -

"CHARMING. POISED. CLEVER!" Veldhuis shouted and ran away.

Okay, then.

SOURCE: Festerin' Report

Has She Forsaken You, Oh Your Darling?

Sarah Palin hasn't been in the news for 35 hours, 47 minutes and...20 seconds. There's probably a simple explanation for this. You...you don't think anything has happened to her, do you? Oh, my god! She's been kidnapped by a SOCIALIST LUNATIC! That's it! What else could explain the fact that Sarah hasn't been in the news for 35 hours...48 minutes and seven...eight...nine seconds? Have you people no SHAME? I bet right now Sarah is being driven in a PRIUS to an undisclosed destination in a RAINFOREST somewhere where she will be fed VEGAN DISHES while being forced to watch videos of WOMEN HAVING ABORTIONS! MONSTERS! For the love of all that is holy and decent, WILL YOU NOT SET OUR SARAH FREE?

SOURCE: Red State Blues

But, Have You Considered Bikini Mud Wrestling?

At a fundraiser for Senator Michele Bachmann (R, Twilight Zone), you can get a picture of yourself with her and Sarah Palin for $10,000. Ten. Thousand. Dollars. Will they be nude? Cause, frankly, that's the only picture of them I can imagine being worth $10,000!

SOURCE: Bill's Bitter Pills

And, How Is That Talkey-Englishey Stuff Working Out For You?

"A year later, I've got to ask the supporters of all that [Obama agenda], how is that hopey-changey stuff working out for you?" - Palin addressing a tea party convention

SOURCE: No Comment Quotes

Well! That Was A Lot Of Wasted Drama...

Phew! Okay. She's back. Our Sarah's back. And, we can get our picture taken with her! It only costs $10,000! Uhh...does anybody have $10,000 they can lend us? No, seriously, it's for a good cause.

SOURCE: Red State Blues

People Who Are Operated On In Glass Hospitals Shouldn't Throw Red Meat

In a speech to the Fraser Institute in Calgary, Sarah Palin told a story of how her brother burned his ankle in the 1960s. The family drove across the border to Whitehorse to get it treated.

This is not the first time she has told this story, however. Sort of. In 2007, Palin gave an interview with the Skeptical Inquirer in which she said: "I remember my brother, he burned his ankle in some little kid accident thing and my parents had to put him in a rocket and rush him over to Tau Ceti and I think, isn't that kind of ironic now. Zooming into outer space, getting health care from another galaxy."

SOURCE: Glob and Maul