Headlines are Still Waiting for the Peace Dividend

He'll Need More Than A Compliant Media When He Takes Berlin With His Celeb Tactics

"Karl Rove takes New York with celeb tactics" - Globe and Mail

What Are You Talking About?
They Win Conservatives Votes Just Fine

"Tough-on-crime policies don't work, study finds" - Toronto Star

What If They Involve Yogurt?

"NO EXPIRY DATE ON CHASING DREAMS" - National Post

Mmm...Dinner...Dinner Jacket - Tough Call

"These days, there's no excuse not to own your own dinner jacket" - Globe and Mail

Supercalafridg - Uhh, Supercabala - Supercalafraga - Supercalafornia - Oh, Dammit! Are You Sure?

"When 'sorry' is harder than the hardest word" - Toronto Star

Obviously, The Country Is Moving Very Slowly...

"China moves to cool yuan dispute
As US Congress ramps up pressure, envoy to visit Washington in effort to open dialogue" - Globe and Mail

"Hu rebuffs Obama on Yuan, says Beijing will not be pressured" - Globe and Mail

Who Would Be Dumb Enough To Eat A Hockey - Oh

"Second company probes lead levels in hockey sticks" - Globe and Mail

Who Is This Imposter And What Have You Done With The Former Fed Chairman?

"Greenspan says tighter rein needed on Wall St." - Toronto Star

Well, You Wouldn't Want The Batch To Go Stale, Would You?

"Fresh batch of taxpayer-funded flyers in the mail
House voted to end the practice of ten-per-centers but motion has not been acted upon" - Globe and Mail

The Preferred Term Is "Compassion Challenged"

"Don't call me right-wing, Rossi insists" - Toronto Star

It's Not That We're Not Grateful That You Saved Us From Ourselves, But...

"Massive deficits have investors on edge" - Globe and Mail

Is That A Polite Way To Say He Has A Low Sperm Count?
Because, These Days, It's Okay To Talk About It Openly

"His Great Big Sea is now home to two pint-sized swimmers" - National Post

Hey! - This Might Just Work Out...For Them...Again...

"Ten more agree to 'say on pay'
Shareholder says he's not finished" - Globe and Mail

"Shareholders overwhelmingly endorse exec pay
Say-on-pay voters decline to give firms a thumping on the issue" - Globe and Mail

Pity - Lots Of Pity

"DRIPS secret to success" - Globe and Mail

Oh, Liberal Newspaper, You're So Adorable!
Never Grow Up!

"Don't sell out core industries" - Toronto Star

Sure It Dogrrblex Verblenjenhissenses - DAMMIT!

"Spontaneity doesn't just happen" - Globe and Mail

What Would Be The Point If It Didn't?

"Study may have treatment implications" - Globe and Mail

Just Don't Ask How She Gets It Into Her

"Madonna is into coconut water" - Toronto Star

They're Not Eating...With Extreme Prejudice!

"MOSCOW SUICIDE BOMBING
Violent Caucasus and the iron fast" - Globe and Mail

World Shrugs
Atlas Complains World Stealing His Gig

"RICKY MARTIN TELLS WORLD HE'S GAY" - Toronto Star

Answering That Question Is The Subject Of My Next Book

"Abba members on reunion: 'Why not?'" - Globe and Mail

And, He Still Made More Than 95 Per Cent Of People On The Planet

"SunLife CEO's pay fell 42 per cent last year" - Globe and Mail

When, With A Majority, He Doesn't Have To Care What Anybody Thinks?

"When is Harper going to raise a storm over real issue?" - National Post

Headline Ranks High On Low Comprehensibility Scale

"Canada ranks high in low business costs" - Globe and Mail

History Plans To Fake Left, Duck Right

"BRAZIL
Presidential aide resigns to make run at history" - Toronto Star

Stupidity Also Played A Major Role

"Crisis not driven just by greed" - National Post

Eww! Cannibals!

"Time is right for food court king to eat some rivals" - Globe and Mail

Industry CEO Two Years Too Late

"Citi heavyweights deny role in collapse" - Globe and Mail

"Industry CEO warns of 'irrationality' - Globe and Mail

But, Of Course, He Denies It Completely

"OJ could reduce impact of fast food" - Toronto Star

Especially When They're In Your Great Big Sea

"Count your eggs, not your chickens" - National Post

You Go In To Remove A Wart
You Come Out With A New Spleen

"U.K. investigates 800,000 organ transplant errors" - Toronto Star

And, How Has That Worked For Them?

"Church's fear of scandal led to cover-ups" - Toronto Star

And, How Is That Working Out For Them?

"Breakaway Anglican group requests union with Rome" - National Post