@bill: DUDE!
@ted: dude?
@bill: I cant feel my toz!
@ted: r u stabbin ur toz wid a fork?
@bill: no
@ted: then y would u feel dem?
@bill: u don't understand
@ted: sur i do. put ur hand on ur toz
@bill: dude! im txting here!
@ted: ur other hand dude
@bill: o. right. k.
@ted: now, cn u feel ur toz?
@bill: few. still der. LOL tx, dude
@ted: what im here 4
@bill: ur not here
@ted: figur o speech, dude, figur o speech - do not tak literal
@bill: o. k. im hungry
@ted: so get urself sum fud
@bill: I dunno where it is
@ted: don't u have a...a place where u keep fud? What do u call it? A...a...a
@bill: stove, u mean?
@ted: no, i dont think dats teh word
@bill: not stove?
@ted: pretty sure not stove
@bill: toastr oven?
@ted: don't u toast things in a toaster ovn?
@bill: o. makes sense. fudge?
@ted: no, no. u r confusin what u eat with what u keep it in
@bill: i sur culd us some fudge right now
@ted: focus! whers fud?
@bill: table lamp?
@ted: u keep fud in a table lamp?
@bill: I DON'T KNOW! Y U THINK I ASK?
@ted: k. k. don't get nickrs twisted in not. Where is fud thing?
@bill: R U MAKIN FUN O ME?
@ted: no no. listen. where is it in house?
@bill: o. umm. dont no
@ted: u do eat, rite? Human metabolism cant function widout fud
@bill: rite. i eat
@ted: k where did u get fud?
@bill: woman - maybe mom - got it 4 me
@ted: k where mom?
@bill: dunno. havnt seen her in long time
@ted: did u ever get fud for self?
@bill: maybe. probly. hard 2 remember when so hungry
@ted: think. where was fud when u got it?
@bill: I DONT NO!
@ted: k. look around
@bill: k
@ted: do u see fud ting?
@bill: umm, what duz it look lik?
@ted: umm, a box, maybe?
@bill: YES! YES! Theres a box right in front of me!
@ted: duz it have picturz?
@bill: ooh. Yes. Cat is sawing off other cats head with dental floss. ROFLMAO!
@ted: that box not 4 fud
@bill: no?
@ted: itz a TV set, dude
@bill: o :-(
@ted: any other boxes?
@bill: i c 1 on a table
@ted: can u c whats in it?
@bill: gimme a sec... fud?
@ted: what does it look lik?
@bill: its long...round...brown...............
@ted: culd b a hot dog, but
@bill: but?
@ted: its probly a cigar. what duz it smell like?
@bill: my grandfather
@ted: DUDE! IT'S A CIGAR! DO NOT EAT! I REPEAT: DO NOT EAT! IT WILL MAKE U SICK!
@bill: but I am so hungry
@ted: k. go into teh next room
@bill: u mean, get up?
@ted: yes
@bill: off my couch?
@ted: yes
@bill: lik, move around & stuff?
@ted: DUDE! do you want to eat r dont u
dude?
dude?
DUDE!
@bill: im thinkin! im thinkin!
@ted: OMG! Nichlas Car iz rite!
@bill: who dat?
@ted: author of buk called teh shallows: wat teh Internet iz doing 2 our brainz
@bill: what duz he say?
@ted: teh Internet is making us stoopid
@bill: not genetics?
@ted: nope
@bill: not environmental toxins dat r destroyin r immune systems & probly brainz, 2?
@ted: parently not
@bill: teh Interwebs?
@ted: yeah. u cant hav serious thots in 140 characterz. thinking bcoms superficial. u cant...umm...sumting else, he sez...
@bill: is it important?
@ted: i tink so, yeah - o, yeah, u cant follow complex argumentz ne mor
@bill: where hav I herd that b4?
@ted: Aristotle
@bill: dead Greek guy?
@ted: yeah. He said writing wuld make ppl stoopid cuz they wuldnt hav to remember facts
@bill: did it?
@ted: i don't see how. i mean, if writing made us stoopid, how could we hav invented teh Interwebs?
@bill: dat all?
@ted: no. moviez radio TV - sum ppl tink dey all mak us stoopid
@bill: dat would b a lot o stoopid
@ted: zactly
@bill: so y u think Niclaus Cart is rite?
@ted: no
@bill: but u said u thot he wuz rite
@ted: i wuz confuzed
@bill: so, teh kidz r alrite
@ted: teh kidz r alrite
@bill: so, y am I gettin so hungry?
@ted: sigh. lets figure dis out logically