Les Pages Aux Folles: (Who Is Bartlett?)'s Quotations
(Who Is Bartlett?)'s Quotations
Not All Economic Stimulus Packages Are Created Equal
"So, these Conservative ministers, like previous Liberal ones, tell Canadians they must have this extremely expensive jet to create jobs."
- Jeffrey Simpson, writing about the CF-18 fighter jet in the Globe and Mail
"Temporary stimulus measures" will be wound down "as the economy recovers."
- Finance Minister Jim Flaherty
That's As Good An Explanation Of The Bush Presidency As Any
"When he used the wrong words, we learned to figure out what he meant. It was the meaning that mattered, not the words he spoke. We learned to ask questions in a way that was easy for him to answer."
- Margaret Leroux, writing about her father-in-law's dementia in the Globe and Mail
Well, That's Sure To Calm Jittery Investors!
"The story that's told is that I squandered the family money. I made all the money I squandered."
Edgar Bronfman, Jr.
I Hate Fatuous Designers. My Ideal Designer Is Serge Gainsbourg. Not That He Was A Fashion Designer.
"I hate famous women. My ideal woman is Serge Gainsbourg. Not that he was a woman."
- fashion designer Isabel Marant
One Good Absurd Accusation Deserves Another
"The nonsense about President Obama being a Muslim has got to stop. I rise to defend him from this absurd accusation by pointing out that he is obviously an atheist."
- Ann Coulter
But, We Won't Know Until We Conduct A Long Form Census Of - Oh, Too Bad!
"We are very concerned that there are elements of the LTTE and the Tamil tigers on board this vessel."
- Public Safety Minister Vic Toews on the ship that brought 490 migrants from Sri Lanka
And, A Rational Argument To A Libertarian Is Like...A Rhetorical Extreme I'm Not Prepared To Go To
"The dispute isn't about statics but coercion. An offer of un-coerced data to a statist is like an offer of consensual sex to Jack the Ripper."
- George Jonas, in the National Post, about the census
In Addition, We Will Not Stop Stoning Our Adulterous Women Until They Do!
"There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia."
- Newt Gingrich
President States Obvious
After 18 Months In Office, Obama Finally Gets How Things Work
The small business aid package is being "held up by a partisan minority that won't even let it get to a vote. The bill is fully paid for. And, there's no reason to block it besides pure partisan politics."
- President Barack Obama
POLITICALESE TO ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Busted!
"The Commissioner has advised Minister Blackburn's office that her investigation into a complaint about the handling of one veteran's personal information has raised the possibility of systemic privacy issues."
- Valerie Lawton, spokeswoman for Canada's Privacy Commissioner Jennifer Stoddart, on the allegation that veterans' medical records were passed around Ottawa like a bong at a frat party
There You Go Again, Tony, Confusing Your Interests With That Of The Public
I didn't "want the public to be inconvenienced by the inevitable hassle caused by protestors."
- Tony Blair explaining why he canceled a book signing in London
But, First, They Have To Burn Bridges, Burn The Candle At Both Ends And, Of Course, Burns And Allen
"Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings."
- Heinrich Heine, 1933, quoted by opponents of the Reverend Terry Jones' promise to burn a Koran
And, We Said So Before It Started...Didn't We?
The invasion and occupation of Iraq was "a pointless war."
- New York Times editorial
Glenn's Using His To Pull Historical "Facts" Out Of
"Get off your ass and bake some pie!"
- Glenn Beck
Because, As We All Know, Today's Hollywood Moviemakers Are Driven By A Need To Alienate Audiences
"The film [Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps] is cynical, but there's hope at the end. It would have been really easy to make a very nihilistic, cynical version."
- actor Shia LaBeouf
Who Is Worthy Of Protection? Mormons? Used Car Salesmen? Lindsay Lohan?
If Only The Constitution And Bill Of Rights Made Direct Reference To Martin Peretz' Gut!
"But frankly, Muslim life is cheap, most notably to Muslims... So yes, I wonder whether I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse."
- Martin Peretz, editor, The New Republic
How Do You Expect To Win If You Keep Scaring The Public Like That?
"We are not going to be any different than we have been."
- Republican John Boehner
$#*! - Some Newspapers Appear To Have The Same Problem!
"It turns out that some search tools on some DVRs cannot find the new show '$.(AST)! My Dad Says,' because the symbols cannot be read."
- Brian Stelter, Globe and Mail
IDIOT TO ENGLISH TRANSLATION: Until All Hate In The World Is Eradicated, I'll Hold On To Mine, Thanks
"Consider this, too: How many Muslims in Muslim-majority countries do you think have a 'favourable' opinion of Christianity, Judaism and Hinduism?"
- Clifford D. May, National Post
The Lead Balloon Of Canadian Politics
"To them I say: rise above petty politics."
- Finance Minister Jim Flaherty in a speech to the Canadian Club
"Nothing would be safe. No part of our economy would be spared. No taxpayer would avoid the hit... The coalition led by Mr. Ignatieff has its own agenda: power, power, power."
- Finance Minister Jim Flaherty in the same speech to the Canadian Club
It Took Them Four Years To Figure Out What Took Everybody Else Four Seconds To Get
"In pursuing this wedge issue, they have succeeded in galvanizing an unprecedented coalition of business, union, academic, religious and other leaders into defending the long-form census. The Conservatives' refusal to listen to their appeals suggests a remarkably close-minded approach to governing."
- Toronto Star editorial
They Put Too Many Of Their Resources Into Invading Iraq
"The dinosaurs became extinct because they didn't have a space programme."
- science fiction author Larry Niven
