Whistling Past The Graveyard...Then Running Like Hell

I May Not Have All Of The Details Of His Career Correct, But At Least I Spelled His Name Right...

Canadian comedy legend Roger Abbott has died after a 14 year battle with Leukemia. He was 64. He started his career as the straight man to Lou Costello. Later in his career, as a member of the comedy troupe The Royal Canadian Airbus, Abbott specialized in religious humour. "Name is destiny," he once laughingly said.

Reports Of Her Death Are No Longer Greatly Exaggerated

Acting legend Elizabeth Taylor has died at the age of 79 of congestive heart failure. She was tied with Mickey Rooney for the most Hollywood marriages. She was tied with Paul Newman for the best eye colour (until both were surpassed by Malcolm McDowell). Her jewelry collection is equivalent to that of Zsa Zsa Gabor. And, yet, somehow, she managed to put these qualities together into something truly unique.

This Obituary Has Seven Seconds

Legendary Canadian icoco...iconcolast...diversely smart guy Larry Zolf has died at the age of 76 of an undisclosed illness. As a commentator, he probably would not have been satisfied with this missing information.

And, The Music Wasn't Bad, Either

Blues legend Pinetop Perkins has died of cardiac arrest at the age of 97. In his prime, he toured with such greats as Maplewood Mathers, Old Oak Orbison and Cedarsides Clinton. Together, they made one hell of a dining room set.

Proving, Once Again, That No Man Is Above The Laws

Legendary social activist Dudley Laws has died of cancer at the age of 76. Although he was a tireless promoter of black rights, he will likely be remembered for disrupting a Toronto City Council meeting with the Judge Dredd-like pronouncement, "I AM the Laws!"

Do You Have To Be Named Michael To Play A Butler Named Alfred?

British acting legend Michael Gough has died at the age of 94. He is probably best known for the role of Dr. Charles Decker in the film Konga. Or, perhaps you recognize him from the role of Eric Landor in Dr. Terror's House of Horrors. Okay, okay, I'm just messing with you. Everybody loved Gough as that famous butler: Fisk in the movie What a Carve Up!

His Use Of LSD May Have Prepared Him For His Final Trip

Legendary 1960s counterculture figure Owsley "Bear" Stanley has died at the age of 76 in a car crash. He has finally broken on through to the other side.

I Could Pratley On, But I Think You Get The Point

Legendary Canadian film critic and scholar Gerald Pratley has died at the age of 87. As one of his colleagues commented: "He had great hopes for Canadian films." Too bad he didn't live to see them fulfilled.

Popeye Doyle Never Laid A Finger On Him

Rick Martin, a member of the Buffalo Sabre's legendary French Connection line, has died in a car crash at the age of 59. Of course, given the increasing violence of the game, hockey players today can only dream of living so long.

But, Did He Get The Credit He Deserved? I Tell You, There Ain't No Justice!

Legendary Disney animator Bill Justice has died at the age of 97. Justice, who worked on such films as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Bambi, specialized in "cute" character design and drawing, which, of course, meant he was never short of work at Disney.

Legends, All

Toronto Star columnist Jim Travers has died at the age of 62 of complications after surgery on his spleen. Toronto Star reporter Robert Reguly has died at the age of 80 of heart disease. Another Toronto Star columnist, Walter Stefaniuk, has died at the age of 72 of complications following surgery for colon cancer. Coincidence...or conspiracy? They would probably want to get to the bottom of it.

Who Knows? You May Actually Enjoy It

H. B. Fenn and Company, legendary Canadian book distributor, has died of economic complications. The company is survived by many writers who have to wonder about their futures. In lieu of flowers, mourners are asked to buy a book by a Canadian author.

But, They're Some of My Best Lines!

Environmentalist Jack McGinnis, who designed the first blue box, has died at the age of 64. His surviving family has requested that jokes about how his body will be recycled not be told as they are in poor taste.