Yo, Tech Answer Guy,
A couple or two years ago, I was in the market for a new set of wheels on account of because I had an unfortunate accident with a mocha frappacino (not mine) and an airborne abacus (also not mine). I did what anybody in my position (reclining for three weeks) would do: I went to CrowdSourceIt.com and asked what kind of vehicle I should get.
Ninety-six per cent of respondents said I couldn't go wrong with a Toyota. Well. Six months in the hospital and one case of intermittent short term memory loss (which ain't so bad: every episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter is new no matter how many times the missus screams at me that I've seen it before) later, I'm thinking that this wasn't so smart of an idea.
But, I persevered.
A squirrel got caught in the chain of my circular saw, so, course, I hadda replace it. I had my eye on a seven and a quarter inch Milwaukee 6394-21 - what can I say? I'm a sucker for Quik-Lok cord attachments. On the other hand, the Makita BSS610 LXT was looking pretty sweet. I always had a soft spot in my heart for Makita power tools ever since the first hockey card I bought when I was a kid showed Stan Makita with his sweater pulled over his head getting the crap beaten out of him by his mother-in-law.
I didn't know which one to get, so I asked the guys on CrowdSourceIt.com. Eighty-seven per cent said I should get a Japanese circular saw called the Kamikaze 895XLG-21. Well! Doctors say I'll never get those three fingers back!
So, my question to you is this: am I just having bad luck, or does the advice on CrowdSourceIt.com really suck ass?
Sincerely,Yo, Theo,
There used to be a saying: Garbage in, garbage out. This was true for computer programming and feeding babies. If, like me, you are nasally sensitive, especially for feeding babies. These days, it also applies to crowdsourcing, also known as the wisdumb of the crowd. (Yeah, I didn't make that term up, so don't be writing me letters.)
The idea was that, although individually we may be quite stupid, when enough of us got together to decide something, we would have the wisdom of Solomon, the penchant for bon mots of Newton and the hair of Einstein. Turns out, a bunch of dumb guys offering their opinion is just as dumb as individual dumb guys offering their opinion.
There are many reasons for this.
The most important one is that instant communications gives people the opportunity to discuss things they know nothing about. Seriously. You think guys on CrowdSourceIt.com do a shitload of research before they answer your question? You think guys on CrowdSourceIt.com do any research before they answer your question? Believe me, one guy tells you shit he heard from his brother-in-law, who heard it from his barber, who heard it from somebody for whose provenance we cannot vouch. Another guy tells you shit he barely remembers from a shop class he took 20 years ago. Twenty other guys tell you shit they half-remember from an ad they saw last week during the Superbowl halftime show.
You expect brilliance from this?
Wait. It gets worse. Because stupidity tends to be aggressive, it tends to drive away people who actually know what they are talking about. Don't believe me? Check out this discussion of schizophrenia on CrowdSourceIt.com:
banff27thedestroyer: waddaya talking about? everybody knows schizos have multiple personalities. didn't you see the three faces of eve or sybil or that shit?
electriceel27: I do not think you really understand
howard27the27DUCK: WHAT PART OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, ASSWIPE!
electriceel27: Actually, I'm a psychiatrist who specializes in
howard27the27DUCK: BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD! EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT SCHIZOFRENIA IS, SO FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
electriceel27 has left CrowdSourceIt.com, closed the account with her ISP, thrown away her modem, changed her name and moved to a different country.
I'm sorry for the loss of your fingers. If it's any comfort, keep telling yourself that they're in a better place now. But, seriously, how many pieces of your body do you gotta lose before you stop trusting crowds?
The Tech Answer Guy
If you are a dude with a question about the latest technology, ask The Tech Answer Guy by sending it to him care of this publication. Just remember: The Tech Answer Guy is a regular guy like you. Please stop asking him to advise you on the 27 different ways to kill a man with a pork chop.