Thank you, usmansankara0010, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, talks among members of the "supercommittee" made up of an equal number of Democrats and Republicans collapsed. So much for finding a bi-partisan solution to the US debt problem. And, we thought, "Really? It's Thursday already?"
Enjoy,Oh, come on! You can accuse us of being glib all you want, but the Republicans have repeatedly rebuffed any Democratic attempt at bipartisanship, then turned around and accused the Democrats of acting in bad faith! And, after three years of this, Obama still trusted them enough to do this superdupercommittee thing? Barack Obama is not a stupid man, and this judgment comes before he is even compared to his Republican opponents! The only way we can make sense of his behaviour is that he was periodically Retconned throughout his Presidency!
Enjoy,Yeah, yeah, we were underwhelmed by Miracle Day, too. Still, Torchwood had enough good episodes to be a legitimate source of political metaphors, and, in any case, that's really missing the point!
Enjoy, Already,It Hasn't? If That's True, Jews Who Supported The Conservatives Want Their Votes Back
According to Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, nine supportive votes at a committee of the United Nations General Assembly does not signal that the Canadian government has shifted its policy to be more pro-Israel.
Unfortunately, he was sitting in Benjamin Netantyahu's pants pocket at the time he made the statement, so all that anybody could hear was a subdued croaking.
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/bairdisbriefed.htm]
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Who Says Twitter Doesn't Offer A Valuable Perspective On The World?
Ashton Kutcher has announced that he has suspended his Twitter feed. The six billion people who are not on Twitter shrugged and went about their lives.
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/111111/geeklynews/01ashtonoftrouble.htm]
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SOURCE: Billy-Bob's International House O' Headlines
[http://www.com/lol.pdqfc.wwygw.wyswyg/fid=1907532234]
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When It Comes To Spin Doctored Video, Context Makes Everything Right
"Americans...are...sick...Ott...ick!"
You heard it here first, folks. A Democrat President attacking the...the...the American people, for goodness' sake! And, no, that footage was not doctored! No, sir! For some reason, President Obama changed his shirt...between words...four times...during the speech where he made that remark. Not only that, but there was a...a flash snowstorm right in the middle, there. And, no, smartass, I'm not all of a sudden a believer in global warming. I - I'm just - I just - look. Freak weather events happen, okay? Can we focus on what's important, here? Can we just focus on what's important here, please? That is... Umm... (long pause) Oh, go listen to these commercials!
SOURCE: Rush Limburger Home Page
[http://www.rushlimburger.com/home/daily/site_111611/content/truth_distorter.hostile_enemy.html]
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Funny How Blogs Tend To Gloss Over Details Like That...
Athletic clothing brand Lululemon has released a shopping bag which features women doing exercise poses on one side and the phrase "Who is John Galt?" on the other.
"Our bags are visual reminders for ourselves to live a life we love and conquer the epidemic of mediocrity," the company's blog explains.
What it should have said, of course, was, "Somebody in our marketing department read Atlas Shrugged when he was 17 and caught a terminal case of Objectivitis (aren't they all?); when he suggested the catchphrase be put on our products, none of our executives knew what a mediocre book it was, but they knew it appealed to the vanity of very rich people by telling them the fairy tale that they earned everything that they have, and who wouldn't want very rich people to like their products?"
We're sure that if Lululemon gives it more thought, they will correct this oversight.
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1000952604]
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Only Squirmin' Herman Can Make Progress Seem Like Regression!
It's been a great five years for African Americans. First, Barack Obama showed that a competent black man could aspire to become president. Then Herman Cain showed that an incompetent black man could aspire to become president.
SOURCE: Late Tonight with David Lenoman
[http://marketing.ubs.com/latetonight/latetonightshow/monologue]
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Talk About Greecing The Skids!
Greece was allowed into the eurozone, despite not having the financial bona fides to do so, because it was "the birthplace of western civilization." And, I suppose there is a poetic symmetry in play in the recent debt crisis, since it may now cause "the death of western civilization."
SOURCE: Wall Street Infernal
[http://online.wsi.com/article/0,,SB118417097653118404,00.html?mod=home_whats_new_which_u]
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No, He Wasn't The Goofy Kid In The Harry Potter Books - You Really Need To Get Out To Live Theatre More Often!
Famed thespian John Neville has died at the age of 86 after a long battle with Alzheimer's. The sadness at his passing is not an act.
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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When Are The Washington 535 Going To Be Charged Under The Act?
The Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act will cost national organizations about $1 billion for compliance and capital, according to a study by the National Association of Independent Contractors (Loan Sharks Division).
"Yeah, well, we're a legitimate business, innit?" said Association spokesman Sylvester "Polite Rudeboy" Antagonistes. "The AIC employs thousands of people across the country - you think drugs deliver themselves? Or, girls? It would be a shame if legislation would interfere with that, especially in times of economic uncertainty, knowhatImean? It would be a shame if those jobs broke. Yeah, if they just...broke."
SOURCE: The Postington Wash
[http://www.postingtonwash.com/wp-dyn/articles/A49881-2011Nov21.html]
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"Look, I Believe In Freedom Of Speech And Freedom Of Assembly - These Are The Cornerstones Of A Democratic Society. But, What Have The Occupy Protestors Accomplished? They Don't Seem To Have Any Common Goals. They Haven't Accomplished Anything. You Ask Me, They're Just A Bunch Of Homeless People And Drug Addicts Using The Gullible As A Shield To Take Over A Public Spa - Hey! Did You See That? That Was Destruction Of Private - Send In The Cops! SEND THE COPS, NOW! GAS 'EM! GAS 'EM! GAS 'EM! BUST SOME HEADS! WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS KIND OF LAWLESSNESS ON PUBLIC PROPERTY!"
SOURCE: No Comment Quotes
[http://thesepeopleareinsane.psy/update.toshtml]
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Thank Goodness We Have The Real RCMP To Look Up To!
Belief in the cartoon RCMP has been shaken with disclosure that Dudley Do-Right has been accused of sexually harassing women in his office.
In a press conference, Inspector Fenwick stated that Do-Right had been relieved of duty pending an investigation of the allegations against him.
"It makes you wonder," a criminal known by the street name Snidely Whiplash, "if they put the wrong man behind bars!"
Inspector Fenwick tasered Whiplash, who fell back on his bunk, silent.
In his defense, Do-Right stated, "Nell, oh, Nell. You know that I have done nothing wrong...right?"
Nell Fenwick responded, "Oh, Dudley, now can you understand why I preferred to spend time with your horse?"
A cross between a whinny and laughter could be heard in the distance.
SOURCE: This 22 Minutes Feels Like An Hour
[http://www.mothercorp.ca/hour22minutes/]
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