Thank you, Jiddu Krishnamurti, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, Scotland's bagpipe experts complained that material for a vital part of the instrument was being made in China, which could change the sound of traditional bagpipes. Change the sound of traditional bagpipes? we thought. HOW WOULD ANYBODY BE ABLE TO TELL?
Enjoy,Putting The Jerk Back In Knee Jerk Reaction
ACTION ALERT! ACTION ALERT! ACTION ALERT! ACTION ALERT!
President Obama has come out in favour of same sex marriage. WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO GO UNCHALLENGED!!!!!! We must lobby state legislatures for constitutional bans against gay marriage!!!!!! Although, uhh, actually, 30 states have already enacted constitutional bans on gay marriage. But, err, that's not all we can do. NO!!!! We must get prominent people to denounce the President in the press!!!!!!!!! Although, now that we look at our Twitter feed, we see that Republicans are already all over that. Good. Good. Should have known that they would be on top of it. Still, there's no reason for complacency. We must create advertisements opposing gay marriage in order to mobilize public opinion against - what? Far right PACs are already doing this? Okay. But we can...umm...that is to say we should...uhh...
We must remain vigilant against the threat of people we don't like exercising their rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
INACTION ALERT! INACTION ALERT! INACTION ALERT! INACTION ALERT!
SOURCE: Bigots Without Borders
[http://www.bigotswithoutborders.org/]
more
You Know What They Say: If You Say You Listened To Spastic Umbrella In The 1970s, You Probably Weren't Living In This Universe
Are record companies obscenely milking old bands? You be the judge.
The Best of Spastic Umbrella was released eight years ago. This was followed by The Very Best of Spastic Umbrella, which was followed by No, Seriously, This Is Actually Well and Truly The Very Assuredly Best of Spastic Umbrella. You would have thought that this would have settled the matter, but less than six months later, this was followed by Fuck the Rest of The Sorry Ass Releases, This Is The Best of Spastic Umbrella. A year later, there was Okay, This May Not Be Exactly the Best of Spastic Umbrella, But It's Still Pretty Damn Good and, almost simultaneously, fans could buy This Best of Spastic Umbrella Could Kick The Ass of Any of the Other Best of Spastic Umbrella Albums Without Even Working Up a Sweat!
The sad thing is that the Yorkville band Spastic Umbrella only released one album in 1974 before all of the members died in a tragic penguin inhalation accident while on vacation in the Chinese Alps. Each of the "best of" albums contains all 12 songs from that album, plus one bonus song (a live performance, alternate studio take or, in one case, a ring-tone medley).
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now, Canada!
[http://www.canada.com/globulltv/globullshows/ern_canada.html]
more
Some Politicians Can't Help Making Austeres Of Themselves
France has elected Francoise Hollande, a centre-left President, and other European nations may be considering ousting right wing politicians who support severe austerity measures. Why is the punditariat surprised? Did people really expect European citizens to say to themselves, "I love being out of work and labouring under crippling debt while government programmes that might have been able to help me are being slashed or eliminated entirely. Especially when it benefits multinational corporations and individuals who are already stinking rich. Yes! Yes, I want four more years of that misery!"?
IMF: Yeah. Un hunh. Pretty much.
SOURCE: The Lefty Hipp-Starr Show
[http://www.msnobc.msn.com/id/26014768/]
more
Romney Had Never Been Wedded To The Man...Figuratively, Of Course...
Mitt Romney's spokesman on national security, Richard Grenell, resigned this week after the American Family Association complained that he was gay.
"Gay people are not capable of understanding complex security issues," the AFA's Bryan Fischer explained. "Their minds are focused on other things, like what pattern of fabric would look best on the couch in the living room, or...or how the pants I'm wearing accentuate my firm buttocks. STOP LOOKING AT MY FIRM BUTTOCKS, FAGGOT!"
SOURCE: Cleveland Wheeler Dealer
[http://www.cleveland.ca/enter/index.ssf?/living/wheelerdealer/index.ssf%3fu/base/news/110674802571960.xml]
more
Somewhere In His Brain, A Lonely Synapse Cries Out For Reason
Okay, okay, we get it: right wing politicians are not concerned about the environment because they assume the free market will find solutions to any problems that may arise. Polluted water? No problem. Human beings will be genetically reengineered with filters in our throats. Unbreathable air? Human beings will be genetically reengineered to breath sulfuric acid. Surface temperatures of over 200 degrees Fahrenheit? Well...outside of Palmolive commercials, soft skin is overrated.
Environmentalists who say different are just mindlessly standing in the way of progress and must, therefore, have the full weight of the government brought to bear against them.
What makes Environment Minister Peter Kent different from most Conservative hacks - and his statement more crazy than mere partisan hackery - is that, for decades, he was a journalist. At some point in his life, he knew the value of carefully chosen words, and must have had some respect for, you know, facts. I'd hate to be the ref in the wrassling match between his ambition and his rationality!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
more
The Economy Is So Bad, Deals Are No Longer Sufficient
71% off at Girl with a Bucket List
If you're dying, but don't have the imagination to create an interesting list of things you want to do before you go, treat yourself to a brainstorming session with today's Stealfind: $29 for 4 Hours of Professional Terminal Imagineering from Girl with a Bucket List ($100 Value). The only thing not only the list is the Girl herse...
SOURCE: Stealfind
[http://www.stealfind.com/toronto/girlwithabucket/?s=dd-thin&utm_source=dailynewsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=girlwithabucketlist-toronto]
more
DETENTION DIARY: So Long, And Thanks For All The - SHIT!
WEEK TWENTY
"Well," the interrogator said, putting the papers in front of him in a neat pile, "I would like to thank you for being so forthright with us. Your answers have been very helpful."
"They have?" I gulped.
"Indeed, they have. I had no idea that Tom Cruise was instrumental in selling cruise missiles to Al Qeada members in Vera Cruz! It does explain why he is so ‘picky' about which film roles he chooses."
I felt a pang of guilt over that one, but, honestly, my testicles are healthier for it.
"We just need to verify some of the details," the interrogator continued.
My testicles shrank defensively.
"The good news," the interrogator told me, "is that we have already started getting corroboration of your information from other detainees in the facility."
My testicles were confused. "But...how...?" I mumbled.
"Some detainees are naturally cooperative when they arrive here," the interrogator explained. "Others need to be...convinced to cooperate. Whatever. Surely, you must know how it works by now: in the end, we get what we want."
The interrogator stood up. The guard, standing behind me as always, gently poked me in the shoulder blade, and I stood up, too.
"You will have to sign some papers," the interrogator seemed apologetic. "I know, I know - paperwork is a major pain in the ass. Still, Homeland Security likes it's t's dotted and i's crossed - you know how bureaucrats can be."
"And, then I can go home?" I asked, hopeful.
The interrogator chuckled. "It's good to see that you've managed to retain your sense of humour through all of this. Laughter can be such a healing thing."
"Then...what..."
"Oh, you're a traitor to your country," the interrogator said, warmly. "You will be put on trial and, when found guilty, spend the rest of your life in prison."
SOURCE: Harpo's
[http://harpos.org/archive/2012/05/20/dd-9000020]
more
Madrassah As A Hatter
The East End Madrassah, a Muslim Sunday school in Thornhill, has been teaching a curriculum that, among other things, accused Jews of "conspiring to kill the Prophet Muhammad." This is wrong. Plainly, stupidly, stubbornly wrong.
Everybody knows that Jews conspired to kill Jesus. If Muslims want to accuse Jews of deicide, they'll have to get in line!
SOURCE: Religion For Dummies
[http://www.politicsfordummies.com/entertainmentfordummies/economicsfordummies/religionfordummies/home.asp?did=532&dir=bb]
more
