Thank you, mokokeroseneb@yoohoo.co.jp, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, as the Mayans predicted, the world ended. In response, the ever contrarian stock market rose, Republican leader John Boehner blamed President Obama and ordinary people went about their lives as if nothing had changed.
And, we sighed and thought, Wow. We really are jaded!
Enjoy,Oh, The Humanity! (Now In Collector Spray Bottle!)
Not sure what to get your Gaza girly to celebrate the holidays? Oranges, red meat and electricity a little out of your price range? Why not get her a bottle of M-75, a citrus-scented perfume with just the slightest undernote of burning flesh! Sexy! Sassy! Perfect for a special night of dancing in the rubble of your favourite disco or everyday going through military checkpoints just to buy some groceries. M-75, named for the Palestinian rockets that rained down on Israeli cities, tells your West Bank woman that you would kill innocent people for her. And, what could be more romantic than that!
M-75 - your lover will explode...with delight!
SOURCE: Ad Meek
[http://www.admeek.com/A&W/national/article_display.jsp?nuvu_content_id=1290952486]
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I Remember When We Used To Use Line Commands To Get Our Porn...In Hex - And We Liked It!
A tweak in Google's search algorithm will mean fewer pornographic images will show up. This is as it should be. After all, if teenage boys can't find Internet porn on their own, they don't deserve to have it!
SOURCE: Geekly News & World Report
[http://www.geeklynews.com/geeklynews/issue/121211/geeklynews/01friendswithbenefitschacha.htm]
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The federal government will not release commitments made by two state-owned enterprises to win approval of their oil-industry takeovers, citing Investment Canada Act provisions that protect the commercial interests of foreign investors. Just weeks after Canada's new copyright law took effect, an Ontario-based Internet service provider has been hit with a demand for personal information about thousands of its customers.
"According to the law, I'm not allowed to communicate these undertakings," Industry Minister Christian Paradis said. "I can tell Canadians that the undertakings that they provided are significant in terms of governance, transparency and disclosure."
"We've seen nothing like this before," said Tina Furlan, director of marketing for TekSavvy. "The magnitude of this is just unbelievable."
SOURCE: 24 Hour News Mashups
[http://politicalmashups.seeblogspotrun.com/]
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A new US school curriculum will make it compulsory for at least 70 per cent of books studied to be non-fiction; suggested texts, chosen with an eye to helping students get jobs after they graduate, include Recommended Levels of Insulation by the Environmental Protection Agency and Invasive Plant Inventory, by California's Invasive Plant Council.
Why? Are students not sufficiently discouraged from reading by current teaching methods?
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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Three More Verys And We Would Have To Take It Seriously
Lawyers for Tancredo Minuet have argued that all charges of attempted robbery against him should be dismissed because he didn't actually get any of the money he had demanded from bank tellers at gunpoint.
"Look," legal beagle Amanda Speigel argued, "the federal government is making the case that it shouldn't be held liable for misleading phone calls in the last election because there was no proof that anybody was fooled by them. If this argument is accepted, it will establish the 'It isn't a crime if you don't succeed at it' doctrine, and my client wants in on that!"
At least six attempted murderers, four attempted arsonists and an attempted Siberian husky penguin smuggler are watching this case very carefully. Very, very carefully.
SOURCE: The National Whipping Post
[http://www.canada.com/national/nationalwhippingpost/news/story.html?ia=ecda-b6e6-4c18-bf9b-07b657]
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Education Doesn't Uncrazy You, Either.
Sometimes, the simplest crazy is the best.
Ryan Bomberger, co-founder of the Radiance Foundation, a marketing nonprofit that creates anti-abortion ad campaigns, could have taken up residence in the Bag of Crazy for his position that abortion is a war against black people (because, obviously, white women never undergo the procedure). However, it takes a certain demented genius to be able to sum up your contempt for women in four words.
Bomberger's appearance is also a reminder, now that Allen West has lost his seat in the House of Representatives, that crazy is truly colour-blind.
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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A One-piece Is Best For Diving Into Logic Traps
Eleven science fiction-related lists that you probably won't find on science fiction blogs or Web sites
1. Seventeen robots who were more fun drunk than soberSOURCE: The Web Page of Lists
[http://www.ListsPage.argh/2012/December/Weird_Scifi_Self-reference.asp]
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I Prefer Embracing The New Abnormal (Like All The Other Zombie Movie Fans)
With the world economy still in the doldrums, Canadian management shouldn't expect to make any significant gains next year, the Conference Board of Canada says. "Modest economic prospects matched by modest expectations may provide a degree of stability for CEOs and senior managers that encourages pragmatism rather than rhetoric. It's time to embrace the new normal," the report says.
Then, I woke up.
SOURCE: Martini's Up Canada! Blog
[http:martini.upcanada.blogspeck.com]
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