What You Miss Because You're Not Following Me on Twitter
1. January is The Wisdom of Coughing Up Rhino Month
2. I cough up a rhino, therefore I am.
3. In space, nobody can hear you cough up a rhino.
4. Laugh and the world laughs with you; cough up a rhino, and you cough up a rhino alone.
5. To cough up a rhino, or not to cough up a rhino. That is the question.
6. He was like a bull coughing up a rhino in a china shop.
7. Give a man a rhino, and he'll cough it up for a week. Teach a man to hunt, and rhinos will go extinct.
8. If you want to be a member of polite society, you must never cough up a rhino after Labour Day.
9. Of all the gin joints in all the world, she had to cough up a rhino in mine!
10. If at first you don't cough up a rhino, cough, cough, cough again.
11. What doesn't kill me makes me cough up a rhino stronger.
12. What is the sound of one hand coughing up a rhino?
13. Turn your head and cough...up a rhino.
14. Young boy coughs up rhino/Mother sues zoo for negligence
15. There should be a law against coughing up a rhino while driving!
16. Would you like cream in your coughing up a rhino?
17. See no rhino, hear no rhino, cough up no rhino.
18. Ask not for whom the bell coughs up a rhino. It coughs up a rhino for thee.
19. Evolutionary biologists believe that coughing up a rhino was an adaptation to an environment that no longer exists.
20. If you cough up a rhino, you're doing it wrong.
21. I believe in Asimov's Three Laws of Coughing Up a Rhino.
22. You have the right to rhino silently. Anything you cough up may be used against you in a court of law.
23. I need to see an ear, nose and coughing up a rhino specialist!
24. Philosophers have long debated: was Buddha laughing, or was he coughing up a rhino?
25. I'll cough up a rhino when you pry it from my cold, dead throat!
26. Step on a crack, cough up a rhino's mother's back!
27. Whom the gods would destroy, they first make cough up a rhino.
28. The number one rule of Internet debate: the first person to mention Hitler or Nazis coughs up a rhino.
29. What is coughing up a rhino, anyway? Does anybody really cough up anything anyway? (Howard Jones)
30. Do not go gently into that good night. Rage, rage, rage against the coughing up of the rhino...'s, umm, light...
31. "I'll take Coughing Up a Rhino for $1,000, Alex."
0. For the month of July, I celebrate the life of my cat Mimi.
1. When Mimi the cat doesn't want me to buy flea powder at the vet, she runs me a merry purr chase.
2. When Mimi the cat is angry because of the scent I'm wearing, I can see the purr fume.
3. She is serious about not being here for anybody's inspiration or entertainment: Mimi the Cat is not a mews.
4. When Mimi the cat wants me to know how serious she is about not becoming a LOLcat, she strikes a purr pose.
5. I have a hard time convincing Mimi the cat not to sleep on my leather jacket; I simply cannot purr suede her.
6. Mimi the cat likes stealing my dinner meat; she really loves a good purr loin.
7. Mimi the cat doesn't enjoy it when I involve her in feline dancing.
8. Mimi the cat believes it is her right to sit on the balcony and watch the world below; everything is within her purr view.
9. When the neighbourhood cats have a yowling jamboree, Mimi the Cat enjoys the mew sick.
10. Mimi the cat isn't a big fan of the Knights of the Round Table, but at least she's Purr civil about it.
11. When Mimi the cat is on the road, she gets a generous purr diem.
12. When I complain about how expensive her food is, Mimi the cat turns up her nose at my fee line.
13. Mimi the Cat knows what species and gender she is, even if she does like to be treated like a purr son.
14. Mimi the Cat believes I exist to serve her every need as purr her instructions.
15. I wouldn't say Mimi the Cat enjoys being treated like royalty, but she does seem to like her purr pull.
16. When neighbours call her a freak, Mimi the Cat just keeps walking, ignoring the mew taunt.
17. Mimi the Cat is a card shark - watch her closely to ensure she contributes to the kitty.
18. Having lost one life to drowning, Mimi the Cat is now an octopuss.
19. Mimi the Cat never settles. She always gives 100 purr cent.
20. Too much catnip makes Mimi the Cat purr blind.
21. Mimi the Cat loves The X-Men. She has real Kitty Pryde.
22. Modest Bart the Fish likes to be watched by Mimi the Cat, who always makes him feel puss eyed on.
23. I'm not saying Mimi the Cat rules any space she enters, but she is a real purr Vader.
24. Mimi the Cat is a pacifist: she stays out of the feline of fire.
25. Mimi the Cat hates fruit. If she eats properly, she never has to go on a diet of purr Simmons.
26. Mimi the cat loves Shakespeare, especially: "To sleep, purr chance to dream..."
27. Mimi the Cat loves art! Every chance she gets, she goes to the mew see 'em.
28. Mimi the Cat would like to learn Spanish, purr favor.
29. She is happy to help design people's floats, because Mimi the Cat loves a purr aid.
30. Against rats, Mimi the Cat is the last feline of defense.
31. Mimi the Cat's fur is so soft it's the purr suit of happiness.
