Headlines Did Not Contribute to the Global Financial Meltdown
But They Did Nothing to Stop It, Either

Statement Least Likely To Be Taken Seriously By The Police

"'I turned and the llama jumped on me'" - Toronto Star

Purple Matter Got Caught Paying For Hookers

"How did grey matter become sexy?" - Globe and Mail

Mother Chastises It For Bad Table Manners

"Black Hole Caught in Act of Swallowing Star" - LiveScience.com

Especially Those Who Read Financial Punditry

"Six reasons to be optimistic about the U.S. recovery" - Globe and Mail

 "A slower recovery, not a recession" - Globe and Mail

 "Investors not always rational" - Toronto Star

No, No: That's How He Can Get A Library

"How Obama can get re-elected: Act like Reagan" - Globe and Mail

If Only Death Wasn't So...Sexy...

"Coverage cheaper when you are young and healthy
Insurance for young a tough sell" - National Post

More About My Grandparents Than I Needed To Know, Thanks

"The night may start with shuffleboard, but it won't be over until someone loses their jeans" - National Post

I Guess Tums Isn't The Answer...

"London is burning" - headline in just about every newspaper

That Sent Us Through The Roof And Halfway To Mars!

"Believe it or not, we're in a recovery
We just hit a speed bump, economists say" - Toronto Star

 Proving That There's A Touch Of Hoover In All Of Us
(And, Doesn't That Suck?)

"PM insists cuts, not stimulus, best policy" - Globe and Mail

We Learned To Ignore A Billion Starving People

"EARTH AT SEVEN BILLION
For decades, population growth was said to spell doom for humanity. But the so-called population bomb went off and we're still standing. What happened?" - National Post

Well, I'm Glad We Cleared That Up

"Is this a repeat of 2008?" - Toronto Star

 "Don't panic - it isn't 2008" - Toronto Star

 "IT'S NOT 2008, REALLY" - National Post

12 Copies Highly Impressive For Genre

"U.S. poet laureate sees book sales rise" - Globe and Mail

You Mean, It HAS Another Side?

"Marketing's sinister side" - Toronto Star

Anything I Could Write In Response Would Just be Cheap

"Bovine beauty a world favourite
NUMEROUS AWARDS
Quebec cow has global fans 'just like Celine Dion'" - National Post

He Holds The Bernankes To The Kingdom

"Bernanke is seeing a silver lining
Economy solid enough to grow without more stimulus, Fed chief says" - Toronto Star

 "A little help, please: Bernanke pushes Congress on economy" - Globe and Mail

You Mean, It Started?

"THE END OF OBAMANOMICS" - National Post

Well - Tee Hee - I Do Work Out A Lot - Thank You For Noticing...

"The city's best buns are in the 'burbs" - Globe and Mail

Making Him A Central Loudmouth

"The mayor's political provocateur
Once easily dismissed as a fringe loudmouth, Giorgio Mammoliti is now a Ford spokesperson" - Toronto Star

It's Purple...It Comes In Cream Or Ointment...And, OH, OH, IT'S ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE...!

"The Elusive BIG IDEA" - New York Times

 Some People Seem To Think The World Is Ending
(Can I Have Their Ponies When They're Gone?)

"The world isn't ending: Sell your bonds, buy stocks" - Globe and Mail

 "Anxious investors pour into U.S., Canada bonds" - Globe and Mail

 It's Always Been Here
Some People Just Took Longer To Appreciate It

"Has the time of the redhead finally arrived?" - National Post

You Don't Need A Study To Know That It Definitely Shortens Your Lifespan By An Hour

"Every Hour of TV You Watch May Shorten Your Lifespan By 22 Minutes [STUDY]" - Mashable

Psychiatrists Appreciate Not Having To Deal With The Histrionics

"One in four psychiatric patients restrained" - Globe and Mail

THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE REASSURING?

"Problem banks down to 865" - Toronto Star

Who Needs Food And Shelter To Live A Fulfilling Life?

"MAKING DO WITH LESS
The age of no-frills retirement" - National Post

 Especially During A Full Moon
After A Black Cat Has Crossed Your Path
On Friday The 13th...

"Try your beginner's luck
Market turmoil may have a lot of people tearing their hair out, but for the investment virgin it's a good time to start a portfolio" - Globe and Mail

Keep Them Out Of The Microwave?

"Cure for exploding watermelons" - Toronto Star