A Headline Here, A Headline There
And Pretty Soon You're Talking About Real Text

When Brain Matter Is Exposed, Brain Matter Hasn't Been Used

"The Greek 'haircut' gets more like shaved head" - Globe and Mail

It Probably Will Be NOW, Thank You For Asking!

"Can Q4 be any worse?" - National Post

The Decline Of Print Media Is In The Eye Of The Board Of Directors

"Star leads rivals in readership, survey finds
Total print and online audience up for 2011" - Toronto Star

 "Globe readership grows, both for print and online" - Globe and Mail

Please...If It's Not Too Inconvenient...Not That I Would Ever Presume To Tell You What To Do

"BACK OFF OUR TAXPAYERS, FLAHERTY TELLS U.S." - National Post

Maybe It Believes Human Head Soup Is An Aphrodisiac

"Shark fin soup may fall off wedding menus" - Globe and Mail

 "3 shark killings raise spectre of rogue man-eater" - Globe and Mail

Government Immediately Responds...With A Call For Another Study

"Global warming will be costly, advisory panel warns
Country must act quickly to reduce financial impact of adapting to changes, national roundtable says" - Globe and Mail

Don't Laugh - He's A Spiking Bastard

"Medvedev tries to show off his 'macho' side on the badminton court" - Globe and Mail

Winning The Mark Twain Prize Wasn't Enough For Him - Now He Wants A World Series Ring To Go Along With It?

"Sox reportedly eyeing Farrell" - Toronto Star

We Were Just Getting Over The Last Wave Of Negative Publicity...

"Trader's arrest may revive calls for greater risk controls
'Couldn't come at a worse time for UBS'" - National Post

They're Not Helping Dad Make The Car Payments, Either

"Decline in incomes no help to faltering U.S. economy" - Globe and Mail

Should Probably Have Stayed Off The Opium

"U.S. COMMANDER FOR AFRICA SEES END TO LIBYA MISSION" - Toronto Star

The Smells Alone Are A Big Tipoff

"It's difficult to keep a child a secret" - Toronto Star

Promises, Promises

"Before turning the page on his legal saga, Conrad Black delivers one final attack on his critics
I'M TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME" - National Post

That's No Way To Talk About Karl Rove

"The Ingenuity of Slime Molds" - New York Times

Couldn't Get Tickets For Lenin, Had To Settle For Their Second Choice

"Libyans line up to see trophy body
Gadhafi in freezer as controversy grows over his alleged execution" - Toronto Star

Smearing A PDA All Over Your Lover's Body Isn't Likely To Have The Same Erotic Effect As Paint

"APPLE & ART: WOULD PICASSO HAVE LOVED AN IPAD?" - Globe and Mail

Wasn't That The Name Of A Neal Stephenson Novel?

"Paparazzi robots and bedsheet tunnels!" - National Post

Maybe You Should Hire A Few More Fact Checkers...

"Job market defies doomsayers
Canadian employment holding up in volatile global economy; seasonal jump in education positions spurs increase" - Globe and Mail

 "Private sector lost 15,000 jobs last month" - Toronto Star

Because Breadlines Are More Interesting To Cover Than Occupy Wall Street

"If Only It Were A Depression" - New York Times

 So, They're More Like Tepid, Limp Facts?
You're Going To Need A Lot Of Salt To Make Them Palatable!

"Take cold, hard facts with grain of salt, economist says - they could be revised" - Globe and Mail

We're Doomed #237 (Collect The Whole Series!)

"Minority mandate will require maturity
'It takes grown-ups among politicians' to work effectively" - Toronto Star

Then, WHO IS THE MONEY GOING TO?

"RICH WRITER, POOR WRITER
Money has never been the point of the literary life, says Pulitzer Prize-winner Richard Ford, but it helps if your mate has a steady job" - Globe and Mail

 "At the world biggest book fair, it's still about the money" - Globe and Mail

And, Shoes Are Much Chewier Than Cupcakes

"'Toning' shoes no healthier than eating cupcakes" - Toronto Star

If Only It Had Been Copts Instead of Muslims, The Headline Would Have Been Perfect!

"Muslims, Christians clash in Cairo" - Globe and Mail

I Think The Rabbi Would Disagree With You

"No need for two SEDARS" - National Post

I Know That Somethings Is Wrong With This Headline, But I Can't Quite Put My Finger On Them...

"Liberals party lays off dozens of aides at Queen's Park" - Toronto Star

The Country's Government Has Learned Its Lessons Well

"China's Gains Benefit Banks, Not People" - New York Times

Look How Well It's Worked For Goldman Sachs

"Innovation 2.0: Rewarding mistakes and risk-taking" - Globe and Mail