Thank you, Ernestine Easley, for signing up for The Daily Me. Our search engine has combed the Internet for up to the minute news items that fit the profile you have so painstakingly filled out for us. Then, we weighted the probability that you would be interested in these articles against forms which showed what people with tastes similar to yours have liked reading in the past. Then, on the radio somebody said, "Call me old-fashioned, but I think a good product sells itself." And, we wondered: What does this say about Kijiji, the product that was being advertised?
Enjoy,Making Himself Totally IrreLevant
COURSE TITLE: The Theory and Practice of Logical NegativismP1 + P2 = LC
where
P1 = Proposition 1EXAMPLE 1: Global warming is accepted as fact by over 10,000 climate scientists. [P1] Alberta's Tar Sands is one of the most poisonous environments created by humanity on the planet. [P2] Greenpeace should immediately be labelled a terrorist organization, and everybody who belongs to it should be thrown in jail before they destroy everything that is good and decent about this country! [LC]
EXAMPLE 2: A memo circulated by the Greater Essex County District School Board said that alternate activities should be provided for children whose families don't want them to be involved in Remembrance Day activities. [P1] The School Board has linked to two Muslim-themed Web sites on the Internet. [P2] The board says teachers should be prepared to exempt Muslim students from Remembrance Day. [LC]
EXAMPLE 3: All men are mortal. [P1] Thomas Mulcair is a man. [P2] Thomas Mulcair is an immediate threat to the well-being of Canada and should be thrown in jail before he destroys everything that is good and decent about this country! [LC]
The universe of demonstrably true statements is relatively small. The universe of demonstrably untrue statements is vast. This course will help you learn how to explore it, and then how to exploit it for political profit.
SOURCE: The Smoking Gut
[http://www.thesmokinggut.com/archive/108096382861023470563-7946374864826327230173072840-473418378150637420952-37cahs01.html]
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Worse Than The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 1?
This summer's Hollywood box office was the worst in eight years, down %15 from 2013. But, don't blame the movies.
"It wasn't because the movies were bad," said Hollywood producer Milch Feldstein. "Because, frankly, we've made more money with much worse product. I blame space aliens."
Space aliens, Milch?
"Absolutely," Feldstein insisted. "They kidnapped our target audience and subjected them to alien art that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares!"
SOURCE: Entertainment Right Now
[http://www.entertainmentrightnow.com/mini/smug2014/2014/11/03/thereisnojoyinhollywoodland/]
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It's Like Saying That Giving Poor People A Pittance So That They Won't Starve Actually Keeps Them From Wor - Dammit! Is There No Crazy Idea That The Wealthy WON'T Say?
Statistics show that, while the top one per cent of income earners in the world continue to amass more of the world's wealth, the top one per cent of Canadians actually controlled less of the country's wealth than it had the year before. Representatives of the wealthy now argue that income disparity is not such a big deal. This would be like people denying 30 years of global temperature increases because their city had a colder winter than the year before.
Oh, wait. They say that, too...
SOURCE: The Quick and the Detwiler
[http://quick&detwiler.blogspot.com/]
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If Anybody Is Offended By This Article, I Would Just Like To Say That I'm Sorry That I Have No Intention Of Apologizing For It
You can tell a lot about somebody from their public statements. Like what time period they must imagine they're living in.
From his recent statements, for example, I would put BBC radio host Nick Conrad at around the Neanderthal period of human development; however, given his belated apology, I suppose some people would be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and place him in the 1950s. As if there was that much difference between the two, smart clothes and three martini lunches notwithstanding.
And, what great principle was Conrad defending? Nothing less than the possible reinstatement of football (soccer to heathen North Americans) Ched Evans, who was released from jail after serving over two years for the rape of a 19 year-old woman, to his team, Sheffield United.
I know that sports makes many men crazy, but, umm, so...this. Wow.
As for the non-apology apology, that's so...last week, actually. People in the public eye still use it a lot of the time. However, saying, "I'm sorry you were offended by my statement" is like saying "I'm sorry you're upset that I just ran over your dog," or "I'm sorry you're in pain because I just cut off your arm." You're not actually saying you're sorry that you just ran over the person's dog or cut off the person's arm at all. And, given that it's hard to accidentally cut off somebody's entire arm, it should surprise no one that you aren't sorry you did it!
SOURCE: Karl's Big Red Web Page of Unreconstructed Marxism
[http://www.bigred.commie/articles/218^.htm]
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"Besides, Galatea Is A Very Savvy Three Year-old..."
Finance Minister Joe Oliver said the government approved a $550 million tax credit without conducting an internal analysis of how many jobs it would create. The reason? "The three year-old daughter of the President of The Canadian Federation of Independent Business (C-FIB) claimed that it would create a gabillion million person jobs per year...or yearly jobs per person...or...umm, well, whatever the unit of measurement, it seemed like a good enough amount for the investment to us."
When it was suggested that perhaps basing government policy on the calculations of a three year-old wasn't a good idea, Oliver snorted. "I suppose you think we should have gotten Statistics Canada to do the calculations. Seriously? After all of the money we've cut from their budget, I wouldn't trust them to calculate my weekly grocery expenses!"
SOURCE: Canadian Depress
[http://www.cd.org/english/notforyou.htm]
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It Was The Way I Think A Lot Of Us Would Like To Go
RJ, the loveable raccoon has died. Although he had diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure and rickets, he actually died when he fell into a vat full of the cream filling for Twinkies.
"It was the way he would have wanted to go!" said RJ's best friend, Hammy.
"At least RJ died happy," agreed Vern, somebody who claimed to know the loveable raccoon well, but, if that were true, you would think we would have seen them in public together at least once or twice.
SOURCE: Obits 'R Us
[http://www.king.ids.net/~bdlm/obits_r_us.html]
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